27 March 2010

A Little Bit About Sauce

Our swimsuit contest is coming up in the beginning of April.  I signed up.  This is a decision I nearly immediately regretted.  First off it's really not my style.  It's also insanely expensive when all is said and done.  Being my father's daughter, I hate spending money.  He's Dutch, he taught me cliché, Dutch cheapness amazingly well.  In addition he also taught me not be a quitter.  So here I am somewhat begrudgingly preparing for my swimsuit contest debut (unless you count bikini skiing contest, I already have that championship under my belt).

This post however is not directly about the bikini contest.  Rather, it is about the questions we will be asked during the bikini contest.  In an effort to show that Hooters Girls do indeed have a personality, management has decided to include a small interview question to the contest.  This will either be the greatest idea ever or an incredible disaster.  Luckily the questions contain nothing of actual substance so we should be just fine.  We wouldn't want to challenge anyone.

Here I will present you with the both the questions (of which we will be asked two or three) and my own answers.  I figured this could be an interesting journey into the life of Sauce.  Or it will be boring.  Whatever, you'll read it anyway.

1.   Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Are we looking at this realistically or ideally?  Realistically, I hope to be a lawyer starting a family.  I hope to be successful both professionally and personally.  Mostly, I hope I'm happy and devastatingly in love.
Ideally on the other hand, I hope that I'm a singer that was successful enough to drop out of law school and devote myself to my music.  I still hope I'm happy and devastatingly in love.

2.   What' the worst pickup line you've heard at Hooters?
"So, you want my hotel room number or what?"  He proceeded to leave the room number on his receipt for me.  Seriously.

3.   What's your favorite word?

4.   If you had a billion dollars what would you do with it?
Honestly I'd probably just save it all.  I have a very hard time spending money, even when I have a lot of it.  Saving money gives me a weird high so saving a billion dollars would probably give me a crazy insane high.  Oh and I'd donate a lot to Parkinson's research because seeing my grandmother die from it was one of the worst things I've ever seen.

5.   Do you have any nicknames?  If so what?
Sauce, Hot Sauce and any variation therein.  This is a (somewhat) logical progression from my actual name that can be mildly confusing as it's anything but common.  I've also been called Big Dutch because I am tall and Dutch, but it makes people that don't know me think I'm obese and Dutch.  Since it's less than flattering I try to ignore that one.

6.   Who's your favorite Professional Athlete?
Current:  Usain Bolt.  I am a track nerd.  Plus, he gives tall sprinters hope.  Thank you.
All-time:  John Elway.  DON'T HATE!

7.   Describe your dream man.
First off he's tall.  I'm talking 6'3+.  I like to wear heels.  This is a no compromise issue.  But mostly he makes me laugh, makes me think and makes me feel loved.  He is trusting and trustworthy.  He is driven to be successful both personally and professionally.  And he's really, really cute.  Tall, dark and handsome?  Yes please!

8.   What's your favorite feature of yourself?
My quick wit.  Or my extremely long legs.  Either way.

9.   What was your worst dating experience?
I've had many less that ideal dating experiences.  It's hard to choose, but my worst would be the guy who took me to an Italian restaurant and used his hand to wind his linguine around his fork.  Watching him wrap those noodles around and around and around will forever be etched in my brain.  But I did date a guy who lived in a doublewide with his parents and was unemployed.  Obviously picking my worst is a hard choice.

10.   Have you cheated on a test?
I've never cheated to get ahead on a test, but I have helped others cheat.  I took Native American Studies 100 with a very serious boyfriend and he thought studying was overrated.  After he scored quite poorly on his first test of the class, I helped him cheat on the two remaining exams.  It was a large lecture class and we'd sit a seat apart with our feet touching.  I would then tap his foot to correspond with the answers; one tap for A, two for B, three for C and so on.  He got As on the remaining tests.

11.   What is your favorite activity to do at Hooters?
I love playing my guitar at work.  I don't know any other restaurant that would encourage me to do that.

12.   Describe yourself in three words. (for the record I effing hate this question)
Tall, glamorous nerd.

13.   What's the weirdest thing that has happened to you while working at Hooters?
Nylons man.   Enough said.

14.   Describe your first kiss.
I was almost seventeen.  You can call me a late-bloomer.  It was slobbery and awful.  I mean really slobbery.  Luckily, my second kiss let me know the saliva issue was clearly not my fault.

15.   What did you want to be as a child?
When I was really little I wanted to be President.  Then I decided I'd be a meteorologist.  This dream ended when I went to the National Weather Service at fourteen and every employee was an overweight guy at a computer.  I realized I didn't fit in.

16.   What is your favorite food at Hooters?
If calories didn't exist I'd say the Strip Cheese Sandwich.  Other than that I'd say oysters on the half shell.

17.   What is the most memorable day that you've ever had?
Winning the State Championship for high jump.

18.   Tell your favorite joke.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and rhino?   Elephino!  Read it out loud.  Seriously do it.  Stupid, I know, but people ALWAYS laugh.

19.   Why would you want to win this swimsuit contest?
I would want to win this contest to show that a Hooters Girl is not only about a certain look, but she's about personality and charm too.  She more than a pretty face, she's a beautiful person.

20.   What do you love most about Montana?
I love how in Montana you can drive five minutes out of town and be lost in the wilderness.  I love that juxtaposition of urban and rural that is quintessentially Montana.

1 comment:

  1. i have to tell you, i've totally been stealing your joke. but your right, people (me) always laugh. i've said it wrong and a ton of different ways.(what do you call the baby of a elephant and a rhino) i've said it to my nephew, and i've said it drunk to my boyfriends friends. and i laughe everytime! lol. i see why its your favorite joke :) good luck in your contest <3



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