|I'm not carrying this shit for fun!|
Some people are just crappy tippers. But of course you knew that because I've bitched about it before. There is just nothing more disheartening than when you know you did an awesome job and you go to the table to find two bucks hiding behind the ketchup bottle. That just plain sucks. And makes you want to punch people.
Yet something more awful exists in the restaurant world. Even worse than a regular bad tipper, is a bad tipper who is an awesome person. What I'm talking about is when a table is cool and friendly and just all around seem like legit people and then they totally screw you over at the end. You go through the whole dinner or lunch having a great time because you have one of those wonderful tables that makes it actually seem fun to be waiting on them hand and foot.
And of course in the end, these are the types of tables that you can usually guarantee at least a decent tip from. Obviously that doesn't suck. It's nice to do your job sometimes knowing you're going to be appropriately rewarded. But then your hopes and dreams for 20% come crashing down. They tipped like shit.
There is no worse feeling that when an awesome table leaves a less than awesome tip. It's just one of those situations where you truly witness to how lame people can be. Yes, it really sucks that bad.
If you're going to be a shitty tipper I almost wish you could just make it obvious from the beginning. Run my ass off. Speak to me like a child or a pet you don't particularly care for. Make me feel like a piece of total shit. When you do all that crap, I won't expect anything grand in the way of monetary compensation; I'll be ready for that 10% or less. It'll still suck, but at least I'll have some warning of your suckage.
When you're nice and then tip like shit it's apparent that you have a dead, black soul. Yes, you are soulless. You toy with people. You bring them up and make them smile and then crash reality down on them like a hammer. A hammer of cheapness. You, just plain effing suck.
Now, if you're elderly or Canadian you have a pass. The rest of you, stay away from my damn section.