Paychecks or Piercings

When training, sometimes things just don’t work out.  You’ll have a girl who comes in and almost from the beginning you can tell she won’t last long.  The fact of the matter is that some girls just aren’t cut out to be Hooters Girls.  Usually girls will make it through training and few shifts and then they’ll simply stop showing up.  Or there are the times when they don’t make it through training at all.  Either way it’s an awful lot of wasted effort for everyone involved.

Our last trainee had a hard time from the beginning.  In fact she had such a hard time that she only lasted one training shift.  Yes, only shift.  Now generally this wouldn’t really be blogworthy.  After all, this is isn’t the first time a girl has quit so quickly.  This time it wasn’t the outcome that was so surprising, but rather the reason.

She didn’t quit because it was hard or she was uncomfortable or she was overwhelmed.  She quit over a facial piercing and her recently manicured fingers.  Seriously.

I think I like her makeup best.  CREDIT.

Hooters has a rather strict policy on the way you present yourself at work.  This includes no facial piercings and French manicures only among a myriad of other things.  This trainee had a lip ring and a set of deep red nails.  Upon arriving for her first shift, she was told she’d have to remove her lip ring and that she’d also have to change her nails within the next few days due to Hooters’ image policies – policies she’d been made aware of when hired.

“But I haven’t taken my lip ring out in like two years!”

“I just got my nails done yesterday!”

She hemmed and hawed and complained and finally begrudgingly took out her lip ring.  She went through her shift and that’s the last we saw her.  So a manager called inquiring as to her missing her second training shift.  It was at this time she informed the manager she didn’t want to take out her lip ring for a job.  She’d take the jewelry over a paycheck.

Now I realize that Hooters is strict when it comes to image, but most restaurants – and even many other jobs in general – have a similar policy when it comes to facial piercings.  Hooters is definitely in the majority as far as not allowing metal all up in your business.  I mean I have a nose piercing and I’ve never thought twice about taking that shit out and getting my ass to work.  Call me crazy, but I’d much rather have a job than a bedazzled face.  If you don’t have income how do you expect to buy that cubic zirconia lip stud you’ve had your eye on?

All I know is that this little lady is probably going to have a rude awakening when she goes to apply for her next job and – nine times out of ten – they ask her remove her lip ring.  This is the real world and the real world doesn’t like metal faces.  It’s sad, but oh so true.  I have the hole in my left nostril to prove it.

The New Girl's Boyfriend

Over three years ago I began my job at Hooters.  Now three years is an awful long time, but even now one question stands out from my interview.

“Do you have a boyfriend or husband who would be jealous or uncomfortable with you working at Hooters?”

While that question would seem odd in most interview situations, it’s fairly understandable in an atmosphere like Hooters.  At the time, I got to say no and luckily I can still say no – though now just in regards to the second part – to this day.  This weekend however I got a front row seat to why that question, and an honest answer, is oh so important.

Saturday, we had a new girl on her second day of training.  She seemed like a good hire which given recent trend was rather refreshing.  She was inquisitive, helpful, friendly and actually studied for her tests.  No on ever studies for their tests no matter how many times I reassure them that they are actually hard.  Believe it or not I’m not lying to you when I say that it’s difficult.  And yes, I do take a slight amount of pleasure when you fail.  I did warn your ass after all.

Anyway, this girl – even on only her second day – seemed to me like a great Hooters Girl in the making.  Of course she just had to go and prove me wrong.  Or more specifically her creepy, clearly overbearing boyfriend decided to prove me wrong.  He just had to ruin the fun for everyone.  Douche.

New girl comes in, we set up the restaurant in record time and things are going well.  We’re ready way before opening at eleven because we’re totally awesome.  By the time we unlock the doors we’re ready to go and apparently so are the football fans; as soon as the doors are open people come streaming in.  Tables are quickly sat and drinks are run.  It’s a typical NFL Sunday and new girl is handling it like a champ.  I mentally add that to the list of things that will make her good at her job.

This is less creepy than what actually happened.

Then she gets weird.  She goes from bubbly to quite so quickly I think she’s gotten sick.  Suddenly something is wrong and it’s glaringly obvious.  Scanning the restaurant it’s apparent that the “something” is a single customer sipping a soda and intently staring at our newest trainee.  It is a powerful, disconcerting stare and even without being directed at me, makes me uncomfortable.  He watches her every move from her interactions with tables to the dumping a plate of leftovers into the garbage.  It’s all weird as eff.

“That’s her boyfriend or fiancé or whatever,” remarks the girl who’s directly training her today.  “He was here on her first shift too just hanging out and watching her work.  It’s so uncomfortable and awkward.”

And it was uncomfortable and awkward.  Especially when he started shooting the “I love you” sign at her across the room shaking his hand until she took notice.  That’s when enough was enough and my manager went to talk with him.  After a few minutes of talking, the boyfriend got up and left.  Finally.

Things returned to normal. Until he came back and found his way to my bar.  He took a spot in the corner and continued his staring.  Eventually, as I was putting in an order, he turned to me.

“Is it against the rules for you girls to flirt or something?”

I wasn’t really sure where he was going with the question, but I told him that while there was no rule against it, flirting wasn’t really acceptable but that often people take our good service and kindness for flirting.  Suddenly I found myself on the receiving end of him validating his reason for being there.  For a while I just let him go.

“You know,” I said eventually, “you really don’t need to justify anything to me.  And while it’s not technically against any rules for you to be here, it seems to be making your girlfriend really uncomfortable.  I mean don’t you think it makes it a little hard for her to do her job with you hanging around?  I promise nothing is going to happen to her while she’s at work today, but honestly it may if you keep doing this.  Our owner really doesn’t like boyfriends hanging around and I don’t think you want to put the job she just started in jeopardy.  I’ve seen people let go for far less.”

He thought about all that for second and again tried to justify why he was there.  I realized then it was a lost cause.  This guy was a controlling boyfriend in every sense of the word and nothing I was going to say would change that.

The next day, the new girl never showed up for her shift.  But I wasn’t surprised.  I had a pretty good feeling that she went home, he got pissed and she was told she couldn’t work at Hooters anymore.  It’s a shame, but hardly unexpected.  Boyfriends always have issues with Hooters, but really in the end the issues are far deeper than a job involving short shorts.

Too bad we lost such a good one.

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The Mickey Mouse Analogy

Last night, due to the whole corporate mishap, I got to teach Image Class to a group of newer hires.  Image Class is one step of many in the Hooters training regimen and its basic purpose is to teach girls what is required and expected under the title of Hooters Girl.  You learn the uniform and image requirements, tips and tricks for maintaining said requirements, what being a Hooters girl requires as far as attitude, personality and service and why it's all important.

Really, I've always thought that was the most important part of Image Class.  Why are the myriad of rules and requirements so important to being a Hooters Girl?  When I teach my classes, I always begin and end with the why.  I outline the fact that Hooters is a successful brand built around the concept of the Hooters Girl.  The Hooters Girl is the brand and as such there is an expectation held by each and every customer who walks in the door.  They know the iconic image of the Hooters Girl.  They expect that image.  If we didn't deliver it the experience would disappointing.

Yesterday, I finally came up with the perfect analogy for the importance of the Hooters Girl image:

"It's like going to Disney World when you're eight.  You walk through the park gates and all you want to see is Mickey Mouse because after all this is freaking Disney World and as good as all the other stuff is, Mickey is where it's at.  All day you're hoping to see him and finally at the very end of the day you get your chance.  You wait in line and suddenly it's your turn and you're so very excited with your little autograph book and pen ready.  Then you look up at him and you smile with utter happiness just as you're noticing that this Mickey isn't what you expected.  He's all mangy looking and too tall and not plump enough and smells and his ears don't stand up straight and there's no familiar smile.  This Mickey is downright frightening.  That would not only scare the crap out of you, it'd be the most disappointing moment of your eight year old life."

Yes, that was my Mickey Mouse analogy.  I've never used it in class before, but it seemed to get the idea of why upholding the occasionally tedious Hooters Girl standards is of the utmost importance.  A Hooters Girl is an icon and icons are universal images with universal expectations.  It might not always be fun, but there's a reason why I never have an off day.  After all, no one wants to be a mangy Mickey.  That's just not cute.

Training in My Sleep

In preparation for the busier warm weather months I’ve been training a lot of new girls lately.  Out of my regular five to six shifts a week I’m training someone at least two of them.  And let me just be totally honest, while a few have been really great hires most of them leave a lot to be desired.  It seems experience has taken a back seat.  Or it’s taken the trunk.  Or more likely it wasn’t even in the car to begin with.  Yes, this is Hooters and looks do matter, but believe it or not is possible to find girls pretty faces that also have experience – or at least common sense.  Maybe I should fill in our hiring manager.  Maybe I should also let him know that his “nines and tens only” make me feel like a freaking thirty.  But that’s another story.

Oh hey, Holly.

Anyhooters, all this training has been draining.  While I am paid an extra dollar an hour while training (take that minimum wage), after awhile that hardly seems worth all the extra work.  Especially when you consider I have to take less tables and explain every little thing I’m doing and why I’m doing it.  All that baby stepping can really get on your nerves after awhile.

It’s probably not hard to imagine given all that venting that training has been on my mind a lot lately.  In fact it’s been on my mind so much that the other day I had a dream about training.  If there is one thing I hate more than anything it’s dreaming about work; I spend enough time there during the day without it finding me during sleep.  Sleep is my time, Hooters.  Back off.

Dreaming away, I suddenly realize I’m in the back room at Hooters.  Gathering uniforms, tests and employee manuals, I’m readying myself for my newest trainee.  Of course this is a dream so somehow I’m suddenly waiting for her as she tries everything on.  It’s all pretty normal until the door opens and the trainee starts to come out of the bathroom but she doesn’t just come walking out.  She comes rolling out.  Rather than having on her standard, Hooters issued Sketchers she has on roller skates.  And not just any roller skates, but the hardcore low-top type that burly roller derby chicks wear.

As I begin to tell her that the skates are a horrible idea and not appropriate, the trainee interrupts me to tell me that she is a roller derby girl and she gave up walking for Lent to improve her moves on the derby circuit.  Even within my dream I note that Hooters Girl and roller derby girl make no damn sense together.  I let her wear the skates.  This is probably mostly because she is a total bitch and I want to see her eat shit.

And that is exactly what happens.  I wake up just after watching her fall into a hula-hooping child.  I sadly missed the aftermath. 

It was all strangely statisfying.

Sauce takes a Trainee on an Adventure at Table 31

Yesterday I trained a new girl.  It was her third day of training and basically what this means is I get to follow her around, make sure she doesn't forget anything and make her money.  Ok, that sounds wrong.  I actually do a lot a of work, but the trainee is expected to do most of the "server stuff" with the tables.  It's her job to introduce us and take drink orders and take food orders.  It's my job to make sure she's doing all of the above right.  I make sure she remembers all the questions to ask when a guy orders wings or that she lets people know the specials.  Basically I make sure she doesn't forget crap.

The girl I trained yesterday was doing a pretty good job taking tables and remembering all the big things she had to be doing.  While Hooters might seem like an easy job, there really are a lot of little things to remember when people are ordering.  I was doing an awful lot of reminding of these things.  That's normal enough though.  What wasn't so normal were the two guys we had to deal with at table 31.  I should be more specific, the one really nice bodybuilder and the old guy we had to deal with at table 31.

When we approached the table the old man was mad that we didn't have breakfast.  This happens at Hooters more than you might realize.  Maybe it has something to do with us being right behind an IHOP, but people - especially older people - always seem to want pancakes or a scramble or maybe even a frittata.   We open at eleven we, don't have breakfast.  Deal with it.

As I was saying, approaching the table there was some typical breakfast complaining.  The usual "where's the eggs" quickly progressed into a not so typical "I bet the girls aren't so ugly at IHOP either."  I quickly and thankfully decided to take over the table from my trainee.  She was exhibiting all the classic signs of "help me."

Now usually - meaning had I not had a trainee - I would have taken the time to write down all the little gems this old man decided to tell us.  But I didn't write anything down so we'll have to rely on my brain.  Sorry for all the things you're going to miss.

• "You (meaning me) look forty-eight and she (meaning my trainee) looks ten."
• "Why are you all so ugly here?!"
• "Did you just forget to wax your mustache today?"
• "The only thing good here is my sandwich."
• "Give me more beer, I'm trying to make you pretty."
• "Of course you should take my plate, I'm trying to get you to do your job."
• "You seem awful good at standing around."
• "Of course I don't love my wife."
• "I'd put you right to work if you know what I mean."
• "I'd ask for your phone number, but I'd never call you."
• "Well my wife only hit me with the frying pan twice."  (It was confirmed by the nicer, younger guest that this was in fact true)
• "I don't want to know a darn thing about you thinking."

And unfortunately that's all I can remember.  I'm forgetting at least 50-75% of what he said.  The memory loss of a 25-year-old is a real bitch.  Oh and he did snap at me to get my attention which is quite possibly one of my biggest pet peeves ever.  Luckily I work at Hooters.  This means I can throw shit back at people - who don't seem to mind and are generally cool of course.  This means that in response to said snapping I got to say, "I have a name you know and though I'm sure you can't read, I did write it on the napkin in front of you."  This is why I love Hooters. 

Now before you get all defensive and say I should never talk to a customer like that, I let you know that both young, nice guy and old, not-so-nice guy ate that shit right up.  Old guy and I exchanged insults with the greatest of ease.  You see, even with his very serious demeanor it became obvious fairly quickly that, most of the time, old guy was joking.  It also became obvious that old guy appreciated a woman who could dish it right back.  I had read my table like a true pro.  My trainee was in awe.

Finally, after many a cut had been delivered, the gentlemen were ready to leave and young guy decided to pay, leaving exact cash for the ticket.  He then gave us each a twenty-dollar bill.

Young Guy:  "Thanks for being such good sports.  Most waitresses would have ignored us completely with most of his remarks.  It's his first time here and he loved it.  I really appreciate it."

Old Guy:  "Yeah, I like a little frisk to my ladies.  Wanna come home and meet my wife?"

I love my job.

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Becoming a Trainer

It's official.  I am a Certified Hooters Girl Trainer.  After hours of my own training, I now have the ability to train others.  I have to say it feels great.  So does the extra dollar an hour I'll be making (during training shifts only of course).  So does the big shiny nametag I now wear announcing my awesome to the world (note the regular orange nametag versus the gold trainer nametag).  So does being at the top of the Hooters Girl food chain.  Great indeed.

So I know you're all curious about what Hooters Girl Trainer training is like.  Besides being a tongue twister, the training basically involves knowing everything about being the perfect Hooters Girl.  I mean EVERYTHING.  Of course you also have to BE the perfect Hooters Girl.  This includes, but is not limited to: how to scrunch socks properly, selecting the correct bra, achieving perfect scores on all menu, bar and service tests, how to correctly size shorts, looking PERFECT every shift, knowing and caring out the "12 Steps of Hooters Hospitality," suggestive selling techniques, appropriate makeup and hair styles, how to tell a girl she fails to have the appropriate makeup and hair style, how to not make a girl when you tell her she doesn't have the appropriate makeup and hairstyle, how to tell a girl to get the appropriate makeup and hair style and a whole bunch of other things.

Well that's all good and great, but what does Hooters Girl training really involve?  Hooters Girl training is an intense three or more day journey.  It doesn't just start with shadowing as many serving jobs do.  Hooter Girl training starts in the classroom.  There are lectures and movies and tests and a manual.  You learn about Hooters history and Hooters hospitality and Hooters brand and Hooters image.  You learn all that there is to learn about Hooters.  You become Hooters.  You are Hooters.  Basically, Hooters has Hooters Girl training down to a science.

Hooters ability to train so effectively and so intently is core to Hooters strength as a brand.  As I was sitting through my tenth hour or so of class last week, I was struck by how dedicated Hooters is to maintaining an impeccable image that is the same no matter what Hooters you end up in.  You could be in New York or Los Angeles or Tokyo and your experience would be the same.  You'd eat the same food, see the same dances and see the uniform worn just so.  Your Hooters Girl may have an accent or dark skin or be tall or be any number of things, but at the core she'd give you the same service and the same scrunched socks.  This is because of Hooters intense, methodical training.  The training that tells you exactly how to wear your make up and just how to pull up your shorts to make them "smile" and the right way to scrunch those important socks.  Yes, they tell you the right versus wrong way to scrunch socks.  And we were doing it all wrong.  Did we ever think about it?  Hell no, we never thought about it.  But let me tell you, there is an obvious difference.  We had too big of folds and folded over the tops and had no uniformity.  Smaller, exact scrunches and no folded tops made our legs not only look longer, but thinner.  Who knew?!  Hooters knew - obviously.

Of course that probably seems silly, how to scrunch socks.  But it's a perfect example of how exact Hooters training is.  Hooters not only takes training seriously, but they do a damn good job of it.  While it may seem like overkill, it is fundamental to why Hooters has been such a recognized brand for over twenty-five years.  When it comes down it, the Hooters Girl is Hooters.  Take her away and it's just another sports bar that serves another plate of hot wings.  Take the Hooters Girl away and you don't have Hooters anymore.  Impeccable training makes impeccable Hooters Girls, which makes the Hooters experience.  If it weren't for all that intense training before you even step on the floor the Hooters Girl could be compromised thus compromising the very premise of Hooters.  Hooters knows this.  Hooters pounds this in our heads.  Strong work, Hooters.

Basically, I wholeheartedly agree with Hooters training practices.  While it seems daunting at first (trust me, I thought it was insane when I was hired), it is the key to your success as a Hooters Girl and the key to Hooters success in general.  Being that perfect Hooters Girl WILL make you more money and it has obviously made money for Hooters as a business.

I do my first training shift on Sunday morning.  It will be her third training day.  Basically, what this means is that for the most part I'll just follow her around and she how she handles her tables and make sure she doesn't miss anything.  Essentially it should be a breeze.  When I have to teach my first class, things will get more interesting.  Promise.

Also, I'll be including a few specific stories from my training last week and what's it's like having corporate around the store.  Stay tuned!

Sauce the Trainer

I am a most epic Hooters Girl.  I may be biased, but I'd go so far as too say I am amazing at my job.  After working at Hooters for over a year and a half I, unlike many girls, still go above and beyond to be the epitome of Hootersness.  Now, Hooters has recognized this too.  As of next week I will be a CERTIFIED Hooters Girl trainer.  I will take classes.  I will sit through training.  And I will get a special nametag that proclaims to the entire world that I am such a good Hooters Girl that I have the ability to create new Hooter Girls without the mess of reproduction.  Basically, I am all that is awesome. 

Stay tuned for updates on the training process!