My Hooters Girl Touched Me, Is She Flirting?

The following question appeared in my inbox the other day and I thought it was definitely worth addressing.  Remember if you have your own Hooters question (or Sauce question or life question or random conversation) either email me or visit my Formspring and ask away!

Are there rules or recommendations against servers at Hooter's making physical contact with their guests?  I had my (regular) server trail her fingers across my back as she walked by me tonight.  This seems to cross a line between playful flirtation and actually leading on a guest.  What's your take on this?

This would be inappropriate for example.  CREDIT.

My initial answer to your question regarding contact between Hooters Girls and customers would be that I don’t think it’s appropriate in most cases.  I don’t think it’s necessarily because the action is leading, but because it’s simply out of place in the restaurant work environment.  Would it be out of place for your waitress to touch you at TGI Friday’s?  Why would Hooters be any different?  Specifically, in a place such as Hooters where a guest touching the girls is often deemed inappropriate, it seems rather necessary for the policy to work both ways to avoid confusion.

Now all that being said, the situation can get a little confusing when it comes to regulars – as you’ve pointed out you are.  With the increased familiarity of a regular customer, physical contact becomes a lot more commonplace.  However, this is generally very innocent and usually acceptable in my opinion because it never crosses the line.  These are situations where I am very mindful and still keep the contact to a minimum just to avoid any confusion like you’ve mentioned.  An innocent gesture to some and be taken so differently by others so nine times out of ten it’s best to just be avoided.

So do I think she was leading you on specifically?  Obviously being that I wasn’t a part of the situation I can’t say for sure, but based on what you’ve told me (most specifically your regular status) I’d say that her actions were not meant to be leading.  I think it was just a motion made out of familiarity.  Of course I can never know for sure.

What all this does tell me though, is how careful Hooters Girls – and far more broadly women in general – have to be in their customer interactions.  A thoughtless gesture or assertion can easily be taken in a light that was never intended.  Especially when you’re a pretty girl paid to show off your outgoing personality.  Flirting and fun seem to skirt an awfully thin line.

Horny on Life

Aren't we all?

The other day I had a guest describe Hooters in a way I'd never even begun to contemplate.  His reaction to the Hooters experience was simple and crazy and original and strange and totally great.

"You know what Hooters does?  It makes people horny on life."

It was one of those statements you don't exactly know how to respond to.  It catches you off guard just enough that regular reaction time goes completely out the window and you find yourself somewhat awkwardly contemplative as you attempt to formulate a response.  He must have sensed my state of being and explained himself.

"Well it's like when you leave Hooters you're just totally happy in every sense of the word.  You're belly is full of delicious fried food.  You've had a couple of huge beers to wash it all down.  Plus you got to do all of that hanging around chicks who aren't just hot, but also happen to be cool as shit.  It just makes you feel really good about the world.  It's horny on life."

And as weird as it seemed, it summed it all up pretty well.

So go to Hooters and get horny on life.

Not a Good Day

Today ended horribly at work.  On Thursdays, I act as attendant in our small casino (a very Montana thing to have attached to a sports bar/restaurant).  Usually this is a rather slow day for me and today seemed no different.  Until I went to count my bag at the end of my shift.  Somehow, despite being ridiculously slow, I came up $135 short.  I've never even been a dollar short before and now I was missing over $100.  I panicked.

I counted the money again and again until finally I broke into tears and realized that despite having no idea how it could happened the money was long gone.  After putting my tips toward the deficit, I was still $80 short forcing me to go to the ATM to make up the difference.  I effectively paid to go to work today.

I still have absolutely no idea what could have happened, but at this point I suppose it doesn't even matter.  What's done is done and the debt has been paid.  Paid painfully, but paid none the less.  Life goes on.

UPDATE
Have you ever had one of those moments of total clarity in the middle of the night?  The type that wakes you up and suddenly everything is clear in a way that is almost scary?  Well that happened to me at about 5:30 a.m. this morning.

I woke up and in the same instant that my eyes were opening I remembered cashing a $135 winning ticket.  Not only did I remember the ticket, I remembered nearly everything about the man who claimed it including the machine he'd been playing and how he liked his coffee.  I remembered our conversation and how much money he'd fed the machine.  Mostly I remembered cashing his ticket, marking it off and putting it away (it's only where it went that remains unknown).  I found the money in a sleep induced perfect memory.

Remembering was almost as rewarding as being handed my $135 after checking the accounting of machine 16.  There, at noon just like I'd said, was a $135 cashout.  Thank you, memory.

Receipt Art: May 22, 2011

This receipt art is pretty self-explanatory.  Having a table with a father and his little boy, I figured a fire breathing dragon would go over pretty well.  I was also planning to add a knight or something to slay the dragon, but I clearly ran out of room.  So now that poor tower is totally undefended.  My bad.

Now if only I hadn't given that rather cute dragon such a horrible tail.

The Mickey Mouse Analogy

Last night, due to the whole corporate mishap, I got to teach Image Class to a group of newer hires.  Image Class is one step of many in the Hooters training regimen and its basic purpose is to teach girls what is required and expected under the title of Hooters Girl.  You learn the uniform and image requirements, tips and tricks for maintaining said requirements, what being a Hooters girl requires as far as attitude, personality and service and why it's all important.

Really, I've always thought that was the most important part of Image Class.  Why are the myriad of rules and requirements so important to being a Hooters Girl?  When I teach my classes, I always begin and end with the why.  I outline the fact that Hooters is a successful brand built around the concept of the Hooters Girl.  The Hooters Girl is the brand and as such there is an expectation held by each and every customer who walks in the door.  They know the iconic image of the Hooters Girl.  They expect that image.  If we didn't deliver it the experience would disappointing.

Yesterday, I finally came up with the perfect analogy for the importance of the Hooters Girl image:

"It's like going to Disney World when you're eight.  You walk through the park gates and all you want to see is Mickey Mouse because after all this is freaking Disney World and as good as all the other stuff is, Mickey is where it's at.  All day you're hoping to see him and finally at the very end of the day you get your chance.  You wait in line and suddenly it's your turn and you're so very excited with your little autograph book and pen ready.  Then you look up at him and you smile with utter happiness just as you're noticing that this Mickey isn't what you expected.  He's all mangy looking and too tall and not plump enough and smells and his ears don't stand up straight and there's no familiar smile.  This Mickey is downright frightening.  That would not only scare the crap out of you, it'd be the most disappointing moment of your eight year old life."

Yes, that was my Mickey Mouse analogy.  I've never used it in class before, but it seemed to get the idea of why upholding the occasionally tedious Hooters Girl standards is of the utmost importance.  A Hooters Girl is an icon and icons are universal images with universal expectations.  It might not always be fun, but there's a reason why I never have an off day.  After all, no one wants to be a mangy Mickey.  That's just not cute.

Or Maybe Corporate Isn't Coming

After all of that cleaning and scaring the absolute shit out of the new girls, corporate isn't coming after all.  It seems that sometimes air travel just doesn't want to cooperate with flying across the country.  With delay after delay, it just didn't make sense for our trainer to trek out to Montana just to turn around again and leave.  I am both disappointed and entirely ecstatic.

Imagine my carefully made up dismay when I arrived to work only to find out there would be no visit.  Not only had I bought a brand new top and pouch for the event, I'd painstakingly cleaned my Sketchers to make them as white as possible.  Beyond that I had gone the extra mile and went full on glamour with fake eyelashes.  Now I love fake eyelashes, but I don't love them enough to get my ass out of bed to wear them in the morning without a damn good reason.  Sleep wins over 100% eye perfection every time no matter how good that shit looks.

Needless to say I was looking like a slice of Hooters Girl perfection.  Wasted on a Monday morning.  At least my customers probably thought I looked amazing.  Or entirely overdone for a Monday morning.  Either way.

So guess who gets to teach Image and Renegade Service class during the season finale of her all time, totally nerdy, favorite show tomorrow?  Yup, this eyelash wearing, overachieving, total corporate ready girl.

You just wait till next time, my corporate friends.  I've been eating like a champ and lost 2% body fat after my first month of bootcamp.  I'm getting toned as shit.  Add that to the eyelashes and I'll be so corporate ready it'll hurt their eyes.  See you soon.

Corporate is Coming

Tomorrow marks the first day of a whirlwind training visit from the corporate office in Atlanta.  The visit will consist of training new certified corporate trainers for both Hooters Girls and bartenders and doing image and service classes with all the girls hired in the last year.  Basically we’re getting a visit to make sure we continue to be totally awesome.

Luck for us, we run a fairly strict store.  This means that we do a pretty good job of keeping up corporate standards day in and day out.  Not only does this make us more successful as a restaurant, it means that when corporate decides to show up we don’t look like total asshats.  Instead of freaking out and doing a total overhaul of our store, a little cleaning is all it takes to be corporate ready.

I mean let’s be honest here, when corporate shows up it’s sort of like your parents coming home after a long weekend away.  It’s not like we’re the type of kids that have crazy keggers, we’re more the type that let the dishes pile up and forget to water the grass so that it goes a little brown on the edges.  A bit of elbow grease and time and mom will never know that we ate Hot Pockets off the good china.

In addition to a little extra cleaning, we’ve worked toward uniform perfection as well.  I won’t sugarcoat, some of us who may have worn xxs shorts when we were hired, might need to go up a size today.  It’s not that me resizing a girl’s shorts is mean, it’s a way to keep her ass from hanging out in unflattering ways.  And trust me, I’m not even a quarter as blunt as corporate will be.  Better to fix the problems now.

So all the provisions have been made and corporate will be welcomed with open arms.  Of course last time I was told my lips needed to look fuller.  That has not been fixed.  But besides my lips, I’m totally ready for corporate.

Sexpresso

I'll have a mocha, please. CREDIT

Recently a question popped up in my email that asked about my opinion on “sexpresso” stands that are appearing everywhere and are being compared to Hooters.  If you’re unfamiliar with what a sexpresso stand is, it’s basically you’re regular coffee stand only staffed with girls in lacy lingerie.  And they’re all the rage.  Even our middle of nowhere, Montana city has two of these new stands.  With the names like “Natté Latté,” this new fad is all about sexy service and double entendre.

With that simple overview it seems a pretty easy comparison to Hooters.  The female staff, the play on words, the eye on entertainment.  But personally, I think the comparisons stop there.  Yes, Hooters has a strong component based on sex appeal, but it’s an innocent, playful sex appeal not shared with these far more racy coffee stands.  While I wear a tank top, shorts and horrendously tan, nearly opaque nylons, these girls are clad in little more than bra straps, lace and underwire.  I don’t know about you, but I just don’t like the idea of standing in an open window in front of a line of cars with little more than lace boy shorts shielding my lady parts from both the elements and prying eyes.

I guess to me there is a definite and firm distinction between the playful sexy of Hooters and the entirely overt sexy of these drive-in cafes.  Perhaps the line is small, but I think it absolutely exists.

Now, I realize that my stance has the probability of being taken as hypocrisy to some and that’s totally fine.  What I will note is that I see nothing wrong with people frequenting these stands.  Just as I have always maintained with my own place of employment, visiting these establishment is purely a personal decision and I am all for personal choice in all things.  Including where, when and how your morning coffee is served.  What is too much for me is fine for others.  That’s the beauty of choice.

All I know is I personally don’t like the idea of a barista in a negligée serving me a cup of scalding hot liquid.  That just sounds like a workman’s comp filing waiting to happen.