Hooters' Weekend Champion of Awesome

Not made for me, but should have been.  CREDIT

I just gave myself an award.  It’s the “Hooters' Weekend Champion of Awesome” award and I totally earned the shit out of it.  As usual, I was scheduled Saturday and Sunday dayshifts and did my thing slinging wings and beers like nobody’s business.  Being as it was one of the biggest weekends of the spring due to several different large events going on, including a large rugby tournament called Maggotfest (seriously look that up), a brewfest and a three day college rodeo, we expected to be busy.  And we were.  I was ready to make some money.

I got my wish.  But the reason wasn’t just because we were busy.  The reason I was because getting drunk – an annual hallmark of this particular weekend – was more important than working for more than one of our girls.  Without getting into all the messy details, several girls ended up not showing up and throwing everyone else under the bus.  A bus that’s simultaneously burst into flames and had total break failure.  Calls were frantically made and in end the options were few.  So I did what I had to do and put on my big girl shorts and put in a double.  And I didn’t do that once.  I did that twice.  Saturday and Sunday.

The best part is, it was tiring, but I actually liked doing all that work.  This either means I really love my job or makes me insane.  Or likely both.

Really though, the coolest part was that I had a first on Saturday evening as I was juggling a 15 top in addition to a nearly full section.  As I was introducing myself to a table of three, one of the guys stopped me.

“Wait, you’re Sauce?  Do you write that awesome blog?!”

In over two years of writing on, I have never had anyone recognize me at work – which is actually mildly surprising.  Not only was a recognized, he went on to tell the couple with him that reading my blog was a must and he’d forward it to them.  I was incredibly flattered.  My coolest table of the night had made my week.  And then they left me a 50% tip.  For that I love you.  Seriously.

Give me a sign if you’re reading this.  Like a cyber high five or something.

So if anyone else wants to come in and tell me how wonderful I am, I work pretty much all the time.  I’ll even give you a free soda.  Just don’t tell my boss.  He’ll really miss that $2.79.

Also, to the gentleman who came in and left me the note, silver dollar and chocolates, thanks for coming in to see me.  Sorry I wasn’t in that day, Hope you had fun and happy birthday!

To Working Doubles

We don't do doubles.  It has long been a rule that at Hooters of Missoula that a girl will only work one shift a day.  I'm not really sure why this is, but I think it might have something to do with the fact that most girls can't be truly hooterrific for more than five to six hours at a time.  Just think about being that peppy and happy and nice for ten or more hours while drunks and entitled bitches harass the shit right out of you.  Yeah, that doesn't sound too fun does it?

Of course sometimes - like tomorrow - college homecoming and UFC decide to happen on the same day.  This means two things:

1)  Every collegiate bitch at Hooters will request the day off to get wasted and pretend to give two shits about football.  I understand.  I've been there.  The difference is I legitimately do care about football and actually understand the rules.  But whatever, I had my college experience.  Knock 'em dead, ladies.

2)  Girls not taking the day off to be wasted - which is most - will avoid UFC like the plague.  This is because UFC means you will either make a shitload of money or no money at all - the latter being all too common.  This will depend on your section, which are always small on UFC nights, and who sits in said section.  If you get one or more tables of teenagers in your five to six table section you are totally screwed.  They will all order waters and ten boneless wings for twelve people to split.  It pretty much rocks.

So what happens when a gillion people request the day off?  It means that you might end up working an elusive double.  And by might end up, I really mean that out of the entire staff of Hooters Girls I am the only one working a double.  I think this might be because I am most excellent at always being happy.  And I totally rock my job.

Yup, I'll be at Hooters from 10 a.m. until midnight or maybe even later.  I'm hoping it will give me lots to write about.  I'm also hoping that I will be swimming in money just like Uncle McScrooge.  You know, McSrooge from "DuckTales" only without the funny accent and live-in nephews.  That's a nice visual.