I got some mail at Hooters the other day. This is always relatively exciting because it means that you are awesome enough for someone to actually waste a stamp on you. That's practically a gillion cents these days with the way stamps can't ever seem to decide how much they should be. I mean that's a really big deal. This was my fourth time receiving mail at Hooters. You can deduce for yourself how awesome that makes me.
So there I was at jumpstart, getting ready to jumpstart my day, when my mail was delivered to me upon a silver plater. Ok, that's a lie. So there I was when my mail was delivered to me by being thrown onto the table. I hastily opened it and was greeted by both a card and letter. I felt uber appreciated. Then I read it.
I now present you the contents of my Hooters mail.
First the greeting card:
To the hostess with the mostest...
from the guest who was impressed!
And the best part, the letter (with my personal comments bolded):
Do you remember me? (Nope.) I was traveling the country and stopped by Hooters for lunch. (Yeah, that doesn't narrow it down.) You waited on me and we had some laughs. I never forget people that make me laugh. THANK YOU! You are a lovely woman and it was the highlight of my day.
The reason for this note is to ask if we chat occasionally? ( I'm starting to catch just a hint of creepy.) I have a many friends that I like to keep track of their life and careers as the travel through life. You told me you have aspirations of becoming a sports announcer (Um, no. I have never said that. Ever.) or even higher than that. Maybe a word or encouragement is all that some people need to take that next step. It is really up to you. (OK, not too creepy now. Maybe it was a false alarm.) Some of my friends have far exceeded their dreams, others have exchanged a life of mediocrity for a safe boring life. That is OK too. Maybe they never saw their potential. (Not bad at all. Thanks, dude!)
Let me know if you wish to communicate via email or face-book and would like to be a friend? If it is not to be that is fine with me and it was a pleasure meeting you. GOOD LUCK! Thanks.
555-555-5555 will change soon just so you know (Thanks?)
Email address provided.
You know, overall that wasn't so bad! Yeah, it got a little creepy for a half of half of second, but overall I just feel appreciated. How very warm and fuzzy!
Then the Facebook messages started. And the friend invites. Over. And Over. And Over. Now that was creepy.
The joys of Hooters!