20 April 2009

The Hooters Truths

Being a Hooters Girl there are certain things that you will find to be an everyday part of your life. These things, that I call the Hooters Truths, can be annoying, exasperating, and tiring but are unfortunately unavoidable. I’ve decided to start outlining these many Hooters Truths into a list that I’m sure will take several posts as more of them come to mind. For now, lets get started.

As a Hooters Girl you WILL:
1. Gain what can only be described as an intense loathing for nylons.
2. Go through crazy amounts of makeup, as you are required to wear it daily.
3. Most likely stop doing your hair and makeup when you have a day off.
4. Love your pouch as it is the best defense against ever present camel toe
5. Smell like chicken wings, hot grease, and beer pretty much all the time.
6. Be disgusted by the copious amounts of ranch consumed by Americans.
7. Know the words to nearly every popular 80s song.
8. Become addicted to lip gloss.
9. Turn and look whenever you hear clapping – everywhere you go.
10. Try the notorious “double bra” to enhance your cleavage.
11. Become a pro at hula hooping, beer pouring, yelling, paper towel kicking, and dancing the Cotton-Eyed Joe among other things.
12. Own Sharpies in every color.
13. Have stinky ass feet (disgusting I know, sorry).
14. Start standing the “Hooters way” in every picture you take, even in real life.
15. Miss nail polish.

This is just the start of the Hooters Truths. Don’t worry, there are more amazing Hooters secrets to come…


  1. Exactly. Everything is so true. I've never worn so much make up before and I actually wear lip gloss off the clock now. I haven't tried the double bra trick yet, but i think I might, because the girls look great when they do it! It's amazing how open all of the girls are with their secrets! I love it.

  2. Just wonder: do you guys develop some kind of loathing for men? At least men who can't take their glaze off your boobs?

    In our wild fantasy, we imagined women are actually flattered by our lusting over them. :)

  3. I'd say we learn to ignore it more than anything...or at least tune it out. I guess when you fist start it really can get on the nerves but not so much now...for me at least!

  4. Hooters Truth: shoe whitener, shoe whitener, show whitener.

  5. The posing the hooters way is so true! As are all the others, but that one made me laugh the most.

    Retired Hooters Girl.



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