27 December 2010

1000 Followers

It seems I've finally reached 1000 followers on this little bloggity blog.  It's funny how this was some grand goal for me - and that such a goal would occur today (more on that in a minute).  No horns sounded.  There was no confetti.  But I'm still pretty proud of myself.  The thought that a blog written by me actually has a following so great is astounding and humbling to me all at the same time.  I appreciate all my readers and hope that I continue to deliver the sort of content that makes you keep coming back; I'd hate to be a disappointment.  I'd also like to say a special thank you to those few who've been with me since my humble beginnings.  Way to stick it out.

It's my next goal to get more involvement on the blog.  More questions asked.  More reader comments and stories shared.  On that note, if you have any feel free to email them to me at girlandguitar@live.com.  Seriously, do it now.

Unfortunately, this momentous personal occasion had to occur to today.  Today I sit thousands and thousands of miles from home and found out my grandpa passed away at home.  He was 95.  A prairie hardened rancher who just lost his purpose there in the nursing home.  You just can't contain a man like that within the small spaces of an assisted living facility for very long.  Perhaps, eventually, I'll write about him, attempting to capture his spirit within words and phrases.  And I'll probably fail miserably.  Right now though, I am honestly lost within the idea of him.  I don't have him.  I don't have any grandparents anymore.  And here I am so far from home.  What does one do?  I don't know.

26 December 2010

Hooters is Everywhere

So here I am in The Netherlands being (mostly) fabulous.  My Dutch fabulosity has included eating, shopping, museum visiting, eating, family visiting, Heineken drinking, biking, canal touring and a little more eating.  Basically it's been awesome thus far.  Well except for the part involving the fact that the Dutch aren't really equipped for serious snow removal causing sidewalks so icy even my Ugg boots are more like ice skates.  Oh and that reminds me, my $160 Ugg boots are like 250 Euro here.  NUTS.

Anyway, the whole point of me interrupting my fabulous vacay for you, was to share the fact that Hooters had one last laugh as I flew overseas.  There I was, crammed into my coach seat for eight hours forcing myself to watch B-list movies, when dinner was served.  Pasta was a choice and this made my freaking day.  Or as excited as one can be for airline food.  I mean I can smell pesto from seven miles away and I knew there was effing pesto on that damn pasta.

As the tray hit my foldout table, I was already planning my attack.  Salad first.  Save the pesto goodness.  I was just about to rip the plastic from my salad when I noted the dressing.  I laughed out loud, then snapped a picture.  Yes, I was that crazy chick who photographed her inflight meal experience.  I probably looked like an international virgin.

Here's my photo.


I now direct your attention away from the excessive use of plastic and the fact that my water has no ice and bring you to the dressing.  Yes, that is Naturally Fresh brand dressing.  If you are unfamiliar, Naturally Fresh is owned by Hooters and makes all their dressings and wing sauces.  It seems even somewhere over the north Atlantic Hooters still maintains it's steely grip on my life.  Well done, sirs, well done.

Man that must be one epic, money making contract you have with the good people of Delta.

20 December 2010

Reason 1,894,652 Why I Love My Job

Most serving jobs probably wouldn't condone using the Island Oasis machine and bar fruit to build snowmen.  What a fabulously hooterific idea.


I know what I'm doing at work when I get back from Europe...

Automatic Creep

It seems that creepy dudes are often the worst tippers.  I perhaps could have led into that more smoothly and made it less blunt, but that's just the best way to put it.  Creepy guys tip like shit.  It seems that as cheesy pickup lines and thinly veiled innuendo increase, money making prospects decrease; it's a brutal inverse relationship.  Not only do I get the honor of serving a total douche, I get jack in return for it.  Maybe it's just their final asshole move. 

A few days ago, I had a real peach in my section.  Of course by peach I mean a man in his 50s who thoughts his mouth was a release hatch for "compliments" for me and my fellow Hooters Girls.  It's one thing if I am offended by your demeanor, if you manage to creep out the rest of the girls on staff you're truly a professional jack ass.  This guy was a certified, card carrying, doctorial candidate of douche.

After waiting on him and laughing off his varied comments, I was met by a sweet two dollar tip on a nearly $40 tab.  Unfortunately, I wasn't surprised but was - as always - incredibly disappointed.  It was about this time I did what I usually do in such situations, I started making a joke about it.  It didn't bring me the extra money I deserved, but it certainly made me feel marginally better.

My joking then evolved into a feature I wish actually existed in every Hooters (and more probably in any restaurant where woman are forced to serve men - which is pretty much everywhere).  Ever heard of automatic gratuity?  It's a featured used to add tip to large parties.  Basically, many restaurants will add a gratuity of 15-18% for parties larger than eight or ten.  The reason for this is to ensure that the server gets properly tipped for dealing with all the shit a big party entails.  And trust me, without it, big tables usually tip like complete and utter crap.  It seems that when the tab gets larger simple math goes out the window and everyone leaves 10%, or less if you're really lucky.

Anyway, the whole point of all that is that I wish that I could have an automatic creep function to apply to my tickets.  That's right, I wish I could call people out on their douchiness by forcing them to tip me properly.  Creepy pickup line?  5%.  Gratuitous boob/ass staring?  5%.  Ass cell phone pictures?  10%.  Just imagine how quickly that could add up to a nice 20% tip.  I think it's only fair.  You get to be an ass and I get paid. 

Just think of the creepiness such a register function would decrease.  If you can't afford a large tip, you don't get to be a jerk.  If you have the money, be a jerk all you want.  I'll take your money any day.  I wish the world could be so perfect.

17 December 2010

I Will Do (Most) Anything for Hooters, But I Won't Do That (Unless They Make Me)

Today I was asked to do something at work that I have tried desperately to avoid for the past two years of my employment at Hooters.  I was asked to debone wings.  Before I start in on my varied reasons for hating wing deboning, please enjoy the following video of a Hooters Girl mutilating someone's meal.



Yes, that is wing deboning.  I will start by saying she did it totally wrong.  And don't even get me started on the fact that she isn't wearing gloves.  We ALWAYS wear gloves even if "you're not eating this one".  But that's not the point.  The point is, that there is nothing I hate more than having to sit down and remove the meat from the bones of a plate full of someone else's chicken wings.  But lets start with why Hooters condones this.

Hooters has a policy known as "hands off"  or "hands free" service.  Basically this means that Hooters wants it's waitresses to cater to the customer as much as possible.  The simplest example is opening ranch and other dressings for guests at the table - this example is also a nonnegotiable step of Hooters Hospitality.  However hands off service can go much further to include just about everything.  As my trainer from corporate put it, "imagine your customer has no hands, short of eating, what would you have to do for them to make them comfortable?"  Well I can open the door, pull out their stool, open menus, rip paper towels from the roll, pour beer and so on and so forth all the way to deboning wings.  I like the idea of this step of service.  It's just one of the many things that makes Hooters stand out.

So yeah, I get why Hooters does the whole deboning wings thing now and again.  I get that it's just another "above and beyond" way of delivering Hooters' signature service.  That doesn't make it appetizing.  And that's the thing, I don't find anything appetizing about a girl donning a pair of rubber gloves and ripping into my food as she burns the shit out of her fingers.  There she is tearing into a plate of wings, removing the sauce with her gloved hands like a clumsy, drunk surgeon as she turns what was ordered into something else entirely.

Wait, don't we already have boneless wings on the menu?  Yup, there they are.  Boneless wings that require no manhandling.  But of course if order those you don't get the pleasure of treating your Hooters Girl like a slave.  Or the pleasure of being freaking lazy.

And yes, I did debone his wings.  I just hated it the whole time.

16 December 2010

Why I Won't be Winning the Merchandise Contest


I'm winning the merchandise contest with nearly $900 in sales.  Ironically, the total sales for the contest are just over $3,500.  You do the math on how much the other girls I work with suck at sales.  Or suck at trying.  Or don't try at all.  Regardless, I'm still insanely competitive.  It's just my way.

While I'm ahead of second place by just over $100 (do some more math on how much the other girls REALLY suck at sales) I probably won't be winning.  It's not that I'm pessimistic, it's that I'll be missing ten days of the contest at the end of the month.  Ten days is an awful lot of selling no matter how much I try to pad my sales now.

So where will I be for ten days of December (and ten days of January as it were)?  I'll be being fabulous in Europe of course.  Oh did I forget to mention that?  Yeah, I'm spending my holidays in the Netherlands.  I'm not mad about it.

So I might not win - though I'll still likely place - but I have to say I'm not too concerned about it.  Europe is an awful good reason not to win, after all most of the girls are losing due to laziness.  At least I'll lose because I'm on a different continent.  That's a real reason.

Now who wants to send me $50 and I'll sell you a gift card?


Oh and don't worry.  I'll be auto-posting some of my "greatest hits" while I'm gone in addition to *trying* to post some awesome posts from abroad.  If only there were a Hooters in Amsterdam.

14 December 2010

I Want Her Job: Likes for Learning Campaign

A little over a month ago I was featured on a cool new website called I Want Her Job (IWHJ).  The site, which features interviews with woman across a broad spectrum of industries, is meant to inspire woman - and people in general - through the success of others.

When my interview appeared, I posted it HERE and simply alluded to the website rather than opening posting it as a way to maintain my anonymity.  Now, IWHJ has started an amazing new campaign that in my eyes is more important than a few of my readers chancing across a photo of me.  After all, my anonymity has more to do with my blog being an "any Hooters Girl" than actually concealing my identity. Who I am to prevent a cause for a personal ideal?

Today, Brianne - founder of IWHJ - sent out an email requesting help.  It included the following:
Yesterday I Want Her Job launched its first-ever nonprofit campaign. The goal is simple, I want our community to help raise enough money to sponsor a few girls in Guatemala with education and mentorship, so that they can be the first in their families to attend school, make a difference in their families and communities, and empower other women by doing so. As a community of women who are fortunate enough to have had an education, to have had mentors, and to have had the resources to make our dreams come true, I want to reach out to you for help.
So here I am, doing my part.  For every new "Like" on Facebook and follower on Twitter, IWHJ will donate 50 cents to She's the First.  I hope you'll join me in supporting this amazing cause!

"LIKE" I WANT HER JOB on FACEBOOK

FOLLOW I WANT HER JOB on TWITTER

Hans is MIA

Where is Hans?  If you've been reading for a while you probably remember Hans, the 63 year-old guest, lovingly named after the skate shop owner from the Mighty Ducks, who was my biggest fan.  He even wanted to buy me a couch once.  No joke.  Hans was a pretty regular fixture around Hooters, gracing table 83 with his presence every week or two.  Then Hans went missing.

Hans - absent for months - finally appeared in April only to tell me had experienced a heart attack.  Needless to say, I was worried, but slowly he began to get better.  He'd made the move from water to soda, but Miller Lite bottles were still out of the question.  Even without the beer he seemed to be doing well.

Then Hans disappeared again and suddenly I realize I haven't seen him since June or July.  Being a caring person, I was immediately worried.  Thoughts of hospital beds and defibrillators flashed through my mind.  I assumed the worst.

Yes, I assumed that Hans was - sadly - dead.  I wrote that just as bluntly as I thought it.  I skipped right past illness, extended vacations and moving.  I went right to death.

So I did what any good nerd would do and I Googled the shit out of Hans.  I searched numerous permutations of his name and residence.  I even searched the local paper just in case Google was sucking and missed some relevant piece of information.  My search was thorough and still I came up with nothing of importance regarding Han's current state of being.  I'm not sure if this made me more or less worried.

If you're out there, Hans, please come and say hi.  Or send a smoke signal.  I'm worried.

13 December 2010

Sauce, not Sauce

"SAUCE"

"Sauce"

"Saucity, saucy, sauce."

I don't know how it took over two effing years for this to dawn on me, but it's really inconvenient to have the nickname "Sauce" at Hooters.  I mean sauce of some kind appears or can appear on almost every menu item.  Now as you can probably imagine this leads to an awful lot of sauce discussions both in the kitchen and on the floor.  None of which involve me.

So there I'll be walking by someone doing something of importance and suddenly I'll hear "Sauce."  Sometimes I'm smart enough to realize they're just talking about the deliciousness of spicy garlic sauce, but then there are the times I'm so enthralled in restocking paper towels that I automatically think that they are talking to me.  After all, I am pretty much the most important person ever.  Then I'll invariably find myself in some marginally awkward situation where I've interrupted a conversation that has absolutely nothing to do with me.

HG:  "So our hot sauce is actually more to the medium side of the heat scale."

Sauce:   "You needed me?"

HG:  "Um, what?  No."

This is generally followed by awkward staring from both the Hooters Girl and the customer as I attempt to back away from the table as casually as possible.  I imagine that this is the point where the girl tries to explain that I have the most confusing name in the world and that Sauce is my nickname.  Or they just pretend I wasn't weird and move on to breaded or naked.

This is probably more common with the kitchen.  You see the kitchen calls for "Sauce" when my food is done.  So of course I'll hear sauce and find my way to the sell window expecting to pick up a delicious fried delicacy.

Sauce:  "So where's my food?"

Cook:  "Um, what food?"

Sauce:  "The food you called for when you called my name which you didn't really call did you."

As my trailing ramble progresses I am invariably met with blank stares that I can only imagine confirm how strange I really am.  Again I back away and pretend I didn't just look like a creep.

Note to self:  The whole world is in fact NOT talking about you all the time.  Only most of the time of course.

10 December 2010

Makeup & Drumsticks

After months of being the only Hooters blog in the vast wasteland of the Internet a brand spanking new Hooters Girl blog has suddenly appeared.  Makeup & Drumsticks follows the adventures of Tots, a newbie Hooters Girl from Georgia, as she begins her new job.  The blog is pretty interesting in that it follows her Hooters story from the beginning allowing for an inside look at the hiring, orientation and training experience at Hooters.

Tots, seems genuinely excited about her new endeavor at Hooters and this comes across readily in her frequent posting.  Hopefully, she'll continue to love her job and love telling us about it even more.

After all, I really don't want to be alone again.

Receipt Art: December 9, 2010

As promised, I am doing my very best to avoid drawing anymore snowmen on my receipts.  I won't lie, it's been a challenge.  It seems the more I try to avoid snowmen, the more I think about them.  It's sort of freaky in a "the snowmen are going to come out of my dreams and kill me in overly dramatic teen scream movie" sort of way.  You know what I mean.

So here's one of my favorite snowman-free themes.


Yes, I used COLORS and made some festive holiday lights.  Simple but awesome.  I even managed to included both the female and male ends of the lights.  That's how freaking smart I am.

I also hope you noticed the sauce stains my customers' greasy little fingers left all over the receipt.  I think it really says "Hooters."

07 December 2010

Sauce Gets Competitive


It's competition time at Hooters.  To the general populace this is more commonly known as "the holidays."  Of course those of us who work in any type of retail environment know that it's not so much of time of family gatherings as it's a time of selling the shit right out of stuff.  Allow me to elaborate.

During the month of December, Hooters wants me and every other Hooters Girl to sell as many "souvenirs" as we can.  Obviously, we are always expected to sell stuff, but during the holidays the expectation rises exponentially.  Ideally, I am meant to mention merchandise at every table and generally I do; my sales numbers are always pretty high.  Other girls struggle with the whole sales part of the Hooters Girl job.  Usually this is met with a not so serious warning.  But this is competition time and things have changed.

As a way to increase December sales, Hooters always holds some sort of competition in which the top seller receives a prize.  Last year the first girl to reach $750 in merchandise and gift card sales received 50% off any merchandise purchases for an entire day for "Christmas shopping."  Um, I work at Hooters.  I don't want to be constantly reminded of that by buying all my family Hooters shit.  Besides that hardly seems thoughtful.  And don't even get me started on the fact that it was just an opportunity for Hooters to make more money.  Whatever.  I won the contest with a nearly $200 lead.  Only all I wanted was a sweatshirt so they just gave me one.  So I made them bunches of money and I got a sweatshirt.  Go me?

This year, however, Hooters really stepped up their game and are giving away a freaking trip to Vegas.  Now when I say trip to Vegas I mean they are giving a two-night stay at Hooters Hotel (which they get for free) and $100 toward a plane ticket.  So basically they are giving away $100 when it's all said and done.  But that's not the effing point.  The effing point is that I am the most competitive person in the world and I WILL win.  And then I will go to Vegas and be utterly fabulous.

Day one of the contest I was the leading seller with $150 in sales.  Go me indeed.  Then I had two days off and now I have no idea what's going on and who has sold what.  All I know is that tomorrow it is so freaking on.  And to that man who said I was the best salesperson he'd ever seen, thank you for realizing my supreme level of awesome.  And for buying two shirts you didn't even know you wanted.

So who wants to drive to Missoula and do a little Christmas shopping?

06 December 2010

A Little Hooters History Lesson

A little history lesson on the beginning of Hooters.  Don't worry, there is some T&A in there with the information.  Go, Coby Brooks, go!

Receipt Art: Receipt-A-Palooza

You probably thought I had given up on making receipt arts.  Really the only thing that I've had to give up was my cellphone at work.  Ever since the major crackdown on phones in the building, I've been doing an awful lot of hoarding of receipts with no immediate way to photograph them.  So the receipts have been building up.  I apologize for being a hoarder.  Feel free to submit me to A&E or TLC for a major intervention.

Welcome to Receipt-A-Palooza!

I take you back to November 13, 2010.  That's how effing long I've been holding on to this thing.  Either I really like you guys or I'm completely and utterly insane.


This was mad for a band and it's an awesomely abstract little number.  I love the way it turned out almost as much as I love the fact that they had nine well vodkas accompanied by various mixers.  Just don't ask me why the computer decided to split up all those vodkas like that.  Technology is stupid.  And sober.

Now that winter is upon us, I have a whole new season of awesome to explore.  Of course by explore I mean that so far I've just drawn a shit ton of snowmen.  This was attempt one.  Please note how into the snowflakes I was.  Also note that I gave that poor snowfellow only two fingers.  My bad.


 Next the snowman went skiing.  I imagine him to be a lot like the Roaming Gnome as explores our wide and wondrous world.  Here he has decided to roam right into the path of oncoming skier.  Stupid snowman.  At least he got three fingers per hand.

Next is my favorite of the bunch.  There is just something I love about this little owls.  My love is only deepened by the little scarf and earmuffs.  Stay warm my little dudes.


Oh and perhaps you've noted how my snowflakes have now turned to asterisks because everyone knows that is the universal doodle for snow.  Whatever.


Yup, there's the snowman outside of a warm little home polluting the world with choking smoke from a coal stove.  Happy Holidays!


Then I finally got over the the snowman and changed him to a nondenominational holiday tree accompanied by a happy, hat-wearing moon.

I know make you two promises.

  1. No more snowmen
  2. Less receipt hoarding
Yeah, I can manage all that.

04 December 2010

Youtube is a Tattletale

Recently a video surfaced on Youtube that has my store all abuzz.  Of course by recently I actually mean that's it's been on the site for two effing months and it just came to everyone's attention.  Naturally, as I am a Hooters nerd, I've known about this video for quite a while.  I just never said anything because it seemed both lame and unimportant.  Apparently Corporate and our management didn't find the video so harmless.  Yes, someone somewhere sent this video to Hooters and now we're all in trouble.  So what could be so very awful?  Well take a look...



Um, what?  On a scale of one to skankalanky, you're going to hell type of shit, I'd give that a two.  In fact the customers thought it was funny and actually tipped accordingly.  I guess I don't see what the big deal is.  Heaven forbid we waste ice.  I hear that shit is frozen water and we all know how valuable that stuff is.

Now, I present another video.  You tell me which one is worse.



Or maybe this.



Perhaps it's just me, but I think the stool rodeo - condoned and taught by Hooters - is far more provocative than a "snowball" fight.  And don't even get me started on Hooters Girls slapping guests after they snort salt like it's freaking cocaine off a strippers ass (this is called the stuntman shot and according to my Youtube searching is a house specialty at a Hooters in Hawaii).

Maybe if they had told us exactly what was so inappropriate and wrong about the whole thing I'd get it, but no explanation has been offered.  So far it's seems they're mad to be mad and isn't that always just peachy?

So what are your thoughts?  Me, I think it's no big deal.  Oh and thanks for zooming in on Audrey's ass, dude.

02 December 2010

A Journey through Search Terms


Sometimes I get all nerdy and take a look at the various search terms that lead people to my blog.  Occasionally these adventures through my traffic sources actually lead to blog posts because sometimes people actually look up pretty legit questions.  Some people Google things like:  "pictures of girls picking wedgies, "I fucked a Hooters Girl," and "ass dad wife."  I regret to inform you, this post is not for you.  I now present a few select searches and my answers to them.  Glad I could help.

Do Hooters Girls use real names on their nametags?
Hooters Girls are supposed to use their real names on their nametags.  While I'm sure that there are both Hooters stores and Hooters Girls that break this rule, for the most part girls have their real names on their nametags.  At my store, we happen to have quite a few girls with different names - including two named Stormy - so we get this question quite often.  Yes, we really do have that many odd names; I guess our parents were all really original.

Are Hooters Girls promiscuous?
I would say that Hooters Girls are probably serve as a good sample of the population of women as a whole.  Basically all that mumbo gumbo means that I think that Hooters Girls are no more or less promiscuous than other woman.  Some are...um...easy and others are not.  This is no different from going to any bar on any Friday night - some girls will go home with you, but most probably won't.

Where can I find articles written about Hooters?
Yes, you're in the right place.  Stop here.  Now.  You can go anywhere on the Internet and find lots of crap about Hooters, but you should read mine first.

Can I share Hooters all you can eat wings?
Most Hooters will not let you share all you can eat wings.  After all, it's called all YOU can eat wings, not all you and your friends and your cousins and you neighbors can eat wings.  If you think about it, some people will eat less than, say, $12.99 worth of wings and some will eat more.  If you and every one else pitched in together you would obviously get your money's worth every time.  Good for you.  Bad for business.  You get the idea.

Can I buy the official Hooters uniform online?
Why yes you can buy the uniform online.  You can do so HERE.  But apparently they don't sell the shorts anymore.  For those, I'd try Ebay.

Do Hooters Girls get insurance?
Yes and no.  Because Hooters is a franchised company it is up to individual owners if they want to offer insurance.  I have worked for Hooters full-time for over two years and receive no insurance because it is not an offered benefit where I work.  But then again, I've never received a raise either.  I don't think my Hooters is the norm however.

Crafty things to do with old Hooters uniforms?
Um have I mentioned I ADORE crafts?!  Well I do.  I've never even thought about this, but I think it's fabulous that you're being all green about reusing your uniforms.  Why not make a tank top shaped throw pillow or perhaps an orange shorts hobo bag.  Or you could always burn the uniforms as a way to economically heat your home.  Yes, I'd probably go with that.

Does Hooters offer half off a boob job?
Contrary to popular belief, Hooters does not in fact offer boob jobs as a benefit.  This question appears - in varying forms - quite often amidst my searches.  Apparently this is common yet stupid belief.   So once again, Hooters does not give boobs jobs.  Or half off boob jobs.  Or half off hack boob jobs done in Tijuana.  I have seen Hooters Girls make the money to buy boobs by working at Hooters though.  Lucky them.

What are Hooters uniform sizes?
Hooters uniforms are available in size xxxs - small.  Yes, that's written correctly.  Yes, you read it correctly.  Don't worry; the sizes don't reflect actual sizes very well.

How much should I tip at Hooters?
Here is my solution to tipping at Hooters.  Is it the right way?  No, it's simply one solution to a question a lot of people have.  Tipping is individual and should not be expected.  In the end it's up to you.

Is it bad for my boyfriend to wear a Hooters shirt?
No, it is not bad for your boyfriend to wear a Hooters shirt.  It is after all, just an effing shirt.  Odds are, he went to Hooters, had a few wings, had a fun time and decided to buy a shirt.  Buying a shirt does not indicate that he cheated on at Hooters.  Or that he doesn't like you anymore.  Or any of the other totally off base conclusions you may jump to.  In fact, Hooters is probably the last place any of those things would happen.  And for the record we sell just as many shirts to girls.

When do Hooters Girls wear black?
Hooters Girls wear black every Friday.  This is called formal Friday is quite possibly the best day of the week.  We also wear black for "special events" like UFC or local college football games.  The special events change from store to store, but all stores participate in formal Fridays. 

Will a Hooters Girl kiss you if you ask?
Hate to kill any fantasies, but Hooters Girls will not kiss you even if you say please.  I don't think I need to elaborate.

So hopefully, somewhere out there on the Internet, I answered someone's burning Hooters question.  I try to be helpful now and again.  If you have your own Hooters question, don't waste your time with Google and email me instead - girlandguitar@live.com

01 December 2010

A Response to an Interview with Sauce


Did you know that 2010 only has eleven months?  Yup, it sure does.  Obviously that whole November crap didn't work out so well for me so I decided to just get rid of it.  If your birthday is in November, I apologize; go ahead and decide on October or December instead.  So here we are in December, the eleventh month of 2010.  I'm feeling pretty good about this one.
To jump us off, I'm going to remind you of an interview I did in a month that no longer exists.  I expected the interview would get some interesting comments and response.  And it did.  In fact it got so many responses that Brianne - creator of the site that I was featured on - posted her reasons for featuring me.  It was the first posting that wasn't an interview.
Below I present Brianne's reasons for including me on her site as well as why I think I deserved to be featured.
The other morning I was at work when I received a text from a good friend. It said, “Really, Bri? A Hooters girl?”
I knew he was talking about I Want Her Job.
Then a little later on I had a phone call with another good friend. She said, “It took everything in me not to write a nasty comment on your blog. I really enjoy coming to your site, but I don’t feel like working at Hooters inspires anybody. I am a teacher, and I work with kids all the time to find out what it is they really want to do. Do you really want girls to say they want to grow up and be a Hooters girl? I think that’s just degrading.”
My response to both of them was this, “Did you read the profile?”
The first friend had not read it, and once he did, well, he seemed to understand it a bit more.
The second friend I mentioned read the profile and didn’t change her mind.
She felt like the job was degrading to women and couldn’t believe I would promote it on this site.
I then asked her, “Well, if next week I featured an interview with an anchor from ‘The Today Show’ or the editor-in-chief of a magazine, would you read it?” “Yes, of course,” she said. And I responded then by saying, “Well, then it didn’t change your mind about the site?” “As long as you don’t feature a stripper … ” she responded before we changed topics.
Here’s the thing. When I made the decision to feature Sauce, I thought about it for a night. I didn’t make a quick reaction. While her job is not one that I had a targeted plan to feature, I was impressed with her viewpoint and her entrepreneurial spirit. Sauce doesn’t just work at Hooters. She trains other girls, she runs a website that gets as many as 500 views a day (which, for the record, is not easy) and furthermore, the website that she created led to an opportunity for her to write for the company’s magazine. I admire that drive.
As someone with a background in journalism, I was taught to always consider all sides of a story. The job of a reporter is to not insert your own voice and to present two sides … and even if I couldn’t find the other side of the story, I had to actively seek it out. Now, with blogging, I feel mainstream news has tried to insert more of an opinion into what they do. And beyond that, writers are looking to have more of a voice. Opinion counts these days, but sometimes it’s still best to step back and be the publisher of content that strikes a chord with people, without inserting your own thoughts. And with I Want Her Job, I am striving to motivate, but also to feature women in all types of jobs. Who am I to say what kind of jobs people should love?
The other thing about this site is that as long as you’re a woman, you can be featured if you can convince me of one thing — that you really, truly love your job. And while I realize some jobs appeal to some people and other jobs don’t, I think there’s something interesting in the fact that Sauce has to wake up every morning and no matter how she feels, she has to look her best. As a woman, I’m sure you can understand how exhausting that can be. There are some mornings when I just don’t care if I have mascara on my lashes or if my hair is curled. I’m just not into it for one reason or another. And the fact that she does this is interesting to me.
The bottom line is this: I Want Her Job is here to feature women with all types of jobs who love what they do. We’re also here to support one another. So, keep the comments coming, because we’re not just profiling women who love their jobs, we’re starting a community that has an opinion and motivates us as women.
And if we can’t be one another’s biggest cheerleaders, then who will be?
So why do I think I deserved to be interviewed on a site meant to empower women through the success of other women?  Yes, I realize I have a job that many would conventionally consider demeaning.  But I don't think my job had anything to do with me being featured.  I was chosen to be featured because I created an amazing opportunity for myself.  I took my job as a simple waitress and created a second job that has become wildly successful and that fact wouldn't change whether I waited tables at Perkins or Cracker Barrel or Hooters.  Now I'm not just a Hooters Girl, I'm a Hooters Girl with a popular blog (that makes money) and a recurring magazine article (that also makes me money).   And I don't think either of those things are easy.
 And that is why I was featured.  It wasn't my job, but rather the drive that let me turn my job into something that has boundless opportunity.  Whether I was a teacher or an artist or a garbage man it wouldn't change the fact that I created something that speaks a lot to my own spirit and ingenuity as a woman. 
Yes, I'm just a Hooters Girl, but what I choose to do with that opportunity is what I feel gives me the ability to inspire.  The whole point is that no matter what you're doing you can still put your heart and soul into it and experience a great return.
I, for one, can't wait to see where it takes me.

21 November 2010

What Happens in the Bathroom Doesn't Always Stay There


Last night was one of those infamous sorts of evenings that can only be provided for by a UFC fight.  The type of evening that brings out all the drunks and douches and high school students.  Of course last night was made even more interesting at work by the fact that our local college football team - the Montana Grizzlies - lost to their most hated rivals, Montana State.  For those of you not up on your FCS football, the Griz are pretty much notoriously awesome.  Rather than continue being the number one team in the nation though, the Griz decided to throw everyone for a loop and totally suck a big one this year.  It's been a real treat.  Anyway, the Griz loss to the Montana State Bobcats brought in tons of MSU fans that decided to be most epic douches.  So we had UFC douches and MSU douches.  The douche level was dangerously high.

Amidst all this doucheittude, a 20-something couple at table 91 decided, after what I can only imagine to be copious amounts of alcohol, to celebrate their love.  How does one celebrate their love at Hooters you may ask?  Naturally, they passionately make love in the ladies' room.  Yes, you did indeed read that correctly.  That really happened at Hooters last night.  But lets start at the beginning shall we?

With all this talk of the night shift, I actually worked during the day yesterday.  It was busy and crowded and after getting out of there, naturally the first thing I wanted to do was go home, change and come back just so I could spend my evening at Hooters.  There I was, after a long day of work hanging out there.  It wasn't my ideal evening, but Dreamy and his roommate decided to be UFC nerds.  So there I was at the bar, glad for the double, spicy bloody mary's Ariel kept handing me.  I was also glad, that Dreamy's roommate had brought along a lady (not girlfriend) to keep my company amidst the testosterone.  It was shaping up to be a lovely night.

After a quick trip to the bathroom, my lady friend told me she had seen a man enter the restroom while she was washing her hands.  She, as well as I, assumed that he was slightly to entirely intoxicated and had entered the bathroom by mistake.  Quickly though she related, that she knew it wasn't a mistake when he started loudly whispering, "Michelle."  Michelle answered with a pounced, "shhhh!"  It still all seemed rather harmless.  This was until a bit minutes later when Twin Tower walked over with a look on her face that screamed of juicy Hooters gossip.

Twin Tower:  "So did you hear what happened over at my table?"

Sauce:  "Um, I guess not."

Twin Tower:  "Manager just caught two people getting it on in the ladies' room."

Quickly the story unfolded.  It seems the casino attendant went into the bathroom after hearing some rather strange noises - which I can only imagine means primal, animalistic moaning - quietly entered the bathroom.  After doing some careful spy work that consisted of peering under the stall doors, she saw two pairs of legs in the second stall.  With their pants down.  It was evident immediately what was going on and it certainly wasn't number one or number two.  Manager was quickly notified.

Manager then proceeded to enter the bathroom on a mission and pound on the stall door with authority and ask them to leave the bathroom.  Given the state of undress within the stall, the couple couldn't come out right away and rather took their time leaving.  This is about the time that Manager threatened to call the police.  This sped up the process exponentially.

After leaving the bathroom the couple didn't leave, as most would ashamedly do, but rather decided to rack up a sweet little $150 tab with two friends over at table 91.  Of course they paid ever so gernously for their rendezvous by leaving Twin Tower a sweet ten-dollar tip - if you're doing the math that's a cool seven percent.  Apparently, their burning love is worth a whole lot to them.

Note to all men out there:  As a woman, I will let you know that doing me in the bathroom at Hooters isn't exactly the quickest way to a lady's heart.  I mean you could at least shell out $100 for a room at the Come On Inn.  They have Jacuzzis and shit there.  Yup, I'm going to go ahead and add Hooters' bathrooms to the list of place I don't ever want to have sex.  Even if I am wasted beyond belief.

19 November 2010

The Many Temperature Extremes of a Hooters Uniform

Sorry.  I suck.  I was all out of it and writers' blocky and then at my parents house with no internet.  Blah, blah, blah, excuses, blah, blah, like assholes, blah, blahditty, blah, blah.  Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.


It's suddenly that time of year when I'm asked about 938.67 times a day how cold I am.  The question presents itself in many different forms:
  •       "You've got to be cold right now."
  •       "Isn't it cold in that uniform?"
  •       "Don't they let you wear more in the winter?"
  •       "How are you not freezing right now?"
  •      "I bet you're freezing your ass off."

I'm sure you get the idea.  If you don't, well feel free to stop reading right about now.  Anyhooters, the simple answer to all the above questions and statements is no, I am in fact not cold.  Believe it or not while the outfit appears rather small - and it is - it's actually pretty freaking warm.  This is because Lycra, spandex and nylon are quite possibly the least breathable fabrics in the history of the world.  Second to armor of course which I imagine wasn't breathable at all.  All this limited breathability means that regardless of how small my uniform may seem I'm actually staying pretty warm.  Yes, that little uniform does not have me freezing my ass of.

What the uniform does afford however are some temperature extremes.  Simply, my legs are often hot while my arms are cold.  This is because my dreaded nylons keep my legs very warm while keeping them awkwardly tan looking.  Thanks for that.  So my legs are burning (exaggerating) and my poor bare arms are in danger of being lost to frostbite (double exaggerating).  There is no remedy for this.  It's a Hooters way of life.  Unless of course you're a Hooters that breaks conventional uniform standards and wears long-sleeved shirts in the winter.  Yes, some Hooters actually do that.  I'm going to go ahead and tell you now that you look like complete and total shit.  You're welcome.  You're even more welcome for the picture below in all it's shitty glory - it's unfortunately the best example I could steal off the Hooters Facebook page.  By the way, ladies, I apologize that you're still wearing the shorts from Hell.


I'll go ahead and just state the obvious now; the long sleeve shirt totally defeats one of the purposes of Hooters.  Do I really need to be more obvious?  Fine, the long sleeve shirts allow for no cleavage - unless your boobs miraculously start at your neck which would be freaky weird.  Even I find the lack of boobage disappointing.  Also, I think it makes chubbiness out of skinniness, which is really not an attractive look on anyone.  Not to mention the inherent oxymoron of wearing shorts and long sleeves, but that is probably another thing entirely.  Dear Hooters Girls, man up and avoid the long sleeve crap at all costs.  Trust me on this one.

I'm happy being half hot and half cold.  Besides, after two years you get used to that shit. 

08 November 2010

The Comfort of the Hooters Pouch

The pouch is a quintessential piece of the Hooters Girl uniform.  It's that sort of awkward hanging apron that we're all forced to wear.  Nothing about it is attractive because it's the one piece of the uniform that's actually utilitarian.  Out of the whole uniform it's the only thing that actually serves a purpose besides showing off my body.  Of course being that's it's also the one thing that gets in front of showing off said body Hooters has kindly made it as small as possible.  You're welcome. 

I get the joy of shoving everything I need into the one little pouch - also lovingly known as the "Hooters penis" - slung around my waist.  This is not always easy.  Especially when it's a really busy and I'm trying to keep hundreds of dollars straight in the damn thing.  You see, I have to keep all the money I collect during a shift and then I pay Hooters (my sales minus my credit card tips) at the end of the day.  Usually servers have a nice little book to keep everything all organized.  Now I understand that even with a book all the cash can get a little crowded, but without it it's can be truly awful.  Of course that's the situation I'm in because a waiting book and a Hooters pouch don't really get along.  Hooters so kindly decided to design these little pouches so they are just ever so slightly larger than a typical serving book.  Yes, I could shove one in there, but then it's annoying as hell to get in and out and even more annoying as thing slaps against you over and over and over again as you run around the restaurant.

So what's a girl to do with this puzzle of organization?  I fold up a take-out menu and put all my money and credit card receipts in it.  It's a really simple solution to a really annoying problem.  It might not be the best solution, but it's the better than the alternative - shoving all the cash and receipts into the thing.  Yes, some girls just throw all that money into their pouch.  These are generally the same girls that complain about their tips being off at the end of the night.  I wonder if there is a pattern here?

Anyway, all this ranting serves to prove how much I despise the pouch.  Or rather how much I THOUGH I despised the pouch.  Last week I began training as a bartender.  Now if you've been with for me for a while, you'll know that I was supposed to be bar trained LAST June.  And I'm just getting trained now.  But whatever, the lack of followthrough in this situation isn't the point of today's post.  The point is that as a bartender I don't have to wear a pouch.  This is because bartenders actually get their very own till.  Feel free to comment on how awesome that makes me.

While having a till makes me feel more important, not having a pouch makes me feel a lot more naked naked.  After wearing the pouch for over two years I now realize how much coverage that annoying little thing actually offers.  As bothersome as it is, the pouch is just perfect for covering the...er...camel toe.  Suddenly, being without it, I realize just how important the pouch actually is.  I feel as if I've just turned ten and my mom decided I was too old for my favorite blankie.  Yes, the pouch is my safety blanket and I'm not afraid to admit it.

I'm hoping that the added income of bartending will quickly replace the comfort of the pouch.  I might need a twelve-step program.  

06 November 2010

Receipt Art: October 30, 2010

I decided to clean out my pouch today at work.  Waiting pouches and aprons just seem to collect things and everyone once and while it just feels right to get all that shit out of there.  Not only did I find several dollars I didn't know I had - score - but I also found an amazing receipt art that I had totally forgotten about.  I'm going to go ahead and say now that this is the type of receipt art I would only give to specific people; it's specialized and certainly not for everyone.  I'll go ahead and let you figure out why.


Yes, this is exactly the right sort of receipt art for a group of gentleman that order nine Big Daddies, a Bud Light Pint and a double whiskey coke.  Not only are those probably the cutest ghosts I've ever drawn (no offense previous ghosts), but they also are enjoying some delicious libations.  I am especially a fan of the ghost flying while drinking.  I'm not sure on the rules of ghost intoxication, but that might not be allowed.  Sort of like a DUI.  I guess that would be an FUI - Floating/Flying Under the Influence.  Even I'm ashamed how lame that just was.

05 November 2010

Sauce is NOT a Winner

After all that annoying nagging I didn't place in the Hooters costume contest.  I was really hoping I could justify all my posting, more posting and extra posting with an exciting announcement proclaiming my awesomeness and increased bank balance.  I don't get to say any of that.  Tragic.

What I will say is that I am not bitter at my loss and I offer a heartfelt congratulations to those who placed.  I can't really say that your costumes were better - there were quite a few awesome costumes.  But I don't think anyone really thought it was actually a costume contest to begin with.  That's another matter entirely however.

Now one of you needs to win those wings for a year so we can proclaim victory for someone involved in my life in some way.  I wish you all luck.

I shall now entertain you with a few photos of my Halloween goodness to make up for my lack of winnerness.


Yes, my dear friends, that is the infamous Dreamy and there we both are in our Halloween finery.  I am pretty sure we are boing to be Buzz and Woody for the next five to ten years.  Guess I'd better stay in shape.

Please note the working pull string I created for Dreamy.  Yes, it actually retracts.  I clearly am insane.  Also note the not so perfect lines on the sleeves.  I let Dreamy do those himself.  This was clearly a poor idea.  I love you, but your costume making skills simply aren't up to par.


I love these effing costumes.

02 November 2010

Sauce Gets Interviewed

Recently, I was featured on a really cool website that profiles women and their many jobs.  Meant to empower women as it explores females in the workplace, the website features interviews posted several times a week.  Monday, I was featured and I present the interview below.  Rather than linking to the website - as it includes my name and photo - I'll simple copy and post the interview.  For those of you curious about the actually website, it's called "I Want Her Job."  Feel free to check it out if you're so inclined!

And please forgive the HORRIBLE variations in font.  Blogger is being totally lame and not posting it as I've edited it.  You hear that, Blogger, you're being effing lame.




Sauce is a “World Famous Hooters Girl” and certified corporate trainer Hooters, Inc.. In February of 2009, Sauce started blogging about her life at Hooters on her site, girlandguitar.blogspot.com, which has attracted a significant following. On the site, Sauce aims to change the stigma that the life of a Hooters girl is degrading to women. Instead, she strives to empower women while sharing juicy stories about the things she sees (and experiences) as a waitress at the restaurant. Her blogging even led to an opportunity for her to write for the bi-monthly Hooters Magazine. She is the first Hooters Girl to be asked to write for the publication (sold both in stores and on newsstands nationwide), and her regular contributions will begin to appear with the November/December issue. When she’s not waitressing, training or blogging, Sauce enjoys playing the guitar, reading classics and working on craft projects.

Sauce
Occupation: World Famous Hooters Girl / Certified Corporate Trainer, Hooters
Websites: girlandguitar.blogspot.com
hooters.com
hootersmagazine.com
Education: Bachelor’s Degree, Marketing
The University of Montana

How did you discover your current job?

I joke that I didn’t find my job as a Hooters Girl — it found me. I had recently graduated and was unemployed after a post-graduation trip to Europe. I found myself entertaining two male friends visiting from out of town and Hooters seemed like a natural stop before heading to a Griz [the local college football team] game. I was offered a job over a plate of boneless wings that Saturday and was training by Monday.

I fell into the blogging much the same way — by accident. I decided to start writing the blog more as an exercise in personal expression. Eventually, I began focusing more on my life as a Hooters Girl and noticed a big increase in readership. While it was widely positive, I also realized there were many negative responses to the world of Hooters. I realized the writings of an intelligent, real Hooters Girl could do some small part in breaking the stereotypes related to the job. Suddenly, I was the blogging Hooters Girl.

I was contacted by Aubrey Gray and Jonathan Chaffin of Hooters Magazine in August of this year. Funnily, my initial response was to ask if they were joking. I was quickly reassured that no, they weren’t joking, and I was offered a recurring column in the magazine. My first piece is being released in the November issue.

What has been your path so far to get you where you are today?

Hooters offers a lot of opportunities for you to personalize your job. While being a Hooters Girl is a waitressing position at its core, it is just as reliant on your ability to creatively serve and entertain your guests. My creativity has not only made me thrive as a Hooters Girl, but it’s also the crucial piece to the success of my blog.

I also like to think of myself as the type of person that goes above and beyond whenever possible. Whether you’re a waitress or a marketing executive, hard work and initiative never goes unnoticed. I am extremely dedicated to my work — whatever it may be.

Also, while I am not in a position that requires a degree, I think my marketing coursework has helped me extensively at Hooters, and it definitely helped me on my blog.

Was there any one situation that helped you along your way?

Not so much at work, but my blog was featured as a Blog of Note in June of 2010. This means that it was the featured blog for Blogger. This attributed to a HUGE jump in my readership — sending me from around 100 views a day to nearly 500. In fact, for two straight days my readership was at nearly 10,000. It really put my blog on the map, and the positive response was amazing.

What is your typical day like? Does it ever change?

I work five to six days a week at Hooters. I generally work day shifts that run from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Usually this means that I wake up early to go to the gym. Regardless of my schedule, I find that if I work out before I go to work, it makes my whole day just feel better. Then, of course, I get ready for work. All the “getting ready” Hooters requires is probably the part of my job that I like the least. I have to be looking my best every day, regardless of how I’m feeling. This includes having my hair styled, wearing an appropriate amount of makeup and having an immaculate uniform, which can be a challenge when working with wings. Then it’s off to work, which — minus the random outbursts of hula hooping, singing, dancing and miscellaneous fun — is pretty much just the typical day of any server.
I do, however, take LOTS of notes at work for my blog. I’ll jot down situations, quotes or whatever else sparks an idea. Then when I get home, I try to at least start a post as I find the sooner I write things down, the funnier and more vivid they seem to be.

What is the most rewarding part of your job?

I love that at my job I can make a real connection with my customers. I don’t know of any other serving job where I would be so encouraged to actually sit down with my customers and get to know them. The key to Hooters is the fact that they strive to make every guest feel like a regular, regardless of whether they’ve been in one time or fifty times. They want their waitresses to know peoples’ names and their kids’ names and their dog’s name. It’s really about connection with people, and I think it’s something people really appreciate about Hooters. We offer one-of-a-kind service that stresses individualizing the experience.

I also feel personally rewarded when I see attitudes about Hooters change, whether from my blog or from a visit to the restaurant. Hooters faces a very obvious stereotype that doesn’t accurately reflect what it is. Reading a positive comment on my blog, or having a customer tell me I changed their mind about Hooters, is one of the best parts of my job.

What is the most challenging part?

The most challenging part is easily overcoming the judgment that is so commonly associated with Hooters. It’s a job that — unfortunately — stereotypes. This is not so much because a Hooters Girl is a certain thing or a certain type of woman, but rather because people have the wrong understanding of what a Hooters Girl is. I understand why the stereotype exists, but I dislike that the stereotype is perpetuated on rumors rather than personal experiences.

What is one lesson you’ve learned in your job that sticks with you?

My job has taught me so much about people and how to deal with them. While it’s one thing to deal with someone from behind an office desk, it is totally another to serve them. I think the lessons I’ve learned about customer service are just as valuable as some of the things I learned in my college classes.

What do you feel is the biggest challenge for women today, particularly females in your industry?

In my industry it is definitely challenging to deal with the stereotype that I am not a smart or educated woman. I think women across many industries have to prove themselves in a lot of ways that men don’t necessarily have to. This is especially true at Hooters.

Who are your role models?

In addition to my mother, I look up to a lot of the women who work at the corporate level for Hooters. The vast majority of women in upper-level positions at Hooters began their careers as Hooters Girls. I like knowing that with enough drive there are a lot of lifetime career opportunities with Hooters.

Is there a quote or mantra that you live by?

I’m not sure that I live by a quote or specific mantra, but I always say that I am “blindly optimistic.”  To me this means that I see a positive in pretty much any situation. I think this has not only helped me overcome a lot of hard situations, but but also it has led me to have a fierce drive even when things seem especially difficult.

What advice do you have for girls who want to be in your industry?

As far as being a Hooters Girl, I tell all my trainees that the most beautiful part of a Hooters Girl is not her face, but her personality. It’s a common misconception that being a Hooters Girl is about a look, but the personality is definitely the most import thing for success.

As far as with blogging, it’s important to maintain consistency both in you writing and in your posting. Regularity is the key to growing a following. And being funny doesn’t hurt either.

Is there anything else you would like to add?

It might be important to note that I did indeed have a job for a few months related directly to my major. I sat behind a desk 40 hours a week at the corporate office for a popular Mongolian restaurant here in town. They paid me $10.25 an hour, and I was miserable trying to impress them. It was an impossible task. Eventually, due to budget cuts, they let me go, and I returned to Hooters. I realized then how much I loved my job and how at 20-something it wasn’t that important if I didn’t have the big marketing job I expected myself to have right out of college. I’ll have that one day, but for now I couldn’t be more happy.

29 October 2010

Receipt Art: October 28, 2010

All this talk of Halloween cliches made me realize we all missed two major ones: ghosts and graveyards.  So what did I do?  I got all awesome and combined the two.  I suppose you do need graveyards to have ghosts after all.  Please enjoy.


It has come to my attention that none of my Halloween characters are very scary.  They most certainly are freaking adorable though.  This is easily my favorite Halloween receipt yet and I'd even go so far as to say it might be top five all time.  ALL EFFING TIME.  That's how much I love those little ghosts.  Is it possible to cuddle a spirit?

In addition to my receipt wonder, I am proud to announce that my crazy receipt drawings have finally inspired one of my trainees.  You see I always show my trainees my way of receipt personalization as well as what other girls do.  Most probably think I'm insane and then go ahead and just circle every possible thing with hearts and sign the bottom with a quick thank you like everyone else does.  It's cool, I understand that I'm a freak.

Then, in the trash, I found this (don't worry, it was gently laying on the top).  Yes, a trainee has made her own receipt masterpiece.  It may not be the most amazing thing ever, but that's not the damn point.  The point is she took the time to make it one of kind.  I am such a proud Mama Hoot.  My crazy is wearing off.

28 October 2010

To Bad Days

Today was one of those days that just make you feel unappreciated.  You know, the type of days that no matter what you do right it's just not enough.  Let me start by saying that I know I was on top of my game today.  I say that with confidence because I have an amazing way of always delivering great service regardless of my mood.  I come to work to work and I'm not going to let anything get in the way of that.  So long story short, I always try to give amazing service because it's my job to give amazing service and I take that seriously.

For some reason, regardless of my great service, it was a 10% kind of day.  Now this wouldn't bother me if I was being slow or being rude or just generally sucking.  I'd know if I was effing up and I'd understand the shitty tip.  It only bothers me when I know I'm doing a good job.  It bothers me even more when you take the time to compliment my service and then leave two bucks on a fifty-dollar tab.  That's just not cool.  As nice as your compliments are, my landlord won't accept them as a rent payment.

Yes, today was that kind of day.  It was almost as if every customer was a part of some "piss Sauce off" conspiracy.  I just imagine them all gathering outside the door making their plans.  There would be a strategy board with little ships and shit on it and one evil mastermind of a customer is pushing them all around and laughing as the mini armada carried my money away.  It's all very dark and awful.  With a plan like that I could have been shitting golden checks for a million dollars each and people still would have tipped me nothing.  I clearly couldn't win.  Everyone was just being that sucky.

Then I had a gentleman come in who decided to turn my day around.  I gave him the same service I had given every table - great service.  We chatted a bit and I brought his food and he was happy.  I did nothing out of the ordinary or different from any other table in my section.  Naturally, I was expecting the theme of the day to continue as I handed him his bill.  Then he stopped me.

Nice Man:  "You know I was having a really, really shitty day until I came in here.  I mean it seriously had started like total shit.  You really turned it around for me."

I was floored.  Here was this man complimenting me just for being me.  He continued.

Nice Man:  "You just seem to have a really great attitude and a very genuine personality.  It's nice to see that these days.  Too many people are angry and unhappy.  You really made my day.  I can honestly tell you it's going to be a better day just thinking about your attitude.  It's really refreshing."

And just like that my day was made as I made someone else's.  In addition to his compliments, he left me a nice 25% tip, but it wasn't about the money.  His sincerely kind words just made me feel better because he had appreciated the person I am.  He made my day better without even knowing it.

He also reminded me why I love my job.  Thanks, dude.

27 October 2010

Receipt Art: October 21, 2010

Since it's getting closer and closer to Halloween my receipt arts have been getting all kind of spookified (yes, I know that's not a real word).  Now I could just draw the same pumpkins and whatnot over and over again but I would get entirely bored with myself.  So I decided to take a few suggestions from my blog readers and ended up drawing a spider theme for J. Franklin Evens.  It was fairly legit.

And then, there in the comments, it was pointed out that I neglected to include the cliche black cat in my over-the-top, super-Halloween receipt.  Mira-Cole pointed out, "You seem to also have forgotten the black cat chiche. Or even better, a black car sticking it's head out of a pumpkin. Double Halloween goodness, fear it."  First off, you're right, Mira-Cole.  Second, your last sentence makes me fell all sorts of happy; it practically reeks of me.


So here it is, Mira-Cole, in all its glory.  I thank you.



Check that shit out while ignoring my not so photogenic carpet.  Yes, that is a rather nonscary cat poking out of that pumpkin.  I think what he lacks in the ability to induce fear he more than makes up for in cuteness.  Just look at those little paws and pumpkin top turned hat.  Clearly adorable.


Please feel free to ignore my horrid attempt at a spooky tree.  It looks a lot more like a deformed witch hand than any tree I've ever seen.  It just looks so very sad.  Scary trees are clearly not my forte. 


And yes, I included that spider again for you, J. Franklin Evens.  Consider it a blog-insider thing.  


I also got a nice little note on one of my napkins from two music teachers in town for a convention.  Naturally I had been all fancy and drawn a pretty sweet music themed receipt with notes and instruments and treble clefs and whatnot. 




Unfortunately for you, they took it with them which happens to so many of my best artworks.  Just imagine all the wonders you'll never get the chance to see.

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