So exactly what have I been doing while in Miami? Mostly I’ve been filling my phone with countless pictures of scantly clad, buxom Hooter Girls. Yes, that’s really what I’ve been doing. To be more specific and less creepalious, being named official Twitter, Facebook and general social media darling, it’s been my job to keep everything updated up to the minute. Mostly this has meant Tweeting – since we are far more deliberate with Facebook updates – everything as it happens. Basically Hooters went from Tweeting once a day at most to nearly a dozen times daily since I’ve taken over. I’ve gone from Twitter virgin to Twitter whore. But the nice kind of whore that everyone totally likes.
To be really general, I write long things and short things. While getting a tan. In addition to my work duties, achieving a sun-kissed glow has been a goal of mine. I’m from Montana. What’s the point of going to Miami if I don’t get a fabulous tan and make everyone at home jealous? So goal one, make Hooters fall utterly in love with me so I get a big girl job I love. Goal two, become a bronzed beach goddess. We can already mark goal two right on off that list.
Tonight all of the work starts to pay off, because the parties are starting. And lets be honest, everyone loves a good party. I suppose this will be a good time to solidify goal one of Hooters falling in love with me. I’ve shown them I can work; now I just have to charm them with my amazing social skills and impeccable fashion sense. Don’t worry I’m breaking out the all-important fake eyelashes for the evening. Eyelashes mean business at Hooters. That’s how seriously I’m taking this shit.
Feel free to imagine me hobnobbing by the pool this evening as I show off my class and fabulous legs. I’m in Miami, bitch (or trick if you prefer the edited version).