Hooters Fall Football Menu

Because nothing goes better with football season than deliciousness, Hooters has kicked off their football themed fall seasonal menu.  Being a very dedicated and hungry employee, I made it my mission to try each of the four items available for a limited time only.  The things I do for my job.

Luckily, stuffing my face means that you get a play-by-play of all the menu awesomeness.  I present to you my totally unbiased, honest opinions of Hooters' fall offerings.  I am not responsible for any drooling on your computer.

Speedway Sandwich
The Speedway Sandwich is grilled chicken breast smothered in Hooters signature Daytona wing sauce.  If you haven't tried Daytona on your wings, first off you should and I generally describe it as a "spicy yet sweet sauce with a decent kick."  It's also caramelized on the grill after being applied to your favorite fried or grilled item.  This makes it amazing.  Try it now. 

Back to the sandwich.  Like I said, the Speedway features a chicken breast grilled and tossed in Daytona sauce.  It is then topped with melty cheddar cheese, bacon, tomatoes and green onions all on a ciabatta roll.  The sandwich is served with a side of baked beans.

Sounds amazing right?  Yeah, I thought so too.  Sadly, this offering disappointed me and several customers I've served it too.  For having all that good shit on it the Speedway seemed surprising bland to me.  Not that is wasn't good it just wasn't incredibly memorable.  There was no, "oh shit this sandwich blew my effing mind!"  It's still a decent sandwich, but definitely not my favorite item on the menu.  Also, I get the whole Daytona/Speedway thing they have going with the name, but this is a football menu.  Nascar?  Football?  Step it up, people.

Baja Burger
The Baja burger is a Southwestern style burger.  It features a half-pound all-beef burger covered in provolone cheese, pico de gallo, jalapeños and a delicious ancho chipotle sauce.  Served with a side of baked beans.

You need to go to the nearest Hooters right now and put this burger in your mouth.  I don't care if the closest Hooters is ten hours away or on Mars or whatever; you need this burger now.  It's seriously that good.  Hands down my favorite thing currently on the Hooters menu.  I have dreams about this burger.  Delicious, amazing, wonderful dreams.  I dread the day it leaves the menu.

BBQ Sandwich
The BBQ Sandwich features Hooters barbeque pork topped with coleslaw and onion tanglers (we do onion rings) on a ciabatta roll.  It also is the only special item that doesn't come with stupid beans.  It comes with sweet potato fries.  This makes it infinitely more awesome.

This is my second favorite of the featured items.  Of course by second favorite I actually mean that it wishes it could be half as good as the Baja Burger.  But I'm clearly Baja biased.  All things considered it's a darn scrumptious sandwich.  I even liked the sweet potato fries and those sorts of things generally aren't my style.  So I suppose that means they are pretty delish too.

Nacho Ordinary Cheeseburger
Just like the Baja Burger, the Nacho Ordinary Cheeseburger starts with Hooters half-pound burger.  It's then finished off with a bit of chili, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and sour cream.  It is also served with baked beans.

Yeah, this burger is good but I'm not really a fan of chili on my burger.  It's a burger, is more meat really necessary?  Not for this little lady.  This is clearly a manly-man burger meant for someone with chest hair and muscles and rough hands.  This burger is for a man that doesn't mind getting dirty.  This is a burger meant for the man of my dreams.

I suggest you hop on over to Hooters and try all these little delights for yourself.  Or just the Baja Burger.  Mmmm, Baja Burger.

The Girl On the Menu

About a million times a day I get asked the following question.  Ok, so it's really more like a few times a week, but whatever.  Here goes:

"Are you the girl on the front of this menu?"

Sorry to disappoint, but no, I am not the amazingly beautiful girl on the front of every single book, on every single table, at every single Hooters.  I wish I was, but alas I am not.  Thank you for thinking I am though, because you thinking that I look like her is a compliment I will most graciously accept.  Let's face it, she's sexy and I am glad that you find me close enough to her sexiness to mistake me for her.  I bask in her sexy that you place upon me.

Here's the thing though.  Just because I am brunette and blue eyed does not make me this girl.  I, in fact, think I look nothing like this girl.  You see my eyes, though they are blue, are much, much darker than hers.  My hair is also shorter and my nose is not even close to that "button" looking.  I am most definitely not this girl.  Sorry to ruin the illusion.

Perhaps I should just start saying, "Damn right that's me.  Thanks for noticing!"

I just cut my hair, got a nose job and started wearing really dark blue contacts...