10 July 2009

Hooters Understand

It seems that Hooters, much like every other unoriginal business in the country, has resorted to exploiting our trying economic times to sell shit to the masses. A poster declaring Hooters deep love for profit guests’ wallets has started appearing all over the restaurant - on the doors, the wait stations, the single wall not covered in random crap. Apparently, nothing says economic stimulus like cheap beer and overpriced appetizers.

It also seems the nothing says economic stimulus like glaring grammatical error. Let me take a moment to commend Hooters for so actively promoting the stereotype of a restaurant full of stupidity with a dash of ditsy for good measure. My college degree appreciates being cheapened by elementary grammar mistakes.

“Hooters understand the trying times of this economy and wish to help!”

Wait; let me get this straight, Hooters understand? Whose hooters exactly understand? Apparently, there is a girl out there somewhere with boobs that are not only capable of thinking, but have the ability to understand the complexities of an economic recession. I would like to make it my life’s mission to meet these genius, Albert Einstein tits.

Dear, dear Hooters, if you are doing any understanding as an entity perhaps “Hooters understands” would have been a little more appropriate. You see there is a little letter we call ‘s’ hanging out there at the end. It’s the squiggly looking one that looks like a snake. S is for snake! Good thing I passed the first grade under the superior tutelage of Mrs. Minner.

In my complete and utter disgust with this poster I decided to point out its obvious mistake to one of the girls at work, “Did you see that poster? So obviously wrong.”

Silence, ticking, crickets, awkward pause, “Oh I know, that girl is so like off. I mean just sorta weird looking.”

“Um no, the mistake I’m talking about is in the writing.”

“Oh wow, stimulus is spelled wrong. I totally see it now.”

*Ugh* “Actually that’s right, but there should be an s at the end of understand.”

Silence, ticking, crickets, awkward pause, “Oh.”

Sadly, she was not the only one to not realize this mistake. Mostly obviously, our managers who approved the poster didn’t notice this mistake either. And don’t even get me started on the so-called designer who put this together because not only do you have a horrible eye, you probably failed English several times. Don’t worry; my hooters understand that you’re a dumbass.

On a side note, the girl in the poster is wearing the new shorts that my hooters mostly definitely approve of.


  1. Well, the designer obviously had the grammar checker turned on and it assumed that "Hooters" is plural, so "understand" and "wish" would be correct. And some people just automatically accept the suggested changes because computers are never wrong. {sarcasm}

  2. Ahhha!! I love this. My managers misspell stuff all the time!

  3. no, no, no- harry potter comes out on tuesday- so s is for SNAPE.

  4. I love the you used a Harry Potter reference on my blog. Harry Potter nerd? Oh yeah, count me in!

  5. Go have a look at the Hooters Girl Hall of Fame just linked to on the Mayor's site, and on the side of the page you'll read:

    "Since the first Hooters opened in Clearwater Florida in 1983 literally hundreds of thousands of woman have become Hooters Girls".

    Sadly, there is no such thing as "literally hundreds of thousands of woman".



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