10 August 2011

To Your (My) Health

I’ve always considered myself a pretty active person.  I did run track after all.  But after graduating – and not constantly having someone telling me how to work out and when – I certainly eased into a not so consistent workout plan.  Rather the two or even three-a-days I had grown accustomed to, I instead fell into a schedule of half-assed cardio seasons.  I mean I still worked out (because I do love it) but it was nothing compared to what my body was used to.

Two months, two months, two months.  CREDIT.
Then you pair that with food.  Because I was always getting my ass kicked with lifting, running, form workouts and plyos I just didn’t really think that much about what I was eating.  While I ate fairly healthily, I enjoyed my fair share of sugary sweets and greasy fried foods.  I love food and I didn’t hold back if I didn’t want to.

And then finally you get a job at Hooters.  There is almost nothing better as a lover of wings than being hired as a Hooters Girl.  Wings are everywhere.  Of course being a Hooters Girl means wearing the uniform.  And the uniform isn’t quite as fond of wings.  At first I just didn’t care.

So I gained weight.  It was inevitable.  But I won’t sit here and pretend I gained tons of unwanted pounds.  Obviously I was still able to pull of the uniform of a Hooters Girl.  I just felt heavy.  I felt off.  I felt lazy.  In short I didn’t feel like me anymore.  And while I looked fine to everyone else, that just wasn’t good enough for me.

Finally, I decided to really do something about it.  I stopped saying “I’ll start on Monday” and just effing started.  And let me tell you, at first it totally sucked.  It wasn’t so much the more consistent and focused working out, but rather the showing up to Hooters and avoiding everything delicious and eating salad after salad after salad.  That was torture.

But I stuck with it as much as I wanted to order a greasy Strip Cheese sandwich drenched in extra hot sauce.  I started bring my own food to work to avoid temptation.  I added a morning bootcamp to my cardio routine and introduced more lifting.  I started feeling like me.  I wasn’t as tired – even when waking up at six to hit the gym.  I felt happier.  I just felt good.

Please note the size of that bitty bikini in relation to my heels.
And then I went totally insane and decided to sign up for a bikini fitness competition.  I even went out and purchased a miniscule, shiny bikini and five-inch clear heels (the normal uniform of a fitness competitor); I made the decision and I committed myself.  That decision has taken my already healthy eating lifestyle to regimented, four-hour meals of specific amounts of protein and starchy carbs.  I am one of those crazy people with both a bathroom scale and a kitchen scale; I even use them both daily.  I drink protein shakes.  I no longer drown my sorrows nor celebrate my happiness in the bottoms of margaritas.  I go the gym twice a day even when I think I don’t have the time.  I am bastion of fitness.  Don’t worry I scare myself too.

But here I sit today, just under two months out from my competition, toned, healthy and nearly twenty pounds lighter than I was in January.  Did I think I even had twenty pounds to lose?  Hell no.  But I did and it feels amazing.  My abs say hello.

I’ll be so ready for that shiny, little bikini.


  1. Wow good for you! I keep wanting to kick my ass into gear but the cost of gym memberships is sky high and I KNOW I won't be able to keep it up without someone shouting at me! I would NEVER be a Hooters girl with a uniform like that.

    Which brings me to a question I've always had about Hooters. Living in the UK as I do, I don't know much about the place but on TV all the waitresses are skinny, blonde and have big tits. Presumably that's Hooters hiring policy? Any variety in there? It does seem a desperately restrictive and frankly unfair hiring policy.

  2. So do we get to see them?

  3. Maxi, woman of all types work at Hooters. Unfortunately the cliches are what generally make it to TV and other public forums. I for example am a brunette with a short a-line cut and have breasts that I consider to be on the small side (B). We have thin girls with no boobs and curvy girls with lots of boobs. There actually is quite a lot of variety when you actually go to Hooters.

    It's a shame people don't get to see more of that.

    And anonymous, perhaps you'll get a glimpse at the finished product!

  4. Good work, Sauce! And I'm hoping to see the results, too. I know how it is--I was into bodybuilding and fitness for a while, there, though you wouldn't know it to look at me now. It's hard and you have to be damned stubborn but I have to admire somebody who can do it.

  5. Hey not sure if you are interested but a "mommy blogger" is also doing a fitness competition (I think on the west coast). She is http://www.absolutelynarcissism.com/ The site is funny but it might help inspire you for the future since she didn't compete until her 30's!

  6. I admire your dedication and motivation, but I sure as hell couldn't do what you do. Not because I don't want a hot-ass body, or because I can't be bothered, but because I couldn't spend 2 hours a day in the gym when I could spend at least one of those with friends. And I couldn't go out with friends knowing that I was going to have to deny myself a beer, or a plate of fries just so I could have abs. I'm all about being healthy, I eat well most of the time and I do work out a few times a week, but I don't think I'd be happier with a better body but having denying myself even a small treat, than I am with an ok body and a little bit of what I like.

  7. It certainly had taken a toll on my social life - especially at first when my lack of will power forced me to avoid anywhere with good food and drink. Now I have no qualms with simply having a water while everyone else drinks. I just make sure to eat before I leave the house.

    That being said, this certainy isn't something I could do all the time. It's really interesting to see my body change as I change my lifestyle, but it's an awful lot of work. I think a big part of me just wanted to see if I could do it.

    So far so good!

  8. Aaaaand yup I feel lazy.
    Good for you, sauce! Go get 'em, girl.

  9. Thats great that you feel good and healthy!

    I am just coming back from a broken leg myself, and it sucks how hard it is to start again after you've let yourself/had to slack off. Feels great once you get back doesn't it!

    I do not have a scale though, nor would I ever in a million years have two! The number means a lot less than the inches, and its way too easy to let yourself get caught up on daily fluctuations.

  10. I agree about the fluctuations; my weight is generally within a five to ten pound range of itself which is of course totally normal. I use it more as a way to get an overall feel of progress.

    And when I said bathroom and kitchen scale I meant one for me (in the bathroom) and one for my food (in the kitchen).

  11. OH! Haha, I'm awfully tired to read that wrong lol. Now I feel a bit silly....but I was a little worried that you would be weighing yourself that much! OK, clearly time for bed :)



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