03 January 2010

The Holiday Spirit

As the holiday season has come to a close, I find myself reflecting on what it has meant to me as a server.  To most, the holidays mean presents and family and all sorts of yummy, delicious food.  To me, and many of my fellow Hooters Girls it seems, the holidays mean walkouts and grumpy assholes and shitty tips.  It seems that while people are spreading all that holiday cheer they conveniently forget to extend any pleasantries to their server.

Everyone knows that people worry about money during the holidays.  Hell I worry about money too.  There are gifts to buy, parties to attend, friends to entertain and a million other little things that invariably cost money.  So you save money where you can so you can spend it on those holiday "necessities."  Unfortunately for me, one of the places you decide to save money is in your tip to your poor waitress.  Johnny NEEDS an Xbox 360; I get a shitty seven percent tip - if I'm a lucky of course.  Often, after you regale me with tales of your most epic shopping day, I find that there is nothing left for me on the table.  I can sit there and calculate the hundreds of dollars you spent as you tell me about the crowds at Best Buy and Target and the Mall.  Oh and here's you tip.  Wait, I spent that at Bath and Bodyworks.  Merry effing Christmas.

Of course, I'd rather have you leave a shitty tip than walkout on me.   If you tip me little to nothing I just make less money, but if you walkout on your tab I'll usually have to pay for it.  That's right, I get to pay my employer for the pleasure of serving your cheap ass.  So while you saved that $33.45 to spend on Grandma Sue, I paid that money for you.  I guess my grandma is not as important as your dear Grandma Sue.  How the hell did I miss that memo?  Oh and did I mention that my grandma survived the World War II eating tulip bulbs - literally.  Please feel free to feel like the jack-off you are.

What it all comes down to is that people are cheap during the holidays.  Trust me, I understand the desire to save money where you can.  However you being cheap means I don't get to enjoy my Christmas as much.  I'm not saying you should be overly generous, but a less than ten percent tip is quite frankly ridiculous.  It is especially ridiculous when I know I went above and beyond to provide you with exceptional service.  So while you save your money and have a fabulous Hooters experience, I figure out how I'm going to make enough money to see my family let alone give them gifts.

Really though, the question is if you can't afford to tip, or especially if you can't afford to pay you bill, then why are you eating out in the first place?  Oh, that's right you have to buy your children some opulent gift they'll probably forget about in the next month, but not at the cost of neglecting your addiction to fried shit.  Odds are that electronic, must-have, made in China gift is out of you price range too, but not at the cost of forgoing fried pickles and ranch.  I am no financial planner, but it seems to me that if a fifteen percent tip or a $40 meal is a stretch for you then you'd probably be better served getting a savings account and eating in. 

Happy 2010!

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