17 February 2010

Pavlov and the Wet Nap

In an attempt to be funny, Hooters decided it would be a good idea to put cute little sayings on their wet naps.  Sayings like "58.3% of all statistics are made up" and "friction is a drag."  You know, important life lesson type shit.  The type of shit that is really important to you when you're in the middle of fifty 911 wings and your phone rings causing you to rip into that wet nap with reckless abandon.  The type of shit you're just dying to read.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no great hater of Hooters wet nap wisdom.  Some people laugh, but most people don't even notice.  Either way is fine with me.  I just drop the stuff off at the table.  What I don't like is that the Hooters wet nap gods decided to give birth to this.

I explain this wet nap about eighteen freaking times a day.  You see a good portion of Hooters patrons have no effing idea who Pavlov is let alone about his experiments into classical conditioning.  So there I am at a table full of half drunk people giving a psych 100 class and explaining all about conditioned and unconditioned stimuli and saliva and dogs and bells and shit.  Nine times out of ten they still look at me blankly after I explain it.  So no, Hooters, Pavlov apparently does not ring a bell.  Mmmmm, anyone want steak?


  1. Hahaha that's hilarious! I have to do the same thing! Unfortunately it's not just the Pavlov wet nap that I am forced to explain to adults many years my senior.

  2. I guess I'd simply have to respond this way if I were hooter's Girl:

    "No, it doesn't ring a bell". This in itself would condition them not to ask any more stupid questions . Of course, if you have a smartass amateur psychologist who was just trying to "prove" how dumb Hooter's Girls were and made some smartassed comment, I'd probably have to say (in a joking manner that made it clear that you were referring to Pavlov's classic experiments), "You dog, you. You sussed me out. I was simply trying to get you to respond to outside stimulus".

    "so You Want To Be A Waiter" blog



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