25 September 2010
To Working Doubles
Of course sometimes - like tomorrow - college homecoming and UFC decide to happen on the same day. This means two things:
1) Every collegiate bitch at Hooters will request the day off to get wasted and pretend to give two shits about football. I understand. I've been there. The difference is I legitimately do care about football and actually understand the rules. But whatever, I had my college experience. Knock 'em dead, ladies.
2) Girls not taking the day off to be wasted - which is most - will avoid UFC like the plague. This is because UFC means you will either make a shitload of money or no money at all - the latter being all too common. This will depend on your section, which are always small on UFC nights, and who sits in said section. If you get one or more tables of teenagers in your five to six table section you are totally screwed. They will all order waters and ten boneless wings for twelve people to split. It pretty much rocks.
Yup, I'll be at Hooters from 10 a.m. until midnight or maybe even later. I'm hoping it will give me lots to write about. I'm also hoping that I will be swimming in money just like Uncle McScrooge. You know, McSrooge from "DuckTales" only without the funny accent and live-in nephews. That's a nice visual.