Seriously (Once) Future Roommates?!

I just got back from a movie with Asian Marine and a few friends.  I made sure to skip dinner so I could enjoy my usual whole bag of popcorn.  Seriously, I have a sick addiction.  If you take me to a movie and don't get me popcorn I will probably have a temper tantrum or - more likely - vault myself over the counter to swim in that giant bin of salty, buttery, popcorny goodness.  Luckily, I was allowed my popcorn and even splurged on a Diet Coke.  As a single girl who doesn't see to many movies in the theater, I was in popcorn laden, cinematic heaven. 

Then of course the movie started and ended up being a mild suckfest.  We decided to see "Get Him to The Greek" and I have to say it was one of those movies that looked awesome in the preview but was totally disappointing as a full-length feature.  So lame.  Don't get me wrong it was funny.  I laughed.  I generally enjoyed myself.  But it seemed to me that it totally failed to live up to its comedic potential.  There's $8.50 + $11.75 for buttery bliss and bubble drink well spent.

Moral:  Save this one for the RedBox

So first two paragraphs aside, the real point of my story is that dear Asian Marine is in fact not going to be my roommate.  Ariel is also not going to be my roommate.  This disappointing turn of events was due to lots of things that I don't care to type about and you probably don't care to read.  Basically, all we need to know is that I am currently roommateless with a mere fifteen days until my impending homelessness.  Yeah, I got some things lined up on the roommate/home front, but it seems blogging has in the past been the kiss of death for my living situations.  As such I am keeping this sensitive information confidential so I don't anger the blogging gods.  Please don't smite me mighty rulers of the blogosphere.

Oh and because everyone is pretending to like soccer (and some of us ACTUALLY DO), Holland won their game against Denmark.  I'm sure my dad was watching it with beer in hand in the wee hours of the morning.  Seriously, he's Dutch, that's practically required.  And thanks for that self-goal Denmark.  I mean we didn't need it to win, but it made you look silly so that's nice.

The Best Text Message of All Time

Last night, in the middle of a drunken friend to sober friend text conversation, I received what is quite possibly the best text of my whole life. That’s right, out of thousands and thousands of messages from my lifetime I have hands down received a text the likes of which I will never receive again. My texting life is utterly complete – but never over.

My roommate to be, who is basically the male version of me, was drinking in celebration of his impending departure for Europe (lucky) and I was lying in bed finishing my book (loser). He was regaling me with tales of playing beer pong with a wedding party and two possible lesbians when he sent me a text that will forever remain locked in my phone.

P.S. Ur legs make me believe in God

I love my legs. I love my 37 inch inseam. I love short shorts. Apparently I am not the only one to appreciate these facts. Apparently, these facts have not only been appreciated, but appreciated biblically. AWESOME. My legs and I can’t wait to move in.

House for Rent

I’ll be moving in the end of June and if my past issues with one of my roommates are any indication, it’s a very good thing. Here’s the thing, I am a very laid back person. In fact I’d go so far as to use the cliché, “I’m probably one of the most laid back people you’ll ever meet.” The thing is, that cliché describes me quite accurately. This is one of the reasons why I have decided to give up on living with girls and move into a house full of boys.

OK, flashback to exactly one year ago. What was I doing a year ago? Well, besides enjoying being very recently graduated, I was just moving out of a house full of big, burly, football playing boys. I loved living with these guys, they were my friends and my brothers and the type of guys that would stand arms crossed on the front steps when any guy came to pick me up from the house. So the obvious question is why did I ever move? Well one of these football-playing boys happened to be really, really good at being a football-playing boy and was signed to the Dolphins. Needless to say, that was the end of my wonderful living situation.

So then I moved in with girls – not just one or two, but four girls. Now, these were the type of girls that say they hate drama but really they need to be the center of it all times to keep functioning. Long story short, I missed my boys very dearly. Yes, the boys were a lot messier and I did more than my fair share of cleaning, but I’d take two hours scrubbing a filthy bathroom over stupid girls any day.

And that, my dear readers, is why as of June 30th I will be happily living with three guys again. The best part of all of this is that thus far my new roommates have gone above and beyond to make me feel welcome. I haven’t even moved in yet and already they have cooked me dinner twice with no expectation of reciprocation. Now part of me thinks these niceties may just be to get a girl that likes to clean and happens to have bakers for parents, who create delicious treats for a living, to move in, but I’ll still take free steak dinners while they last.

Talk to me in a month and we’ll see how much cleaning I’ve already done. Give me a dirty toilet over the mess of she said, she said drama and I’ll happily scrub away.

The Fight

I would like to start by saying that I am probably the easiest person to get along with in the world. I literally like everyone, even the people no one else gets along with. I guess I'm just the sort of optimistic person that finds the good in everyone. There is however one person I have been unable to find that good in - my roommate.

First, I think it's important for my story today to give you a little background on our household dynamic. I live with five other roommates, yes I said five. Now what makes this this tolerable is the fact that we live in a huge house; I'm talking five bedrooms, two kitchens, three living rooms big. All of my roommates including myself have graduated college and two of them are engaged to be married this summer. There is however one outlier, we'll call her RK.

RK is a student at our local tech school and she was one of those last minute sort of roommates that you get when you need a room filled fast. Having just turned 21, RK is younger than all of the rest of the roommates and it shows. At first none of us really minded her. She was loud constantly, brought home guys a lot, and wasn't the most considerate person but we all equated this to her being young and let it be. Well after awhile it came to our attention that this girl talks about everyone and not the nice sort of talk but the sort that is so negative that half of it isn't even real. There are certain people that thrive on gossip and drama whether it pertains to them or not and RK is certainly one of those girls.

Several months later it become incredibly apparently that not only was she talking to all of us about various "friends" of her's (which I became expert at toning out) but RK was also talking to others about all of us roommates. Not only was she talking, but making things up that were incredibly hurtful. She even fed lies to us about each other, pitting us against each other when there was nothing for us to fight about in the first place. RK had gotten into everyone's heads and exerted a control I believe she loved. The way she is has nothing to do with being young but honestly being an evil, hurtful person.

Obvisouly all of this is incredibly paraphrased and censored, but the fact is that all of it came to a huge breaking point. After all of us deciding RK had to be talked to after we were told she was talking bad about us by several people I hardly even know, we sat down to have a family meeting last night. We cautiously confronted RK about her various behavior, especially her addiction to drama. Well RK didn't take this too well and became instantly defensive, simultaneously spewing lies about us while saying she's never talked about anyone ever. That's the thing with RK, I honestly believe she talks about people so much she doesn't even realize it anymore - it's that ingrained into the person she is.

We all let her talk and let it roll off of our backs and made our points known. Then she said something that cut me deeper than anything anyone has ever said to me. RK made hateful comments about my parents who she has never even met. This is when with no self-control I flew at her. I had never fought anyone until the very moment when I began dragging her back down the stairs by her hair (and that really happened). Several flying punches and bleeding noses later my roommates pulled us apart and she promptly said she was moving out which was both started and completed last night.

I find it interesting that my roommates let me get in a few punches before pulling us apart. Later they even said they have wanted to hit RK countless times. Funny that as probably the least confrontational of all us I was finally the one to do it. But as good as it felt I did feel incredibly bad. I am just not the sort of person to take things to a physically harmful level and as such I apologized to her. I told RK that I meant every word that I had said, I owned up to being frustrated and annoyed and even disliking her, but I apologized for getting physical and coming at her. She never apologized for anything. So she's moved out and honestly today I feel as if a weight has been lifted from me - we all feel like that. The drama is gone and I couldn't be happier even with a swollen face.

Oh and by the way, RK is the same roommate who talked shit about one of my fellow Hooters Girls and broke my $2000 laptop I told you about before. So here's to you RK, grow the eff up because the real world is going to kick you hard in the ass someday and it may not make you bleed like I did, but it'll hurt a lot worse - trust me