30 March 2009

Running for a Cause

This summer I have decided to participate in a half marathon.  Now, I ran track in both high school and college but I was or in no way am a distance runner.  I was a jumper and 400 runner which basically means that most of the time the most I ran during a meet was about ten steps to a high jump bar, 80 feet to a triple or long jump pit, or once around the track (which I will have you know is a lot more painful than you may think when you consider it's an all out sprint).  So long story short I'm no distance runner.

So what would convince a very anti-distance runner (hey I did one season of cross country and hated the whole thing) decide to attempt to run 13.1 miles at one time?  Well besides the fact that it is a great way to maintain a killer bod, I have decided to run for a cause (no, a tight ass is not the cause I am talking about).  I'll be running for Youth Homes, a nonprofit which helps at-risk children in the state of Montana.  Last year the Run 4 Kids team raised over $41,000 for local children and I hope to help surpass that mark by raising at least $1,000 dollars.

I'd love if you'd donate to this amazing cause.  Please visit www.firstgiving.com/sauce to donate whatever you can!  Oh and this also gives my lazy butt more motivation to actually run so please donate!

23 March 2009

Getting Dumped Sucks

I was dumped last night, half over FACEBOOK.  Is that what the world has come to?!  Anyway, posts may be sporadic as I cry my eyes out the next few days.  I mean I know he was sort of an ass due to the nature of how he began the breakup process but I still really liked the guy (ok I loved the guy).  Here's to another relationship biting the dust...

19 March 2009

Damn Right I'm Smart!

Every Wednesday our restaurant hosts its own trivia extravaganza loving referred to as "Are You Smarter Than a Hooters Girl?".  Now let me just start by saying that in most cases you probably are smarter than a Hooters Girl (disclaimer to those that may work at Hooters:  I realize you may be amazingly smart but judging by my own fellow Hooters Girls I totally meant the previous statement).  In our game you unfortunately don't get to match wits with most of the girls, you get to match wits with me.  That's right, I'm the MC and being that I'm the host of this event I get to write all the questions.

Basically the way it works is that we have three rounds of trivia.  Each round is mutually exclusive and contains ten questions that cover a broad scope of subjects and get increasing harder as the round progresses.  You are given two life lines; you may cheat or copy.  To cheat you ask your Hooters Girl who has no prior knowledge of the questions what the answer is - in my experience she is generally wrong.  If you wish to copy you get to ask me, your lovely host, the difference here is that I know all the questions and answers but that doesn't mean I'll tell you the right answer (I love watching people try to figure out if I'm telling the truth).  If you win a given round you win a $20 Hooters gift certificate.

Now the best part of all this is that I love that I can stump people.  I take pride in coming up with really hard questions or really easy questions that you just can't remember the answers to.  

For example last night I asked, "What does a plant cell have that an animal cell doesn't?"  Answer, cell wall.  Now only one person in the whole restaurant got this right without copying, she was ten and had just learned this in 4th grade science.  I even had a neurosurgeon try and tell me that I was wrong and that all cells have a cell wall so I googled it and showed him.  That's right I stumped a neurosurgeon with a 4th grade science question.

Trivia night has been a huge hit for us and it's made Wednesday one of our busiest nights of the week.  Last night though I really realized why I love to do it.  I had a guy come up to me afterward and say, "I've been to many, many Hooters and this is the best one I've ever been to.  Your trivia is great."  It's just so nice to be appreciated!  So next time you think you're really smart remember that you might not be smarter than this Hooters Girl - even if you're a neurosurgeon. 

13 March 2009

Running for Wings

So if you're gonna run a half marathon (13.1 miles for those of you non-runners) what better way to end it than with wings?! Well if you like Hooters and running than the Hooters to Hooters Half Marathon may just be the race for you.

I was pretty freaking excited about this concept when I fist came across it online. Being an ex-collegiate track athlete and one of those "running freak" type people the idea of the Hooters has a half marathon really got me going (don't get too excited, no dirty stuff).

The race, run in Fort Myers, Florida, starts at the local Hooters, meanders through local neighborhoods and includes six bands dispersed throughout the course as well as plenty of Hooters Girls turned water girls to quench the thirst of parched runners. Perhaps the best part of the race lies at the finish line. In addition to the typical post race fare of Gatorade and bananas racers can also indulge in delicious Hooters wings and beer. Pretty cool right?!

In its second year, the race - which was run on March 1st - attracted more than 700 entrants including at least 200 who signed up the morning of the event. Oh and it was a charity event too because Hooters is just cool like that. Next year I'd love to make my way to Florida to compete in this great event; I wonder if they allow you to run in the orange shorts?

11 March 2009

The Life of a Tall Girl

I am what could be described as a girl of above average height. I am nearly 5'11 (no I am not 6 foot no matter what you think) and it can make life super frustrating sometimes.

First off, finding pants is a nearly impossible thing. I can't just walk into a store and pick up a pair of pants and walk out even if they're long length. One of my biggest pet peeves of all time is when a shorter girl says, "Oh my God, I totally know what you mean - I can never find short enough pants." OK, good for you, but last time I checked there is this thing called hemming and I'm pretty sure any dry cleaner or seamstress can do it. Let me just get out my magic pants lengthen wand because last time I checked getting rid of some fabric is easier than magically adding more. Wow, that felt good to get off the chest!

Next, every tall girl can attest to the fact that you will 9 times out of 10 look like a total creeper in group photos. I am constantly relegated to the back and seem to be just a head that hangs out over my average-sized friends' shoulders. I mean it's a good looking head but to bad that sexy outfit is covered up!

OK, being tall isn't all bad but it can suck when I want to wear cute shoes and Joe Schmo in a bar has to make some witty comment he thinks is original (trust me, it isn't original). I do have a amazing long legs that look great in shorts and skirts but finding dress pants is one painful experience. And as thin as I am when I stand next to five Hooters Girls that are 5'5 and under I'm going to look like a big-boned Amazon woman no matter what.

Just so everyone knows, I do love being tall but a girl still needs to vent now and again!

09 March 2009

My Worst Enemy: Nylons

I hate wearing nylons. This is especially true of the lovely tan nylons every Hooters Girl around the country proudly sports. That's right, for those of you who thought we all just had amazingly shiny legs I hate to disappoint but it's all hosiery (sorry to ruin the facade). And it's hosiery that all of us Hooters Girls generally despise.

As a girl that has very long legs that she loves very, very much I find the fact that I have to cover them up with nylons slightly sad. Yes, I realize that I probably wouldn't want to wear the shorts without the nylons (they are mighty short) but that doesn't make me hate the nylons any less. Mostly my distaste for the nylons comes from the fact that they always seem to run at less than convenient times in less than convenient places.

Today for example I was enjoying a particularly slow Monday (snore, yawn). Well even on a slow Monday you can run your ass off because odds are you'll have half of the tables in the restaurant. So I'm running back and forth bringing wings, taking orders and generally trying to stay busy when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window. There to my horror was a very unsightly, very large run in my nylons that happened to be right at that spot where your legs meet your butt. Now normally if this area of myself was slightly exposed I wouldn't mind so much but the beauty of pantyhose is that they suck everything in ever so slightly so when you get the right sized hole in the right spot you bulge out like you ate too many fried twinkies. Lord knows how long I was running around and bending over with my ass hanging out for all to see; at least I put on a good show.

So I hate nylons and yet I wear them everyday and spend money on them all the time (at 4 bucks a pop I'd hate to know what I spend on hosiery annually). Yet they do keep my legs looking summertime tan year-round and I always look extra shiny. Thanks nylons, I love to hate you so much.

Oh and I'm still without my laptop so posts have been rather sporadic. It seems the old Dell just can't handle the internet so well anymore.

03 March 2009

Hooters is NOT a Crime.

After my post yesterday, I thought something my roommate said to me today was incredibly timely. In the midst of a story about one of the doctors she works under for her medical assisting internship it somehow came up that his daughter works with me at Hooters.

"His daughter even works at Hooters. He is so ashamed of her and what she does." Whoa, back it on up! My roommate in an increasingly disgusted tone had put down my place of employment - I repeat, my roommate. She then continued to talk about my coworker inserting bits about Hooters here and then where it proved her point of how awful said coworker is according to her (for the record, I think this coworker is an incredibly sweet girl).

While she vented I screamed inside, "I have a degree, you are in a two year certificate program and you are not and never will be better than me!" Luckily my ability to show some respect outweighed my urge to knock her down a peg, or two, or ten.

So where in the hell does this anti-Hooters bullcrap come from? I mean our shorts may be short but they're not that short! I wish I could personally invite all Hooters haters to try it out and then create an opinion based on actual experience rather than assumption (as much as I want to I will refrain from using a cliche based on the word assumption). I have a feeling they'd actually like the Daytona Wings...

On a side note, my dear MacBook Pro had to be sent back to Apple today and I have been forced back to the old Dell. I don't know what happened to my baby but I have a feeling one of my roommates stepped on it (the idea alone pains me). I hope it's doing well in the back of some UPS truck somewhere. Get well soon, dear friend.

02 March 2009

Tales of the Hula Hoop

Today was another interesting day at work.  It began slow, even for a Monday, so the early part of my shift was filled with side work - you'd be amazed at the places you'll find wing sauce on a highchair.  Then, as it was nice out, me and one of my fellow Hooters Girls brought back the tradition of hula hooping out on the corner that had been designated to us in the fall.

Our Hooters store is located on one of the busiest streets in town so there is always plenty of traffic for our hula hooping.  Generally we get a very good response including waves, horns, yells, boys hanging out car windows, and even the occasional police siren.  Today, we had a first; we were flipped off.  That's right, a seemingly "nice" lady in a very nice vehicle decided to show us the bird (and this one didn't have tasty drums or flappers).  Apparently she doesn't like hula hooping - or orange shorts, I'm not sure which.

This reminded me however of an incident last October when the same coworker and I were hula hooping on the same corner.  As we were innocently swinging our hips and waving to cars as they passed by a woman walked across the street from Jiffy Lube.  She was middle aged and I distinctly recall her purple sweatsuit.  We smiled and said hello and she immediately berated   us for disgracing women and not appreciating ourselves.  I remember her saying, "I hope one day you both realize you're so much better than this.  Your body is not meant to sell fries."

My coworker and I were deeply offended by this and began discussing the stigma often associated with Hooters.  Essentially we reached the conclusion that most people who have such poor opinions of Hooters generally have never been there.  Yes, we wear little shorts and tight tops but that in way affects the service.  In fact I believe the service at Hooters is often far superior to that of many other establishments.  Unfortunately, the negative, closed minded individuals like purple sweatsuit lady only see the obvious and fail to appreciate Hooters for what it really is.  In the end however I don't care if she or any of the nay-sayers ever visit Hooters,  I'll just save my stellar service for the people that appreciate it.

Girl Lands Interview

Today I have an interview for a "big girl job."  You know, the type where you can wear slacks and cute business skirts rather than orange shorts?  Actually it's better than an interview, it's a SECOND interview and it's in my major which is a miracle in this economy.  Basically I'd have the amazing job of designing table tents, menu inserts, banners, and other promotional items for a national restaurant franchise headquartered locally.  So it's a sweet job, but it's not Hooters.

This leads me to ponder how much I want a "real" job.  The fact is I actually like Hooters in all it's tacky glory.  Yes, there are times I feel waiting tables is a waste of my graphic design and marketing skills (please don't judge my blog design based on this information, I just started and so far I'm here to talk not design) but that doesn't change the fact that I really do like it.

So what does it all come down to then?  How do I make the final decision:  Hooters Girl extraordinaire or design guru?  Basically it's going to come down to that old decision maker, money.  I mean yeah, I made over a $100 yesterday (a Sunday day shift) in tips, but that isn't always the norm and I'm not working anywhere close to full time even with open availability (how convenient for them).  I am a college grad that in effect still needs support from her parents to get by - thank goodness for supportive parents.

Final decision:  If I get the job I take it, but because of my love of Hooters I'll just keep that too.  I'll be like a super hero: conservative office babe by day, sexy Hooters vixen by night.  Now I'll just have to work on the quick phone booth change...

And yes, the prospective employer is well aware of my current position at Hooters.

The Girl Finds Fame...Locally

What has Hooters done for me lately?  Well if you ask around town you might hear about the Hooters Girl that sings.  That's right, she has long legs, plays the guitar on slow afternoon shifts, and opens your ranch for you so it doesn't squirt all over you!  Really though, I have gained some local notoriety as the singing Hooters Girl and people have even come in seeking me.  I'll sing for tables anytime and especially appreciate the often higher tips when I do.  One day in particular however it really paid off.

One busy Friday night I was serving a small section of tables allowing me to spend a little more time with my guests.  One of my tables had four guys and one of these gentlemen knew I could sing.

"You've got to hear this girl sing."  So I obligingly broke out the first verse and chorus of "Before He Cheats" for the guys (applause from surrounding tables) and go about severing my other tables.  

Coming back to check on the Big Daddy Bud Lights, one of the guys stopped me and said, "How'd you like to sing with a band?"  That got my attention.  Well long story short I now sing some sweet songs with a cover band and while it's not totally my thing it's still exposure and I don't even have to sing in orange shorts!

Now I just have to wait for that high-powered record exec to come in...

01 March 2009

Girl on the Job

So guess it's time to devote a blog to my wonderful post-graduation "career."  If the picture didn't give it away already, I am that all-American stereotype better known as the Hooters Girl - a position filled with lycra, ultra tan nylons, perfect hair, and boobs for days.  And yes, I repeat, I am a Dean's List college grad.

How did I become a Hooters Girl?  Well it all began with a saturated job market in an economic recession, took a two week stop at the horrible retail store the Buckle, and then ended up in the body bearing restaurant of Hooters.  Eight months later I'm still selling wings and beer to middle-aged men while wearing hot shorts.

The funny part is that I actually love my job, even though it is hardly as glamours as it may seem (on the same note it isn't as degrading as most think either).  Being the first Hooters in Montana the tips are hardly as grand as most Hooters Girls receive around the country and this is the hardest part.  Everyone assumes I'm bringing home hundreds of dollars every night, but I don't - not even close.  Really though I don't mind so much because I really do love the way being a Hooters Girl allows me to connect with people; it's one of the only jobs I know where I can actually sit with my customers and learn something about them.  I am not only a waitress but someone people actually like to talk to (I've heard that the friendliness of our girls in the Montana store is not always the norm, but hospitality really is a Montana way of life).  I hula hoop with kids, I draw on balloons, I sing on tables, I dance, I play stupid games like jenga and twister and I legitimately love every minute.

I love being that All-American, cheerleader, girl next door: The Hooters Girl.


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