21 February 2011

Don't Do This If You Want a Job

Today an ad went up on Craigslist looking for new line cooks at Hooters.  Naturally this brought applicants out in force for what I can only imagine is one opening.  It's amazing how competitive the job market can be even for fry cooks.  Welcome to 2011, friends!

Please note the absence of alcoholic beverages.
One of our first applicants sauntered in just after we opened at eleven and took a place at the bar to fill out the application.  As he began to write, I casually asked him if he'd like a water or something else to drink while he was filling out the paperwork.  Now usually I get one of two answers: "no, thanks" or "I'll have a water, please".  This time I heard, "I'll have a Jack and coke - you can make it a double."

Double Jack and coke?  I was surprised, but being as I really couldn't tell him it was a bad idea, I made him the drink.  I watched him casually sip and write his way through the first half of the application.  About the time he flipped over the paper, I asked him if he'd like anything else.  He asked for a Bloody Mary.  I didn't even give him the option of a double the second time.

The Bloody Mary went down faster than the first drink and as I grabbed the glass I once again asked if he'd like anything else.

"Oh I better not.  I probably shouldn't get too wasted while I'm out looking for a job."

You think?!  Better yet, you probably shouldn't even start drinking if you're looking for jobs.  If you really can't stop yourself from indulging, I'd advise not drinking at the restaurant you're applying to.  Especially not WHILE you're applying.  That's pretty much a sure sign you won't be getting a call.  Do all that drinking before noon and you can guarantee the phone won't be ringing.

I don't care if you're a raging alcoholic, I'd hope you're smart enough to not drink and hide that shit while you're applying for a job.  You'd think this would be one of those rules that could simply go unsaid;  Apparently this is not the case.  If it was the case I wouldn't have been serving this guy hard alcohol while he used his application as a coaster on a Monday morning.

If you're reading this, Mr. Drinks, you won't be getting hired.

If you're reading this and you're the guy from Georgia who applied I'd be expecting a call.  I put in a good word for you because you were nice and I liked your hipster blazer.


  1. mmm jack daniels!... ps we are playing trivia soon Sauce
    ..Love Eddie!

  2. Always hire the guy from Georgia. You won't go wrong.

  3. And I thought not bring a pen to the interview was bad!! Lord have mercy some people just don't think do they?

  4. I laughed at RM's comment because I was thinking the same thing [along with poor spelling, felonies and holey jeans] I have never had someone apply that drank WHILE doing it.

    The pot smoke aroma was the worst.

  5. people never cease to amaze me.

  6. What would your reaction be to someone who asked for coffee, tea, or a soft drink?

  7. Janus, that would be fine by me. I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask for a beverage while applying as long as it's nonalcoholic. In fact, I always make sure to ask everyone if they'd like something as soon as they sit down to fill in an application.

    It was only the fact that he was drinking alcohol that was the issue.

  8. Thanks. I just wanted that particular point clarified.

    You know, Robert Heinlein once said, "Never underestimate the power of human stupidity." It just . . . bothers me that so many people want to prove him right on a regular basis.



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