15 August 2010

Father Figure?

When you work at Hooters, you can expect a few creepers.  Luckily, our Hooters has been relatively creep free.  While every now and again you may run into a less than couth guest, for the most part people at our restaurant are actually pretty cool.  This makes me more than happy.  I'd go so far as to say that it makes me ecstatic.  I mean way back a gillion (two) years ago when I started working at Hooters I was worried about two things.  First, I was worried about working with a staff of potentially bitchy, gossipy, annoying girls; luckily this has been avoided.   Second, I was worried about creepy dudes.  This I have only mostly avoided.

On Friday, I had one of those mornings that made me a less than happy person.  Actually, I had one of those nights that make a person have a less than stellar morning.  No, I wasn't drunk, rather I was locked out and slept on my front porch in the rain.  Yeah, my Thursday night was grand.  Don't worry; I'll fill you in on that little gem later.  For now, all you need to know is that I was not exactly in my most perfect Hooteriffic form on Friday morning.  But I put on my best little happy, awake act, grabbed a heavily caffeinated beverage and headed to work.

After setting up the restaurant, I was ready for my first customer of the day as a family made their way toward the door.  It is important to note at this point that it was a family with teenage kids - two girls and a boy.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  No toddlers.  No college kids.  No creepy construction workers.  I was prepared for it to be breeze as I smiled and held open the door.  Of course I was wrong. 

Dad:  "See, son," addressed to his twelve year old.  "That's the kind of rack you need to look for on a girl.  She's got a darn good set."

My smile fell from my face almost as quickly as Dad's eyes focused on my breasts and son's face turned 128 shades of red.  As all this was happening I had already decided to pull the seniority card and dump Dad and his family on the other girl on the floor.  It's not so much that I didn't want to take them, but given my two hours of sleep, on edge body I probably would be less likely to put up with his shit and more likely to scream at him.  I figured pawning the family off would not only be in my best interest, but theirs as well.  That's just good service on part for not taking them.  That's how good I am.

I promised to make it up to her and my coworker most graciously took the table.  I owe you.  Seriously.  The poor girl dealt with more lewd comments than I have perhaps heard in ALL my time at Hooters.  Yes, he was that bad.  And he was with his kids.  Two of which were teenage girls.  Classy.

Prepare to be amazed by a selection of Dad's most eloquent quotes!

Dad:  "Look at the size of the knockers on that one!"

Dad:  "Why aren't you smiling?  Shouldn't you be happy to be around me?"

Dad:  "Get that butt in gear so I can watch it walk away from me."

And perhaps my personal favorite:  "Can you step back a little and do some jumping jacks for me?  I wanna see how things go."

This was followed most effortlessly by:  "Oh I'm sorry, it's a little too early for me to be doing strenuous exercise."

That of course was followed by a swift turn and ample eye rolling.  I'd like to take this time to commend my fellow Hooters Girl for not only putting up with Ass Dad, but also delivering the most perfect comeback.  Kudos.

But as much as he said, what I couldn't understand is why he would let his mouth run not only in front of his wife but also in front of his two young daughters.  So is that how you expect men to talk to your girls?  Is that how you courted your wife?  Did it all start with a casually dropped, innuendo filled pick-up line?  I can only guess that it did since ladies love nothing more than a pig in men's clothing.  Sexy.

Dad capped off his Hooters adventure buy leaving his Hooters Girl a hefty $5.00 tip on a $120-something bill.  Clearly his ample compliments were meant to be payment enough.  Our self-esteem, self-worth and self-loathing can't thank you enough!

Oh and I can't wait for your oldest daughter to come in and apply when she's eighteen next year!  Yay!!


  1. I'm a creepy guy myself and I have to say that this dude crossed the line. Gives the rest of us a bad name. Seriously, though, the guy has *got* to have some kind of mental health diagnosis. Or he's one of those people (we have lots of them around here) who thinks Hooters is a strip joint.

  2. ewww, creepy-do tell need to know why you slept on your porch!

  3. never cease to be amazed by the lack of good manners and impoliteness by others!

  4. I really hate that people like that even EXIST. People can be so unthoughtful and rude.

    I work at Chili's and get a few raunchy comments...but I would imagine as a Hooter's girl people seem to think you aren't really a human, so you get many more of that sort of behavior from guests.

    My husband and I go to Hooters on rare occasions, and we like to just talk to our server. A lot of them are going to school and will tell us about their major/minor, abroad experiences, etc. Hooters girls are very intelligent and interesting, just like servers at other places.

    Seems like some guests forget that you aren't just a pretty body; you're a person with feelings, opinions, and goals. It's a shame to see that some people aren't mature enough to see that, and it's an even bigger shame to know that that guy and others like him are teaching that behavior to their kids. Ugh.

  5. Does that not fall into the category where you can ask him (politely) to be more respectful or perhaps find another establishment to dine in?

  6. I have the same question as Anonymous. Is there any policy in place to help guard you from excessively creepy (and disturbing) people? i feel sorry for his wife and daughters, and for the future wife of his young son. Hopefully his son will be wise enough to recognize how sick and twisted his dad is and perhaps choose a different path. Wow.

  7. Ok, I was directed here by Bitchy Waiter so sorry I'm so far behind the times. Obviously this guy was totally over the line, and especially because he had his family there.

    However, when I was single I remember going into Hooters and I would check out the girls. I might even say you have a very nice body or something, however I would work that into conversation, not just come out and say something rude. I think I even asked one of the girls out once, that was in Canada though. Anyway, do you consider that creepy? I've never been accused of being creepy but different people have different opinions.



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