13 July 2011

Evolution of Bathroom Graffiti

Among the many things in life that I think are incredibly stupid, scrawling words on the walls of bathroom stalls has to be near the top.  It just seems like an incredible waste of time.  I mean, I realize that given the situation you might find yourself in the bathroom for a somewhat lengthy amount of time, but it would never occur to me to use all that excess to write random shit all over someone else's property.  Lets get real here, way back in the day my mom told me that writing on walls was inappropriate and after what I imagine was several incidents involving brightly colored crayons, egg shell white walls, timeouts, and no dessert I got the idea.  Apparently some people missed out on that lesson.

Long ago at Hooters someone decided to leave their mark on one of our bathroom stalls.  Now to paint a mental picture, our stalls have tiled walls and rather heavy wooden doors.  These aren't metal walled cans, these are some nice bathrooms.  This however didn't stop one person from grabbing a pen and stating the obvious.

Really?  You're going to spend all that effort leaning forward while you drop a deuce to write Hooters?  Congratulations, you have the supreme mental skill to point out where you are.  Now originally this gem was not so carefully written in pen; thanks to whoever had the time to make sure we could read it by highlighting it in beautiful blue Sharpie.  We really needed that.

Then a few months later, this showed up.  Notice that the blue highlighter got to both.

Congratulations on your ability to not rhyme - I assume that's what you were going for.  I also appreciate your potty humor - pun obviously intended - in it's glorious lack of any real comedy.  I bet your friends only pretend to laugh at your jokes.

And then, more recently, someone decided to just go ahead and point out how lame these people are.

Of course by adding "FUCK OFF," you're really no better than the original defacers.  You're making a point about how dumb something is by doing it that something dumb.  That's some messed up, circular logic my friend.  Why don't you keep that pen in your pocket next time.

So next time you stop into Hooters Missoula be sure to check out the growing dialogue in the women's second stall.  I've got my fingers crossed for a graphic novel or an epic poem. 


  1. In the course of my public bathroom visiting, I've seen some pretty funny conversations between, I suppose, people who don't even know each other. My favourite was one my father told me he saw in a pub: "Bad spellers of the world untie." I think, in a way, that these scribbles are art (the ones that make you think or make you laugh). Hasn't it been said that the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls? Why not bathroom stalls?

  2. the bathrooms at my school have TONS of shit written all over them. the best are people who ask for life advice -- "should i dump him if he cheated on me?" -- etc. i think if you're seeking real guidance from a bathroom stall, you have bigger problems.

  3. Probably whoever started it had something they though was very witty but forgot the rest of it once they'd struggled through writing "Hooters." No, not rocket scientists, here.

  4. I've seen a lot of random crap scrawled over public toilet walls - mostly in the vein of "so-and-so woz ere 98" but my friends and I were somewhat amused by The Toilet Game we encountered in a festival porta-loo last weekend.

    You sit down and directly at eye level is an invite to play a (silly) game. What to play a game? Look up! (thereby you look where the instructions tell you) > look in the top left corner > check out the top of the hand gel dispencer > getting warmer! now look behind the loo seat > miss the message on the loo lid? > Congrats! You win The Toilet Game!

    Yes, it was totally and utterly pointless but in a semi-drunken state that was quality entertainment for five minutes!

  5. I love reading graffiti, it fascinates me. Here's a blank canvas for you to express yourself in total private in any way you want to. Depending on what's happening in the life of whoever has a chance to read this, you may be creating a catalyst that could be responsible for changing them in any sort of ways.

    It's kind of funny that this opportunity usually results in someone talking about how big their dick is.



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