The worst part is that neither of us could say goodbye. In a tear filled, three hour conversation at 2 a.m. we came to the realization that both of us are in very different places when it comes to our relationship and as much as I would do anything to make it work he just thought that it couldn't. In the end we never said goodbye, but simply goodnight and it was done.
I miss him dearly, but that was part of the issue for him - he missed me too much to be with me. This point makes no sense to me because I'd rather miss him and be with him then miss him and be without him (a point he couldn't see). I guess I just have to get over missing him and move on as impossible as it may seem.
Right now I'm trying the good 'ol "give him space and he'll want you back" trick but if it doesn't work at least it's the first step in getting over him. I'm also using this to write music (he always called me 'pretty girl' and this is turning into an amazing song: "guess your pretty girl isn't so pretty anymore") so maybe one day he'll be so lucky to hear me on the radio - now that's a nice dream! Perhaps I should also call my old roommate, he plays for the Dolphins now and I'm sure he knows lots of single, athletic men (hmmm...another nice dream).
But don't worry, I'll be fine. I'll just eat lots of ice cream and all the chocolate in the cute Easter basket I made for him - I knew there was a reason I got all my favorites.