Seriously (Once) Future Roommates?!

I just got back from a movie with Asian Marine and a few friends.  I made sure to skip dinner so I could enjoy my usual whole bag of popcorn.  Seriously, I have a sick addiction.  If you take me to a movie and don't get me popcorn I will probably have a temper tantrum or - more likely - vault myself over the counter to swim in that giant bin of salty, buttery, popcorny goodness.  Luckily, I was allowed my popcorn and even splurged on a Diet Coke.  As a single girl who doesn't see to many movies in the theater, I was in popcorn laden, cinematic heaven. 

Then of course the movie started and ended up being a mild suckfest.  We decided to see "Get Him to The Greek" and I have to say it was one of those movies that looked awesome in the preview but was totally disappointing as a full-length feature.  So lame.  Don't get me wrong it was funny.  I laughed.  I generally enjoyed myself.  But it seemed to me that it totally failed to live up to its comedic potential.  There's $8.50 + $11.75 for buttery bliss and bubble drink well spent.

Moral:  Save this one for the RedBox

So first two paragraphs aside, the real point of my story is that dear Asian Marine is in fact not going to be my roommate.  Ariel is also not going to be my roommate.  This disappointing turn of events was due to lots of things that I don't care to type about and you probably don't care to read.  Basically, all we need to know is that I am currently roommateless with a mere fifteen days until my impending homelessness.  Yeah, I got some things lined up on the roommate/home front, but it seems blogging has in the past been the kiss of death for my living situations.  As such I am keeping this sensitive information confidential so I don't anger the blogging gods.  Please don't smite me mighty rulers of the blogosphere.

Oh and because everyone is pretending to like soccer (and some of us ACTUALLY DO), Holland won their game against Denmark.  I'm sure my dad was watching it with beer in hand in the wee hours of the morning.  Seriously, he's Dutch, that's practically required.  And thanks for that self-goal Denmark.  I mean we didn't need it to win, but it made you look silly so that's nice.

Seriously I Have to Move AGAIN?!

So it's about that time when I have to start thinking about moving again.  I find this to be incredibly lame.  Mainly because I feel like I'm moving every moment.  While that's obviously an incredible exaggeration, I have moved two times - soon to be three - in the last year.  This is obviously ridiculous.  But my life seems to be in some constant state of crazy unrest that is drawn to things like constant moving.  Dear life, get it together!

At least this time I'm not being forced to move by things like my landlord breaking up with his live in girlfriend.  This time I've just decided that I'm tired of living alone and even more tired of spending lots of money to do so.  Actually, I like living alone, but it's that whole lots of bills and lots of money being spent that I don't like.  Can I easily afford to stay here?  For sure.  Do I want to afford to stay here?  Hell no.  I mean essentially I pay $600 (not including utilities) to live in a glorified hotel room.  I don't think this is O.K.

My lease will be up at the end of June and once again I find myself looking for alternate housing.  I considered moving back in with Cor and the boys, but since that living situation brought on an epic mystery illness (which I don't think I ever wrote about, but involved lots of horrible coughing with no discernable cause for over seven months) I'm very leery of moving back in.  I think it's pretty logical that said mystery illness was caused by something in and around that house given that within two weeks of moving the cough was suddenly gone.  I can't take the chance that it resulted from one of their dogs or something.

Anyway, where all of that blabbering has led me is to say that Ariel and I are planning on moving in together and testing the bonds of best friendship.  Up until this point we have avoided moving in together as we have both seen too many friendship torn apart over shared housing.  But seeing as we spend nearly every waking minute together anyway it seems rather logical.  We both feel that the time has come that we are both ready for this.  If I didn't already know what I was talking about I'd think I was moving in with a guy.  But I'm not.  We all know I have horrible luck in the relationship department.

Yes, Ariel and I are moving in and letting our good friend Asian Marine in on the deal.  Holy shit, did I just introduce another effing character today?!  Fuck yes I did!  I rock!  I'm just gonna jump out on a limb here and guess that you know two things about Asian Marine.  He's Asian and he's a marine.  How did you know?  Now I wouldn't generally be as obvious to blatantly point out that he is Asian, but this is Montana and Asians here aren't too common.  Actually, I'm pretty sure if you go to the China Buffet you can see the majority of the state's Asian population.  Seriously.  Plus when I met him one of the first thing he said was, "Would someone break the ice and making a fucking Asian joke already?!"  I loved this and knew we should be friends immediately.  And he loves my legs; who doesn't love someone who constantly compliments?

Ariel, Asian Marine and I.  I CAN'T EFFING WAIT.

Moving Time - Again

I am about to be homeless in twelve days.  That's right, homeless.  No, I am not being evicted and I am not a bad tenant.  The situation is much more depressing (or much more humorous depending on how you look at it) than that.  Let me start by saying that my current lease is not so much a lease as a month-to-month "agreement".  Let me also state that I totally and completely love my current living situation.  Yes, the whole thing is most unfortunate indeed.

My landlord has been in a long-term relationship for the past several years.  Now one may wonder what my landlord's personal life has to do with my living situation.  In fact, his personal life seems to have a lot to do with my living situation.  You see, on Halloween, my landlord and his girlfriend decided that enough was enough and they would no longer be seeing each other.  It just so happens they live together.  You can probably see the issue here.  So on the first of November we were told we had until the first of December to relocate.  Well actually, the two of us on the main floor were told to relocate and the two in the basement can continue to inhabit the house - lucky them!  Suddenly, that whole "convenient" month-to-month thing doesn't seem so convenient.

So what's a girl to do?  Play "Parent Trap" and get my landlord back together with his ladylove?  Move in with the other displaced roommate you say?  Nope, Cor is moving in with his parents and I am certainly not Hayley Mills or Lindsey Lohan (even in her cute, innocent, nonlesbian years).  So the two downstairs have a place to live and Cor has a place to live.  Shit, that leaves me in a dire predicament.  After asking, looking, crying and begging it seems that finding a place to live is less than easy.  A lot of this has to do with the fact that I am in a college town and it is the middle of the semester.  Basically, no one is moving right now so openings are few and far between.  On top of few openings, those that are available are either shit holes or way out of my price range.  I'd live in a shit hole, but because I'm looking at studios and will be living alone it seems less than prudent to live in an apartment with a door that would be no match for a toddler with a sandbox shovel.  Just my thoughts.

Then today I found the perfect little place.  Light, airy, cute and all utilities included.  I walked back into the property management company totally relieved as I requested to put in an application.

"Oh yeah, um, I forgot to tell you before I gave you that key, but some girl is already pretty much renting it.  She just has to bring her deposit in before closing today.  Basically that's like nine-tenths rented pretty much."

Mother effing douche fuck.  Sweet, that information would have been really great before I'd imagined how cute my antique, green velvet sofa would look against the west wall.  Thank you so freaking much for that consideration.

So if posting stops suddenly in December you'll know why.  I don't have wireless Internet in my car after all.

Moving

I hate moving. I especially hate moving when I've been made a mute by some hellish illness that has been utterly dominating the shit out of me. Lugging mattresses and swallowing fire is not a happy combination and has resulted in causing me to be quite cranky. Add the loss of my voice - and with it the ability to complain - and quite cranky quickly evolves into PMS worthy bitchiness. Needless to say, I am eagerly anticipating a three day weekend. God Bless America.

So please forgive the lack of posting. My posts would probably be so incredibly dripping with my usual sarcasm that you'd have to carry a weed whacker or machete just to get through them. You can thank me for my consideration if you like.

On a lighter note I did meet a guy who's favorite word is plethora. I have been in word love with plethora since junior high. Perhaps this is a match made in vocabulary heaven.

House for Rent

I’ll be moving in the end of June and if my past issues with one of my roommates are any indication, it’s a very good thing. Here’s the thing, I am a very laid back person. In fact I’d go so far as to use the cliché, “I’m probably one of the most laid back people you’ll ever meet.” The thing is, that cliché describes me quite accurately. This is one of the reasons why I have decided to give up on living with girls and move into a house full of boys.

OK, flashback to exactly one year ago. What was I doing a year ago? Well, besides enjoying being very recently graduated, I was just moving out of a house full of big, burly, football playing boys. I loved living with these guys, they were my friends and my brothers and the type of guys that would stand arms crossed on the front steps when any guy came to pick me up from the house. So the obvious question is why did I ever move? Well one of these football-playing boys happened to be really, really good at being a football-playing boy and was signed to the Dolphins. Needless to say, that was the end of my wonderful living situation.

So then I moved in with girls – not just one or two, but four girls. Now, these were the type of girls that say they hate drama but really they need to be the center of it all times to keep functioning. Long story short, I missed my boys very dearly. Yes, the boys were a lot messier and I did more than my fair share of cleaning, but I’d take two hours scrubbing a filthy bathroom over stupid girls any day.

And that, my dear readers, is why as of June 30th I will be happily living with three guys again. The best part of all of this is that thus far my new roommates have gone above and beyond to make me feel welcome. I haven’t even moved in yet and already they have cooked me dinner twice with no expectation of reciprocation. Now part of me thinks these niceties may just be to get a girl that likes to clean and happens to have bakers for parents, who create delicious treats for a living, to move in, but I’ll still take free steak dinners while they last.

Talk to me in a month and we’ll see how much cleaning I’ve already done. Give me a dirty toilet over the mess of she said, she said drama and I’ll happily scrub away.