A Tale of Skechers

After returning from an epic winter Montana/Yellowstone adventure (more on that in an upcoming post), I arrived back at work to my Christmas present to myself.  Of course because I am what I would consider a rather frugal person the present was functional rather than fun.  A fun self-gift would only lead me to financial anguish because I take sick pleasure in growing - or during school simply maintaing - my bank account.  A functional gift, while still depleting my funds, is at least necessary and thus justifiable.

So I didn't return to a new purse or an iPad or a dragon, instead I returned to a pair of shoes.  But these weren't cute shoes with sparkles and spiked heels, these were the horrible white Skechers Hooters forces me to wear at work.  While they're comfortable enough for work, they are the type of shoes that no one would choose to wear in real life.  They are shoes reserved for waitresses and nurses and cheerleaders.  And I pretty much hate them.

Mostly my disdain for the shoes has nothing to do with how ugly they are, but rather with the fact that I have to fork over $40 to my place of employment for the pleasure of wearing them.  I love my job, but I don't love giving them my Jacksons.  I especially don't like giving them Jacksons I made working my ass off for them.  Something about that just feels wrong to me.  And lets face it, to cheap ass me $40 is about $40 too much.

Eventually though buying new shoes is totally unavoidable because Hooters wants me to have clean, white shoes all the time.  And that shit is effing hard.  I work in a minefield of booze, wing sauce and ranch dressing just waiting to mess up my whole day.  And while you'll keep your shoes clean for awhile they will undoubtedly succumb to the powers that be.  I bleach and wash and even paint, but the process of the dirtying of the shoes cannot be stopped.

While my old shoes were definitely not new, I actually didn't think they were that bad.  That was until my new shoes arrived and I compared the two.  It was disturbing to say the least.

If the ones on the left are white, the ones on the right are a new color never before seen by human eyes.

It's official, I was a naughty Hooters Girl with some really shitty looking shoes.  I maintain that the only way I didn't get my butt in trouble was that I spent the majority of my shifts hiding my feet behind the bar.  Regardless, that shit is embarrassing.  Sorry for being sucky.