16 February 2011

The Worst Kind of Bad Tippers

I'm not carrying this shit for fun!
Some people are just crappy tippers.  But of course you knew that because I've bitched about it before.  There is just nothing more disheartening than when you know you did an awesome job and you go to the table to find two bucks hiding behind the ketchup bottle.  That just plain sucks.  And makes you want to punch people.

Yet something more awful exists in the restaurant world.  Even worse than a regular bad tipper, is a bad tipper who is an awesome person.  What I'm talking about is when a table is cool and friendly and just all around seem like legit people and then they totally screw you over at the end.  You go through the whole dinner or lunch having a great time because you have one of those wonderful tables that makes it actually seem fun to be waiting on them hand and foot.

And of course in the end, these are the types of tables that you can usually guarantee at least a decent tip from.  Obviously that doesn't suck.  It's nice to do your job sometimes knowing you're going to be appropriately rewarded.  But then your hopes and dreams for 20% come crashing down.  They tipped like shit.

There is no worse feeling that when an awesome table leaves a less than awesome tip.  It's just one of those situations where you truly witness to how lame people can be.  Yes, it really sucks that bad.

If you're going to be a shitty tipper I almost wish you could just make it obvious from the beginning.  Run my ass off.  Speak to me like a child or a pet you don't particularly care for.  Make me feel like a piece of total shit.  When you do all that crap, I won't expect anything grand in the way of monetary compensation; I'll be ready for that 10% or less.  It'll still suck, but at least I'll have some warning of your suckage.

When you're nice and then tip like shit it's apparent that you have a dead, black soul.  Yes, you are soulless.  You toy with people.  You bring them up and make them smile and then crash reality down on them like a hammer.  A hammer of cheapness.  You, just plain effing suck.

Now, if you're elderly or Canadian you have a pass.  The rest of you, stay away from my damn section.


  1. I couldn't agree more! There is almost nothing more aggravation than awesome people who tip horribly! Love the blog =)


  2. My food service has been minimal, only clearing peoples plates during their meal at a buffet restaurant and working the counter at a cafe, but I am versed enough in having to whore my soul out for some crumpled singles and spare pocket change.
    In addition to my share of awesome people who seem to care and tip like shit, I've also had some extensive experiences with people who are terrible but tip when you expect nothing. Typically any time I picked up a little attitude from someone I would immediately double it up and serve it right back to them only (often) to be met with a tip where I assumed that their rudeness extended to the point of not tipping at all. This was always the worse for me because it pretty much made me feel juvenile and immediately guilty.

    But I work in a thrift store now, so that's behind me... ...I get dehumanized in different ways instead.

    I love your blog!

  3. Oh, and I totally agree that Canadian people and the elderly get a pass, twenty-first century America is indeed a mystical and bewildering land.

    I will share with you one type of tipper that will receive no such pass from me: CHURCH-GOERS!
    Not all church-goers, but the Holy-rollers who leave you PAMPHLETS instead of a tip!! I used to get this all the time; the church crowd straight from the arms of God, and hungry for excess amounts of bacon... ...bearing salvation as a tip.

    SALVATION IS NOT A TIP! Jesus would leave you a dollar if you cleared his plates inbetween courses!!

  4. Those are the worst kind of tippers. They set you up and let you down so hard! Ugh!

  5. I don't understand the Canadian stereotype, being Canadian myself. We tip too! The norm is about 15% for average service, 20% or more for exceptional service. I hear in the states, that 15 should be more like 18, but really... i would understand bitching about 10% or less, but if you served a table on a day where you just felt "meh" and didn't go above and beyond, would 15% really make you see red?

  6. I never really see red at 15% because that is acceptable and a common tipping amount. A lot of people just tip 15% all the time. Of course I prefer being tipped 20% or more and days when I make that are totally awesome. I am trying to make money after all.

    And as far as a day I "didn't go above and beyond," if that was the case I wouldn't be bitching at all. But honestly - and I'm not just tooting my own horn here - I don't do "meh" days. I come to work to do my job and regardless of how I feel outside of work that shit doesn't come with me. Leave your crap behind you when you clock-in.

    So when I know I do a good job, I believe I have the right to bitch.

  7. And for the record, my last Canadian customer left me $15 on a $25 dollar tab. So perhaps the gig is up, Canadians.

  8. Actually, I'm Canadian and although I always tip 15-20% (depending on service), I've heard this same line as well. Actually, when Canadian juniors were in Buffalo recently, there was a whole story in one of the local papers about their tipping habits. So maybe there's something to it, but if so, it's not something that I can pick up from myself or the other actual Canadians I've known (which is a lot, obviously!).

  9. Huh - I wonder if the whole myth that Canadians don't tip is the reasons that americans always leave me such crappy tips.

    15-20% is normal here is Canada, same as you guys.

    I would rather serve a nice table that left a sub-par tip than a crappy table that leaves a sub-par tip anyday. At least I get to talk to someone cool for part of my day!

  10. I'm getting the feeling that there are some nasty, not so nice Canadians who are taking advantage of this tipping stereotype. But I've had enough shitty Canadian tippers to lend quite a bit of credit to the stereotype. It's probably a conspiracy.

    But I would guess that the American stereotype that Canadians don't tip well might effect their habits across the border.

    It seems some of us are just screwing each other over...



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