04 December 2011

If Martha Stewart Worked At Hooters

If Martha Stewart worked at Hooters, she would have spent the day as I did and produced the most delightfully tacky, yet unrefined Christmas tree that Hooters has ever seen.  Here's the thing about Martha effing Stewart, she's a master crafter.  You could give the woman anything and she'd turn that crap into the most marvelous thing you've probably ever seen.  Martha is the MacGyver of the craft world.  And if MarthGyver worked at Hooters she would have done this today.

Drink it in.
Observe the most beautiful use of orange koozies, golf towels and other miscellaneous crap to ever grace a Christmas tree.  I even put To-Go menus on that effing tree.  It's beautiful and kitschy and ridiculously awesome.  I'm proud as shit.

Santa is going to poop his pants.


  1. I love how that Christmas tree is all things related to hooters.
    It needs a sauce bottle wreath near/on it.
    Or at the very least, some oragami chicken wings. :D

  2. Ah, if only Sauce worked at a Hooters near me!

    Well done!

  3. Instead of a tinsel garland, it needs a pair of pantyhose (or two). Or would there be too much of a hazard of the lights melting/igniting them?

    Instead of an angel or a star at the top of the tree, there needs to be an owl. And there needs to be some sort of ornament resembling a pair of orange shorts on the tree.

  4. Janus, what I went with was a theme of Hooters souvenirs; everything on the tree is something a customer could purchase. And I had planned on putting a stuffed owl on top but we were sold out of them :(

    Kels, I love the idea of some hot sauce! Maybe i'll hang a few of our bottles on it!


    I love it, it's beautiful! I hope that you got a few extra points for putting gift cards on it (oh those silly higher-ups love to see people pushing giftcards).

    Perhaps an orange tree skirt?

  6. I hope Santa has spare boxers and pants...

  7. Your tree is beautious! I love Christmas as much as the next guy, but Christmas PUKED on my restaurant a few days ago. And, the sappy, chorusy Christmas music is continually barfing it's way out of the speakers. I keep trying to sneak in Kelly Clarkson Christmas songs, and I keep getting thwarted. :(

  8. Nothing....Nothing ... Beats the Christmas that Fayetteville Hooters tried to pull off in 2005. Tree? No. Santa hats? Yes. No-snow-outside-so-lets-simulate-snow-inside-by-using-packing-crate-peanuts? Yes. Which promptly got soaked with spilled beer and other liquids, squashed flat and got stuck to every conceivable surface. You couldn't walk 100 yards away from the Hoot without seeing foam peanuts all over the place. The peanuts had the consistency of week-old discarded used chewing gum on the floor of movie theaters.

  9. Aaron, that sounds awful! I guess you have to give them points for trying - just not very many points. I'm thankful that we get real snow here in Montana; I don't think I'd like the packing peanut alternative very much.



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