Creeps

I'm not sure why being suddenly single brings the creeps out of the woodwork.  It's as if they have some sort of creep radar that tells them that this poor girl is newly single so they should try in all their creepy might to get into her pants.  Now why they think I want them anywhere near my pants, let alone in them, is beyond me.  Sorry that I'm not turned on by your charmingly cliche, tired pickup lines.  

Perhaps you are surprised, but girls generally don't enjoy when you start a conversation by saying things like, "do you know how sexy you are?" or "mind if I get to know you?".  Actually, yes I do mind because I noticed right away how much you enjoy my boobs and how your creepy hand lightly places itself above my ass.  Do you mind if I turn you down and don't do it bluntly?

Being single is so damn exhausting!  Now can someone buy me drink without having a staring contest with my chest (guess what, they'll win, they never blink).