"No Social Media"

A few weeks ago I got an email from a fellow Hooters Girl.  She began by saying that she had come across my blog while looking for tips on applying at Hooters.  Evidentially, I am a most superior job coach because she went in knowing to expect and got the job.  I'm currently accepting more clients if you're interested.  Anyway, after letting me know I'm pretty much amazing, the Hooters Girl went on to say that she is currently a first year law student at University of Oklahoma.  I was immediately intrigued.

"When I decided to go to law school, everyone had advice on how to take tests, which supplements to read, but no one reminded me to always stay true to myself and be proud of who I am. I took and still take a lot of heat from classmates because not everyone appreciates that I enjoy getting dressed up for class and that I'm not ashamed of my side job. But I am proud of it and have learned how important it is to hold my head high!"

Guest post!  Guest post!  GUEST POST!!!  Epic, sweet content opportunity!  So I did what any good blogger would do and invited her to write a guest post about her experiences as a law school student and a Hooters Girl.  And then I got this:

"I apologize that it took me so long to reply, but I really have been thinking about the opportunity you suggested. The problem is that the store I work at has a pretty strict "NO SOCIAL MEDIA" policy. I also think that if someone I went to school with ever somehow found it, it would make my life at school more awful then it currently is."

Apparently it's a no social media
social media strategy...

The school part I totally understand, but I was actually a lot more interested in the "NO SOCIAL MEDIA" part.  It is fairly common in a lot of restaurants (and pretty much any type of business) to have similar policies that restrict employees’ use of social media.  Out here in the vicious wilderness that is the Internet you never know what anyone is really saying about you.  Of course that's only until some major media outlet or Tosh.0 gets a hold of it.  Then the whole world knows whether what you're saying is flattering or not.

And that the real reason for these types of rules; employers are worried about the negative things they imagine their workers would say about them if they were given the chance.  What better place to get your word out about how much your boss sucks than the Internet?  Here everyone will listen to you and ruin your asshat boss's sorry little life.  Of course it's rarely really like that.

What all these "no social media" people don't realize is that while anyone can say those things, not everyone is going to read them.  But of course they could - isn't that effing scary.  Let's be honest though, when your neighbor is complaining yet again about his awful job at your barbeque you're probably drowning him out.  So why is the Internet any different?  I suppose the only difference is that said boss can finally find out about everything you're saying.  And isn't that just embarrassing.

But lets put all that aside and look at the bigger picture.  Social media IS one of the best ways to reach your customers.  And even better than the vast reach is the fact that social media is free.  So why all those employers are worried about Bobby call them a "stupid douche," they're actually missing out on one of their best opportunities to connect with their client base. 

This very blog is a prime example of social media.  Yeah, I've said a few negative things, but overall this is hardly the tone of my blog.  I responsibly write about my experiences and what's it like to actually live the life that I live and amazingly people appreciate it.  People read it and respond.  They write comments and send emails.  And guess what, they even get off the couch, drive to Hooters and spend their money there.  Yes, Hooters makes money because I decided to write this blog.  And they don't have to pay a dime for it.

That's the thing, social media works.  It makes people money and it does so because it's personal and dynamic and timely.  It's a message that comes from real people, having real experiences, in real time rather than something glossy and perfect from the screen of a TV or the pages of a magazine.  Social media isn't advertising, it's real life, word of mouth.  And if all those marketing classes taught me one thing it's that word of mouth is the best form of advertising there is.  The fact is, people believe other people and social media is an amazing way of making that connection happen.

Obviously, I don't believe in "no social media" policies.  While I understand that idea is to protect business, I firmly believe that it hurts it much more.  Yes, if you leave people to say what they want you will encounter negative comments.  But what about all the good things?  In fearing the negative you are also forced to forgo the vast positive.  And if we're really going to get down it, if you have a positive environment and treat your employees well aren't they going to be saying good things anyway?

I firmly believe in social media.  I believe that it's where every business should be if they really want to make an immediate mark on their customers.  After all you, dear reader, found your way here.  Isn't social media beautiful?

The Waitlist, the Flu and Hooters Trivia

Yesterday, as I was sending my weekly trivia questions to my manager, I got an email saying I was wait-listed at my top law school choice.  Needless to say, I was devastated.  I was devastated and I had to go be cute and bubbly as a trivia host for three hours.  It was not a fun time.  Luckily, I am allowed to wear my hair up and throw my glasses on for trivia - fits in with the whole school girl theme we have you know?  So I trudged into work, looking like shit.  Naturally everyone noticed and there I was trying to explain what happened as even the mention of the words "law school" immediately brought me to tears.  Simplified, the night sucked before it even started.

Of course, it couldn't end there.  That would be nice and only mostly devastating.  Instead, my email decided to be a fuck and not send my trivia.  So I had to run home (which is luckily extremely close) and send it again.  This required opening my email, which forced me to see that stupid effing email again that screamed "you suck, but not enough for us to totally reject you".  It's like that boyfriend that doesn't totally dump you, but ignores you sort of until you go away.  You know the type.  It then took my email FIVE DAMN MINUTES to send a simple Word file.  All while that email laughed in my face.  Thank you, cruel irony!

So, I sped back to work realizing I was very glad I hadn't worn eyeliner.  Of course when I got to Hooters the internet was down.  They couldn't receive my email.  Note to self, purchase a printer.  Again I rushed home, this time grabbing my laptop and flying out the door.  I did not open my email.

Finally trivia got underway roughly 43 minutes late.  I was clearly an impressive hostess.  Actually, given the circumstances I was a damn good hostess.  I even got tipped $20.  I never get tipped for trivia.  In over a year of trivia, I have not been tipped once.  So to the man in the red shirt, I thank you.  While the tip made my night, the pain in my stomach did not.  I'd been feeling pained for the past day or so and assumed it was nerves relating to my impending law school notification.  I ignored it, finished trivia and went home to sleep off my awful evening.

Today, after a fitful night sleep, I woke begrudgingly and began to get ready for week.  Still my stomach hated me.  Along with my general sense of failure.  I was not even close to hooterific.  I tried desperately to remember what a wise woman from Hooters Corporate once told me,  "Put it all in a shit and leave that shit at the door.  Drop off your shit and you can pick it up when you leave."  But this shit was unrelenting.  It stuck right to my shoe and wouldn't let go.  Hooterific was an impossibility.

Luckily, it was slow and, understanding why I was in a desperate funk, my manager sent me home after only a few tables.  I was relieved.  But my stomach was not.  Getting home I suddenly realized that my stomach was perhaps more than nerves as my protein shake from a few hours before returned with a vengeance.  My shit that I couldn't leave at the door had multiplied into full blown, both ends, angry, vertical hating stomach flu.  Life delivered the final low blow.

So here I am on the couch, feeling like a failure, running to the bathroom every few minutes and wishing that my sister had a car so she could bring me some ginger ale.  I am not a happy camper.  I am however happy that I used my tax return on a couch.  Good foresight.

The LSAT

I've been getting a few emails on how the LSAT went.  Basically, it fried my brain.  It fried my brain so much that as I was driving home I felt as if I was drunk.  I was honestly worried about being pulled over and having to explain that I had not been drinking but rather had been wasting my brain away with logic problems.  It's probably a really common mix up.

Beyond feeling wasted, it left me feeling worried.  You see the hardest section for me and most LSAT takers came last of five sections.  This killed me.  Before opening my test book I had fingers crossed that it came first.  I wanted my brain to be fresh.  I wanted to get it out of the way.  Mostly I wanted them to forget to put that section in my test book.  That didn't happen.  None of that happened.  It came last.  I wanted to cry.  I really feel like I rocked the first four sections.  In fact they felt beyond easy.  I was like an LSAT pro.  Then that last section came along and laughed at my confidence.  It mocked my preparation.  It devoured me whole.  I'm pretty sure when all was said and done I completely bombed it.  I left feeling humbled and dejected.  I was scared.

Then I got my score back and low and behold I didn't totally suck!  I mean, it wasn't what I'd hope, but I wasn't a total lack of space.  I wasn't the Hooters Girl does law school joke.  I got a decent 156.  YAY!  Yeah, I'd hopped for 160 or above, but 156 should get me into the law school here with my GPA.  Hopefully.  I'm still nervous as hell.  I'm still curious what my score would have been had I not guessed on half of the logic games section.  That is unfortunately something I will never know.  That is lost to the gods of the LSATS for eternity.  Now I just hope they let me into law school.

Study, Study, Study

I figure that I owe you all an apology.  I said I would be better at posting.  For awhile I actually was better at posting even.  Then suddenly I wasn't so good on posting.  Shame, shame on me.  But back it up.  This time I have the most legit of legitimate reasons.  You see I am scheduled to endure man hours of torture on February 6, 2010.  I have officially signed up for the LSAT.

So basically I have been studying my ass off.  When I am not studying my ass off I am working my ass off.  When I am doing neither of those things I am skiing my ass off in a - so far - painful attempt to break in my sick new boots.  Obviously, with the loss of my ass times three, I am left with little time and ass for bloggage.  Don't worry though, on February 8, 2010 (duh February 7, 2010 is reserved for football, unless the Cowboys make the Superbowl...in that case they can suck it) I'll replace all that study time with blog time.  This means a lot of potential blogging.  Lucky us!

In the meantime, tide yourself over with photo of my awesomeness.

That's right, some of the best service they ever had.  And that was from a woman my friends.  A woman is about a gillion times harder to please at Hooters than a man - this is a fact of life.

Hooters Girl Does Law School

"So basically, I've come to the decision to attend law school next year," I say, ending the usual spiel on my life plan.  Generally, the conversation begins with "you must be a student here at the University" and ends with me regaling my guests about how patent law really is totally awesome.  Then one of two things happens.  Either I am praised for my amazing foresight for future job security or I am laughed at.

"Now that is a great joke, Hooters Girl does law school!"

While I'm struggling to smile and say, "No really, that's my aspiration," most of me wants to kick the crap out of my close-minded, stereotyping, douche bag excuse for a customer.  You see, this has not happened once or twice, but enough times to make me feel like I'm living the real life version of "Legally Blonde."  However, rather than pink I get to wear glaring orange and I'm not going to law school with the goal to get back my frat boyfriend - I will gladly accept the hot yet smart law student falling for me in the end though.  Oh, and I'm not blonde.  But if "Legally Blonde" taught me anything it's that I too can overcome adversity and of course rely on the "bend and snap" for all my man hunting needs.  Thank you Reese Witherspoon.

All jokes aside, I find it utterly ridiculous that my job as a Hooters Girl somehow discredits my ability to become a lawyer.  Apparently, there is no such thing as a smart Hooters Girl.  If all Hooters Girls are attractive and stupid and I am a Hooters Girl then it can be logically deducted that not only am I reasonably attractive and stupid, but that girls that are attractive must also be stupid (forgive the logical reasoning thinking, studying for the LSATS is getting into my everyday life).  It seems that God or Buddha or Zeus or whoever handed out a bunch of sex appeal and a bunch of brains, but no one got both.  Sorry, I guess I double dipped.  I wasn't the only one.

My question is, why is a girl that is both beautiful and intelligent such a foreign concept?  Obviously, the answer is that it is possible for a girl to be both smart and pretty.  In fact, there are tons of girls that have killer looks and scored a perfect score on the analogies section of the SATs (go me!).  Yes, a girl can be hot and intellectual.  If this is the case, we are then led to question why a smart Hooters Girl is such a joke.  Evidently, it is assumed by some that all those smart pretty girls avoid Hooters like the plague.  All the smart pretty girls stay away and Hooters is left with a bunch of dimwitted, hot chicks that luckily know enough to sling in orders and scrunch their socks just so.  Smart girls don't demean themselves by working at, *GASP*, Hooters.  This of course is boldfaced lie.

While there are ditzy Hooters Girls, it is my belief that the vast majority are far more intelligent than they receive credit for.  For example, at my Hooters nearly 100% of the girls are in or have completed some or all of college.  Yes, I am one of these girls.  Not only do I don the famous orange shorts, I do so backed by a BS in Marketing.  Am I ashamed to be a Hooters Girl with a degree?  Not in the slightest.  You see, after graduating I did have a marketing job.  I worked at the corporate level for a Mongolian grill franchise doing marketing and design.  I made a lousy $10.50 an hour and I hated it.  Then I was laid off, a victim of that whole "last hired, first fired" thing.  Even at $10.50 an hour they couldn't afford to pay me in the current economy and they let me go.  So I found my way to Hooters.  Not only do I have a job that I love, I make tons more doing it and I've still had the ability to put my degree to work.  No, I'm not talking about marketing myself (cliché shit I've heard before); I'm talking about helping market my Hooters restaurant through social media and innovative marketing techniques.  Yeah, Hooters let me do that.  Hooters let me be pretty and smart.  Oh, and news flash, being smart and witty at Hooters has a direct correlation to the tips I make.  I guess being smart really does pay.

Now I want to be that pretty and smart girl that goes to law school.  I want to be a Hooters Girl and a law student and be proud that I'm doing both.  In fact it is my belief that Hooters will help me immensely in my law school experience because Hooters teaches you about people.  Hooters teaches you to read people like a book and interact based on such observations.  Hooters teaches you about life.  So next time someone asks me if being a Hooters Girl is respectable position for a future law student (yes, that really happened) I will say what I always say: Yes.  See you on Capitol Hill.  Elle Woods and I will see you there in Legally Blonde 2.Ho