09 December 2011

I Want to Be On TV

Tonight I am going to a playoff game.  This is awesome for several reasons.  First, it is awesome because here in the FCS (or Football College Subdivision or Division 1-AA or whatever the heck else you want to call it) we actually believe in playoffs.  I'm talking to you BCS.  Stop being a money grubbing whore and instate a playoff system.  Don't even get me started.  Seriously.

Second, now that I'm done venting, this is awesome because it's a night game.  To most this wouldn't be cool, but at our stadium we have no lights.  Yes, a stadium that seats 26,000 and is arguably one of the nicest (if not the nicest) in its conference nationally has no lights.  We're working it.  Until then, to host a night game portable lights are brought in at a cost that would have easily paid my college tuition in full.  And probably bought me a car.  Or two.

Now this might seem ridiculous, but it makes sense when you consider the third and definitely most awesome thing about this game is that it's airing tonight, in primetime, on ESPN.  And those Disney sports people are footing that light bill.  Anyway, this is a big deal for the University of Montana.  While we're a favorite since the playoffs started, this means that ESPN thinks we're pretty great too.  This is ESPN people, they know their shit.

While our playoff games have made national television before, they are usually relegated to little sister channel, ESPN 2.  This my friends is the big show.  I, for one, am very excited.

Now, I need you to do the following things:

  1. Watch ESPN this evening beginning at 8:00 p.m. Eastern.   You will receive extra credit if you wear maroon.  Double extra credit if you TiVo.
  2. Realize how warm your house is when the commentators inevitably remark on the fact that it is fifteen degrees fahrenheit.
  3. Become deeply enthralled in the excitement of a playoff.  Yup, I'm talking to you again BCS.
  4. Perhaps most important, look for the following sign.  If it is being held by a chick, that's likely me.  If it's being held by a giant man who towers over all the regular looking people, that's probably Dreamy.  If you don't see anyone holding it we have both passed away from hypothermia or alcohol poisoning.

The sign is a reference to the fact that first off, we are hardly ever on ESPN and also that our playoff game last week was only aired on ESPN 3.  If you are unfamiliar, this is an Internet service.  An Internet service that isn't available in the majority of the state of Montana due to limited bandwidth through many providers.  It was a big deal.  In fact it was such a big deal that enough people whined and complained to ESPN (including our representatives and governor) that they ended up offering it on pay-per-view.  And ending up making lots of money.  Everybody wins!

Whatever, all you really need to be concerned with is the fact that it has glitter on it.  That's more important than anything really.

So I hope you'll follow my steps for Friday night enjoyment.  Think of me as I freeze my ass of in a peppermint schnapps induced euphoria.  


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