Things Not to Tell Your Hooters Girl

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A note to Hooters guests:  If you plan on being a huge douche and tipping $1.00 on a $30 tab do me a favor and DON'T tell me that you just bought a huge flat screen at Best Buy for the big game.  Now I know you're not just cheap, but you're a cheap asshole which is so much worse.

I hope that you spent your Super Bowl Sunday with epic diarrhea brought on my indulging in too much bean dip, trapped under that 50'' TV.  I say trapped because you seem like the particular type of overcompensating individual who need to put that shit on the wall.  You also seem like the type of dumbass who wouldn't put the thing up there right.  Hope you enjoyed the game from you front row view!

To avoid this particular fate, do yourself a favor and either tip your server appropriately or don't let her know you just spent over a grand on a television.  Karma is a bitch after all.