Count on Fox to Make Hooters Look Skanky

Once again we've reached that amazing time of year when the new Hooters Calendar is available in stores around the country.  As always it's filled with hot chicks, months all out of order, more hot chicks, dates that go unnoticed and a few hot chicks.  Customers drool over the glossy, bikini-filled pages.  Hooters Girls critique.  You get the idea.

Feel free to enjoy the special double-sided cover of the 2011 Hooters Calendar.  I'm sure we can all approve.

Right after the calendar arrived in store, a man looking at the calendar had a look of confusion as he flipped through the pages.  I approached him ready to answer whatever question he could throw at me.

"I thought there were naked girls in the calendar!"

Awe yes, once again someone expects nudity.  This is an all too common question that always has the same answer.  A Hooters Calendar would NEVER feature nude girls.  It may imply nudity now and again, but you never see any actual nudity.  No nipple here, my friend.  Hooters may have an air of sexuality, but that's it.

"But the news blanked out the tops of the girls."

Wha?!  He then went on to explain to me how he saw the calendar girls on the news and that they had put privacy bars over some of the photos.  Naturally, this made him assume the calendar would be full of hot naked chicks.  I understood how he could be confused and of course as a good Hooters Girl blogger I did a little research when I got home.  I now present you the video in question.







Now seeing that would you expect a little nipple too?  Probably.  Miss March.  Not naked.  Cover girl.  Not naked.  Yup, that picture of the cover with a girl very obviously in a freaking bikini top got a red ribbon of shame.  Really, Fox News?  I mean it's even a patriotic themed bikini.  Shouldn't Fox be into that shit?  I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  It just seems silly to make something out of nothing.  Or to make nudity out of not-so-nudity.

Thanks for the press I guess?

Hooters and The Dirty

So a few posts back I showed off our very first Hooters calendar girl.  Basically, I went on and on about how wonderful my Brit s because she is pure awesome.  Of course when you mix awesome with hottness and personality, jealousy is quick to follow.  And what better place for jealousy than thedirty.com.

If you are unfamiliar with The Dirty, it's basically a gossip site that chooses to focus on real people.  They call it "reality blogging" by the very first "reality blogger" Nik Riche.  This is pretty much a fancy way of saying that jealous bitches and perverts send in pictures of girls (mainly) so anonymous internet creeps can blast people after Mr. Riche basically says he's too good for any chick under the sun.  Generally, a post will consist of a few drunken photos of a really hot chick and then countless comments about how her size 0 body is "fat" or that she needs "+2s" (douche talk for fake boobs) or countless other ridiculous things that make no sense in the real world.

Anyway, back to the point because I've notice I have a terrible talent for digression.  My favorite Hooters calendar girl ended up on this infamous excuse for a website.  Please enjoy the hilarity that ensues here!  Observe Nik Riche's response, "...Ladies if you are going to waste you money on +2’s please shoot for 450cc’s or higher.  Small +2’s just make your legs look fat like this girl."  Wow, Nik, insightful and full of substance!  You're a king doucher.

Our First Calendar Girl

So I meant to post this a long time ago, but in an LSAT induced stupor I apparently forgot.  Sort of like how I also forgot that eating and hygiene are important, but not quite as sad.  Anyhooters, I finally remembered for no clear reason other than the fact my brain is still not quite right and likes to come up with random crap at even more random moments.  Sorry, brain, I apologize.  But back to the point at hand.

This year, our Hooters had our first calendar girl.  Being that we've been open less than two years this was our first opportunity to have a girl in the calendar.  Brit certainly didn't disappoint.  In fact she looks pretty effing hot.  Plus she actually has a personality.  So pretty much she can be summoned up as awesome.  Check her out here, or on Thanksgiving.  That's right she's actually ON Thanksgiving in the the calendar.  EPIC.

Naturally, people can't just be excited for Brittney; they have to have totally off base opinions that make them look really sad and jealous.  And obviously the best place to put such opinions is anonymously on the Internet.  Yeah, yeah I'm all anonymous and Internety too, but whatever you know exactly what I effing mean. 

After Brit appeared in the calendar, a local independent newspaper ran a story on her inclusion that you can read here.  The story was pretty nice and basically said what every Hooters customer already knew - that Brittney was in the calendar.  Of course the comments section was littered with both positive and negative responses because everyone loves to be an online critic.  Please enjoy some of my favorite little gems:

"...an emaciated and bikini clad woman in a submissive fuck-me pose always just screams "GOOD NEWS!!!"

"HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT?????? PULEEEEZE! BEING FEATURED IN A FAULTY, OUT OF ORDER CALENDER? WOW, WHAT TALENT! A NEW LOW FOR WOMAN KIND."  Aren’t the all caps a nice touch, really makes you seem more intelligent I think - or like a 12-year-old girl.  Either way.

"...i was surprised to see a set of midsized hooters in a hooters calendar, that's all. you know, like you don't see many mid sized whitetail bucks in "antlers" magazine, only huge racks with wide spreads."  Wait, did you just compare a woman to a "mid sized whitetail buck"?  Oh Lord, yes, yes you did.

Of course there was plenty of good opinions too.  Especially after I told all the Hooters Girls about it and we shamelessly promoted our gorgeous Brit through even more somewhat anonymous comments.  We stick together like that; it's just what we do.  Welcome to Hooters!