07 November 2009

Hooters Girl Does Law School

"So basically, I've come to the decision to attend law school next year," I say, ending the usual spiel on my life plan.  Generally, the conversation begins with "you must be a student here at the University" and ends with me regaling my guests about how patent law really is totally awesome.  Then one of two things happens.  Either I am praised for my amazing foresight for future job security or I am laughed at.

"Now that is a great joke, Hooters Girl does law school!"

While I'm struggling to smile and say, "No really, that's my aspiration," most of me wants to kick the crap out of my close-minded, stereotyping, douche bag excuse for a customer.  You see, this has not happened once or twice, but enough times to make me feel like I'm living the real life version of "Legally Blonde."  However, rather than pink I get to wear glaring orange and I'm not going to law school with the goal to get back my frat boyfriend - I will gladly accept the hot yet smart law student falling for me in the end though.  Oh, and I'm not blonde.  But if "Legally Blonde" taught me anything it's that I too can overcome adversity and of course rely on the "bend and snap" for all my man hunting needs.  Thank you Reese Witherspoon.

All jokes aside, I find it utterly ridiculous that my job as a Hooters Girl somehow discredits my ability to become a lawyer.  Apparently, there is no such thing as a smart Hooters Girl.  If all Hooters Girls are attractive and stupid and I am a Hooters Girl then it can be logically deducted that not only am I reasonably attractive and stupid, but that girls that are attractive must also be stupid (forgive the logical reasoning thinking, studying for the LSATS is getting into my everyday life).  It seems that God or Buddha or Zeus or whoever handed out a bunch of sex appeal and a bunch of brains, but no one got both.  Sorry, I guess I double dipped.  I wasn't the only one.

My question is, why is a girl that is both beautiful and intelligent such a foreign concept?  Obviously, the answer is that it is possible for a girl to be both smart and pretty.  In fact, there are tons of girls that have killer looks and scored a perfect score on the analogies section of the SATs (go me!).  Yes, a girl can be hot and intellectual.  If this is the case, we are then led to question why a smart Hooters Girl is such a joke.  Evidently, it is assumed by some that all those smart pretty girls avoid Hooters like the plague.  All the smart pretty girls stay away and Hooters is left with a bunch of dimwitted, hot chicks that luckily know enough to sling in orders and scrunch their socks just so.  Smart girls don't demean themselves by working at, *GASP*, Hooters.  This of course is boldfaced lie.

While there are ditzy Hooters Girls, it is my belief that the vast majority are far more intelligent than they receive credit for.  For example, at my Hooters nearly 100% of the girls are in or have completed some or all of college.  Yes, I am one of these girls.  Not only do I don the famous orange shorts, I do so backed by a BS in Marketing.  Am I ashamed to be a Hooters Girl with a degree?  Not in the slightest.  You see, after graduating I did have a marketing job.  I worked at the corporate level for a Mongolian grill franchise doing marketing and design.  I made a lousy $10.50 an hour and I hated it.  Then I was laid off, a victim of that whole "last hired, first fired" thing.  Even at $10.50 an hour they couldn't afford to pay me in the current economy and they let me go.  So I found my way to Hooters.  Not only do I have a job that I love, I make tons more doing it and I've still had the ability to put my degree to work.  No, I'm not talking about marketing myself (clich√© shit I've heard before); I'm talking about helping market my Hooters restaurant through social media and innovative marketing techniques.  Yeah, Hooters let me do that.  Hooters let me be pretty and smart.  Oh, and news flash, being smart and witty at Hooters has a direct correlation to the tips I make.  I guess being smart really does pay.

Now I want to be that pretty and smart girl that goes to law school.  I want to be a Hooters Girl and a law student and be proud that I'm doing both.  In fact it is my belief that Hooters will help me immensely in my law school experience because Hooters teaches you about people.  Hooters teaches you to read people like a book and interact based on such observations.  Hooters teaches you about life.  So next time someone asks me if being a Hooters Girl is respectable position for a future law student (yes, that really happened) I will say what I always say: Yes.  See you on Capitol Hill.  Elle Woods and I will see you there in Legally Blonde 2.Ho


  1. Hey Sauce, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed reading your latest blog post. It has all the insight and wit that I've come to expect from your writing. You made some really good points in your commentary, especially about how Hooters Girls are unfairly stereotyped as being brainless and shallow. It amazes me how some individuals think they automatically know everything about a certain group of people based on their preconceived notions. It's such a shame that uninformed critics write off Hooters Girls as being materialistic and unintelligent, because I know some waitresses at my local Hooters who are both beautiful AND bright. I can tell that you are pretty smart too just from your writings and career plans. I sincerely hope everything works out for you in law.

    BTW, I wrote an article for my college's newspaper in defense of Hooters. I even brought a copy to Hooters and got some positive feedback from the servers there. If you'd like to read it, I can send it to you by e-mail. Keep up the great work!

  2. In this context, it would be "don" instead of "dawn." You don the famous shorts.

  3. I'd love to read your story, Zach! And as always thanks for all the positive feedback!!

    As for the spelling error, shit happens when you write and post shit at 2:00 a.m. At first I couldn't even find the error because I didn't remember writing that. Guess that shows how very awake I was ;)

  4. For some people, they only way they have to make themselves feel good is to try and bring other people down. That's pretty much the problem. At least you get to find out who they are more quickly.

  5. Why is it that just because a woman is beautiful that some men automatically assume that said woman cannot be intelligent? When that question has been answered, someone will finally solve the mystery of where all the socks that disappear in the washer/dryer end up going to.

    I have been served by a Hooters Girl who was saving for (and is now attending) Medical School. Another who did what you plan to do, go on to law school. You aren't alone in working where you work to achieve your ultimate goals.

    Keep up the posting.



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