20 June 2011

Welcome to Miami (Bienvenido a Miami)

Please Listen to Will Smith's "Miami" while reading this post to experience it to it's full potential.

Almost time to give that crown back.
Arriving at the Miss Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant was a lot like my first day as a Hooters Girl – it scared me absolutely shitless.  As my plane was taxiing to the gate, I actually had one of those “what the heck am I doing here” moments.  I’d looked forward to this for so long and suddenly all I felt was nervous terror.  How would I get to the hotel?  Will people think I’m nice?  What if they thought I’d be prettier?  Is there a bathroom near the gate?  Did I forget my hairbrush?  Will they like me?

First off, yes, there was a bathroom near the gate and did bring my hairbrush.  Then came the harder questions.  The first question was answered fairly easily.  After collecting my luggage – which came out on the wrong belt might I add – I noticed a group of hot chicks sitting around a middle-aged woman with a clipboard that read “Hooters Pageant Contestants” across the back.  That wasn’t me.  But I had no one else to ask.

“And your name is?”  Did she think I was a contestant?  “Yup, there you are on my list!”

I was on the list!  Not only did I have a ride to the hotel, I was actually on the contestant list.  Not that I was an actual contestant, but my name was on the same list as all those hotties.  I felt prettier almost immediately.  At least my name got to be hot.

And I got to sit and wait with all these hot girls.  That makes me hot too right?  I hoped I was fooling the people walking by in the baggage claim area.  It was immediately apparent that I must have been fooling someone.

“So where are you from and are you ready for this?” said the blonde next to me.

This blonde thought I was a contestant!  Score one for small boobed girls everywhere!  But this wasn’t any blonde; this blonde was Morgan Meyer, current Hooters Girl of the Year.  This was THE blonde and she thought I was a contestant.  I almost didn’t want to correct her.  But I did, because lying is for little boys and wolves and shit.

THE blonde.
As I was telling her the truth of my stay in Miami, Morgan admitted to knowing who I was and saying she loved my writing.  So I was hot and totally awesome at pretending to be a journalist.  That’s just about when I decided this whole thing wouldn’t end up too bad.  I was in.

So far I’ve had an amazing time here in Miami.  It’s been fabulously sunny (which coming from not-so-sunny Montana has been totally amazing) and I’ve been enjoying the gorgeous location.  Basically I’ve turned into Hooters social media contact – in addition to a few other responsibilities – attending photo shoots and events and relaying everything on Facebook and Twitter.  Seriously, every update on those pages this week will probably be from me.  This means you should probably check them out.

But beyond working and really loving it, what I’m most surprised by is how nice everyone has been so far.  Much like when I began my Hooters journey, I was nervous about the cattiness.  I was worried there would be a gaggle of bitches.  While I’m sure there is a bitch or two in the bunch, all the girls I’ve met so far are amazing.  They’re gorgeous and nice.  But then I guess that’s always been the true beauty of the Hooters Girl.

Have I mentioned I love my job?  I freaking LOVE my job.


  1. Er, do you need somebody to stare at the hottie--I mean, carry your bags or anything? I'd be happy to volunteer . . . Keep us posted, Sauce--can't wait to hear more! This will probably become a regular thing with you, I think--you'll be *that* awesome.

  2. Couldn't be happier for you Sauce. You truly deserve this. Have fun and enjoy.



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