01 July 2009

The Hooters Truths: Volume III

For you returning readers, you are probably familiar with the Hooters Truths. The Hooters Truths is a continually growing list of things that are ever present in the life of a Hooters Girl. The truths can be funny or disturbing or mundane, but all hold unavoidable truth in common.

As a Hooters Girl you WILL:
1. Increase your flexibility through the game of limbo. Unless you are tall, then they will just make you hold the bar.
2. Hate chicken.
3. Find that good posture makes you appear skinnier.
4. Be asked if you are on the menu and available for order.
5. Realize that everyone really does have a “good side” and a “bad side” when it comes to taking pictures. It will be your goal to be on this side always.
6. Either love or hate fried pickles. There will be no in between.
7. Hear the words “naked” and “wet” together far too often.
8. Love Fridays and special occasions because it means you can wear black.
9. Babysit.
10. Never walk to your car alone.
11. Upsell like it’s your job because according to management, it is your job.
12. Be asked by friends if they can try on your shorts, usually by friends with penises.
13. Eat TONS of salad.
14. Have an imaginary boyfriend/fiancé/husband or seamlessly mention your real one in conversation to handle creeps.
15. Know just to how to wear your shorts to best combat muffin top.

1 comment:

  1. 5, I learned this awhile back. Its funny how I squirm my way around to my good side in any picture taking moment.

    Would you like to exchange blog links?





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