100th Post

That last post was my 100th...I should have been more epic.  Damn

Sibling Rivalry

With the return of the Hooters calendar, Hooters Girls everywhere find themselves looking through the glossy pages and commenting on the many faces looking up at them.  We comment on swimming suits, smiles, eyes and attitudes.  To be blunt, we judge.  As a company full of women that distributes a calendar full of more women, judging is going to happen.  It can be positive and it can most certainly be negative, but it's judgment either way.

This year, however, at my Hooters the comments went beyond "she looks like a stripper" and "I so want that swimming suit" because the 2010 calendar featured several girls photographed together.  Some of these girls looked like - just maybe - they could be sisters.  Probably doesn't seem like a big deal to have a few sets of (maybe) sisters in the calendar.  Yeah, it's a hot fantasy perhaps, but still not a big deal.  What makes it a big deal is that our Hooters is a Hooters of sisters.  Currently, on a payroll of less than 40 girls we have two sets of sisters.  Two sets, whatever, right?  Well two is actually quite low for us.  At the height of our sibling awesomeness we in fact had four sets of sisters.  Yes, ten percent of our waitstaff were sisters (not to each other mind you).

Now, with so many sisters working together I want you to take a moment and appreciate the dynamics of such a situation.  If the sisters are happy, they can make quite a team.  They can play off each other at tables and pickup one another's shifts in a heartbeat.  Now lets hold hands and be oh so happy!  Unfortunately, sisters don't always get along so well.  Sometimes, or always, sisters can be complete and utter bitches to each other.  Add a restaurant centered on how hot you are and simple sibling rivalry can escalate into WWIII.  Yay for cat fights!  Imagine two sisters, wings in hand, trying to fight without making a scene of epic proportions in the middle of a restaurant.  If you are having trouble envisioning such a moment picture two hot girls that look alike glaring at each other and "whisper" fighting all while wearing hot shorts.  Probably hot to you, horrible to work with for me.

All I can say is thank goodness my sister is not a Hooters Girl.  You'd probably be reading my obituary instead of my blog.

Dear High School Students,

I realize that you have no job and your parents support you.  Hell, your parents may even give you an allowance still.   I understand that they may throw money at you to go to the mall or to a movie or even to eat at Hooters.  I get that money is just paper to you and that mommy and daddy have lots and lots of it in their wallets.  Rent, car payments and bills are a world unknown to you.

One day, however, this will all change.  One day you too will have to find yourself a job, cut the financial ties and handle your own shit.  That's right oh young ones, one day your parents will no longer pay for your sorry ass.  On that day you will find a job.  It probably won't be glamorous and probably won't leave you with scores of discretionary income.  Most likely, you will find some job that pays the bills, but leaves little left over for much else.  You will bust your ass in retail or you may even become a server.

Yes, you may become a server just like me.  You will work your ass off waiting on people hand and foot.  You will clean up messes like the ones you left for me.  You will have days that you hate your job, but you will still go to work everyday because you have bills to pay.  Of course your bills won't be paid by the less than mediocre hourly wage you receive but by the tips your guests leave you.  Some will tip twenty percent, some fifteen and some will tip like you do.  Yes, some will leave you a super awesome nine cent tip.  You will wait on them hand and food and split their tickets and teach them the bar stool rodeo.  Yes, the six of them could easily all leave you just one dollar apiece - but they won't.  Instead they will leave you nine fucking cents.  You will resent the shit of them.

So perhaps - as a simple suggestion - you could at least leave your server a measly ten percent because I'm sure one day you'd really appreciate the same consideration.

Sincerely,
Your POed Server

Of Fields and Guitar Strings

It's a Montana fall.  The type of fall that slips into winter before the leaves even find the time to change colors.  The type of fall that leaves summer behind in one effortless motion.  It's the type of fall the doesn't melt the seasons into one another - its motion is far more extreme.  This is a Montana fall.

So in this cold, a recent snowfall struggling to melt, I stand in a field.  It's just me, my guitar and the mountains closing in behind me.  My guitar is my life.  My Montana is my soul.

Oh Hey!

Sorry dear friends.  Once again I have left you hanging.  Please don't worry, I only had an epic work schedule with little excitement.  Oh, and I got the Swine Flu (H1N1 if you want to be all correct).  That was really no big deal though, only a little annoyance that left me achy and really bitchy.  Basically, it was an epically good time.  I highly suggest it if you enjoy being quarantined and drinking codine cough syrup like it's your job.  Don't worry though, I'm all better and I have some shit to say...so pay attention!

Why I Love My Job

It's notes like this that make me realize why I LOVE working at Hooters.