Anyway, like I said, I consider myself to be of that small, second group of servers that are pretty amazing. And I'm not just being self-absorbed; I have received numerous compliments both personally and through management and our customer comment line. Just accept how awesome I am and we'll move on. Since I like to think I'm pretty marvelous, one of my biggest pet peeves is when people question my ability to do my job. This can happen a number of ways. People might question my knowledge of the menu or test just exactly how nice I can be. I'd like to see you try, buddy, because I can be VERY effing nice.
Probably the biggest way people like to question my abilities though takes place when I'm taking a table's order. You see, after years of being a waitress I don't really need to write shit down under most circumstances. Now when I say "most circumstances," I mean if there are less than ten of you I probably won't need a pad of paper to remember your order. I realize not all servers have this ability, but I do. And yes, I will remember that you wanted that cheddar bacon burger medium well with potato salad instead of beans. I'm really that good.
So there I'll be, doing my thing at a table and some yahoo will interrupt me to say, "you really gonna remember all this?"
Yes, I am effing going to remember all this. It's my job to take your order, remember your order, ring in your order and serve your damn order the way you ordered it in the first place. I realize you're really concerned about your wings coming to the table breaded, all drums just like you wanted, but don't you think I'd write the shit down if I needed to write it down? Yes, I would in fact write down your order if I felt like it would be prudent for me to do so. But guess what, your order at Hooters really isn't that effing difficult and even when it is difficult I have a memory that can handle that shit. I went to college. I got a degree. Let me use my impressive ability to cram and memorize at least once and awhile please. I mean I have to put all that schooling to use at some point right?
Please for the love of God stop asking me if I'll remember your order. I can promise you with almost 100% certainty that I will get it right. And if I don't get it right it probably has something to do with the fact that you totally disrupted my train of thought by asking me such a stupid question in the first place. Tell you what, let me do my job and I won't show up at yours and ask you how you remember where to file all the accounts payable shit. Or how to put on a serpentine belt. Or how to build an effing house. Does that sound like a good deal? Good.
Now what did you order again?