Rather than simply regale you with my feelings on racist fucks, I'm going to regale you with a number of little Facebook comment gems left on the Hooters fan page because every knows it's easy to be an idiot when you're hiding behind a computer screen in your mom's basement.
No Beter, she is in fact not white. GASP! How did you figure it out?! I never would have noticed. I feel so tricked by this little minx. Seriously, who cares. Yes, she happens to be African American, but last time I checked nowhere in my job description does it say I have to be white be employed by Hooters. Shit, I must have missed that part. Evidently I have to be white to be pretty. Who knew?!
I totally agree, Keenan. Of course by totally agree I mean you are clearly lame not only because you're a racist idiot, but because you are a typing cat. Actually, it's pretty sweet that you figured out how to use a keyboard with those little paws, but might I suggest you let your mind evolve a little more before you log in. Wouldn't want to sound stupid or anything. Oh wait, you already did that. I don't know if you heard, Keenan Kitty, but any woman is beautiful regardless of her skin color.
Now I'm not totally sure what Eric is trying to say - no offense, dude - but I like the he has the sense to realize her winning has nothing to do with skin color. But of course, Sage brings us back. It's all about skin color. Really though, I posted this because Sage is an idiot. The last two winners (2008 & 2009) were both blonde.
While Beter and Keenan are small minded, these next geniuses can talk politics. This obviously makes them the smartest people in the history of thinking.
Hi, my names Michael and I know political buzzwords. Title 9! Roe v. Wade! Prohibition! Magna Carta!
Thanks for taking it step further and says our "presudent" had something to do with outcome of a Hooters bikini pageant, Alex. This presudent guy probably singlehandedly created Justin Bieber and made Oprah go off the air. One thing is certain though and it's that the presudent clearly didn't help you with your spelling. Maybe "they" can help with that since according to you they get everything because of presudent. Now, my buddy, Jim, thinks Obama (I'm assuming he's related to Alex's presudent) just decided the whole effing thing.
So you mean our President, Barack Obama, took time out of his schedule to pick the winner of the Hooters pageant? Dear Lord, someone needs to tell CNN because this is fucking breaking news. It's not like he has anything important to do like run a country or anything. But really, how much time can being President really take up? It can't be that hard, right? Not according to Jim! Hey, Jim, I really like the way your close mindedness brings out your eyes - and cowboy hat.
Lucky for Jim I made found this picture on the Internet to totally back him up.
Shit, Obama told did rig the eff out this whole pageant. That smile clearly says, "I'm in charge muthafuckas." Anti Blonde Act? That's so racist. Guess blondes are gonna have a hard year. Just look at Kristin Cavallari if you don't believe me. And it's all Obama's fault; ruining the world one unimportant pageant at a time.
While none of this is true. Obviously (don't tell Jim or Alex). There is still the question of whether the pageant itself is rigged or predetermined. Doug is pretty sure it is.
So is it rigged or not? I may or may not have a pretty good idea if it may or may not predetermined, but I'm not going to say. I will say that there is a fair amount of politics involved in the pageant, as there are in any pageant. I will also note that Leangela didn't really look all the surprised when she won. Lord knows when I win I anything I am really effing excited and everyone is going to know it. I'll let you decide for yourself what that that may or may not mean.
I'll leave you by saying that I think Leangela Davis is a GREAT Miss Hooters. Not only is she gorgeous, but I hear she has an amazing personality. And really personality is number one at Hooters no matter what anyone says. Tara, go ahead and wrap it up for me.