Today I introduce you to Hans. Hans is yet another Hooters regular. Correction, Hans is MY Hooters Regular. You see Hans is picky. Hans likes consistency. He is even picky about his consistency. Sixty-three years old, Hans hails from Germany. He still exhibits a strong German accent and the deliberate way of speaking that suggests he's searching for words. He's not a citizen; he's a resident by marriage. He's also an ex-NHL player (hence the name Hans taken from the sweet skate shop guy from "Might Ducks" who is pictured to the right). He has money and three houses and is unashamed to flaunt either. And Hans loves me.
Hans doesn't like blondes. The first time he came in our blonde bartender rolled her eyes before giving me that "you HAVE to take him look." So I took the table. Hans looked at me expectantly and very politely ordered a Miller Lite bottle. He drank the bottle slowly, smiling as I spoke to him. He listened as if he was genuinely interested in my life. He didn't want to talk about him. He drank one bottle, then two, then got up to leave. As he made his way to the door he gently brushed my arm.
"You have the best butt of all Hooter Girls. You must have a sugar daddy," he nodded.
I grinned and laughed it off gently as I said goodbye, flattered and shocked simultaneously. Hans left my mind soon after, but a week later he returned. This time he told me quite bluntly about hi dislike for blondes and his affinity for dark eyed women. He told me about his life. He told me once again that I must have a sugar daddy. I noted that he left me a hundred dollar tip.
Now Hans comes every week or two. If I am not in the restaurant he asks were I am. Apparently he is also rude. It seems that Hans literally only has eyes for me. And he's not afraid to admit it. So it seems that I have my first ever sugar daddy candidate. A 63-year-old, German, hockey playing sugar daddy. Don't worry; I am not one to take advantage of a senior citizen. Unless of course you count putting this story on the Internet, then I'm guilty as charged.