08 May 2009

Journalism at its Finest

The following articles appeared this week in The Hellgate Lance, a local high school newspaper:

Battle of the sexes: HOOTERS

"Hooters girls, a.k.a. hookers, make prostitution legal. I have only been to Hooters once but everyone knows that women there dress in booty shorts and tight shirts just to show their rack. They prance around the restaurant getting undeserved attention from the males for their bodily features and sexual ditsy moves.

The whole idea of serving alcohol and half-dressed girls trying to get noticed sounds a lot like a lap-dance club where a stripper belongs, not a family restaurant. Might as well start putting tips in the clothes and not on the tables because the tips aren't for the food but for the sexual stunts pulled by these ladies.

Hooter women not only serve the food but have heated contest which include wet T-shirts and swim suits. Billboards advertise the Hooter woman of the year and what the average Hooter girl looks like (blonde hair and a big chest.) There are shirts and other items available to buy that have lines such as "hooter chicks dig my ride" that are available in sizes for people who are three years old!

The focus of Hooters is not on the food but on the waitresses. It is possible to get the same food cheaper at other restaurants so sex appeal is added to the mix to make the moolah.
This is the start of an industry of sexual behavior."
-Dani Tarbert ASST. News editor

"I'm just going to put this out there; hot wings taste like stale nacho cheese Doritos soaked in ammonium. Now that that's over with, here's my masculine perspective on the matter: I would find eating at Hooters a little awkward, especially being in a relationship at the moment. I mean, yes, I'm a guy therefore expected to love staring at huge breasts. And I suppose I do. That being said, I've never understood the appeal of such things. After all, if you're really so horny, isn't there enough free porn on the internet? Not that I keep track, but my friend's brother puts it, "rule number #1 of the internet; if you can think of it, it exists." I find the whole idea of Hooters distasteful.

On the other hand, people have a right to do what the want, and contrary to popular belief, exposure to sexual images-even, get this, before they're 18- isn't going to kill anyone. 4 out of 5 people lose their virginity by the time they graduate. 4 out of 5 people aren't crazed sexhounds; therefore, it's no great stretch to say that Hooters, while maybe not family-friendly, isn't corrupting anyone's mind, whatever puritan BS neoconservatives want us to believe.
Still, while I don't think it's a millionth as important as some make it, I will never eat at Hooters unless forced to. Whatever the official statement, the waitresses ARE essentially soft-core strippers. I doubt I'm missing much.

As for everyone else...well, if you can stick with that internet porn, you can eat better food."
-Kevin Rouse ASST. News Editor

Thank you Dani and Kevin for pointing out yet another shortcoming of the American education system! Apparently, high school journalism advisers aren't teaching kids the "Five W's" anymore but rather saying, "hey guys here's a computer, pull some shit out of your asses and we'll call it a newspaper!"

Whatever happened to actually learning the facts about something and reporting it? Whatever happened to being informed? I mean I get that most high school newspapers suck, but that doesn't mean it's ok to print something that is entirely demeaning to a group of decent, hardworking women you've never even met.

Now I realize these are both meant to be opinion pieces (though they were not printed on the opinion page but rather a "news" page) but last time I checked opinion was meant to be based on valid personal experiences not assumptions, rumor, and hearsay. It seems that while Dani has been to Hooters once and Kevin not at all, they are both experts on the subject of this "lap-dance club" (thanks Dani for that 1950s terminology, when you're 18 you'll learn that it's called a strip club and that in certain states of inebriation it can be wildly entertaining...just trust me on this one).

Now I could go on for hours pointing out the multiple inaccuracies of both of these pieces (um, wet t-shirt contests, sorry but no) but they point out themselves. Besides, that's not really the point. The point is that it's utterly disappointing that this is the sort of crap journalism that is being taught today. I'm all for opinion and choice and individuality, what I am not for is unintelligent, biased opinion and especially unintelligent, biased opinion that is thoughtlessly printed.

I would like to personally invite Dani and Kevin to Hooters. I'll be sure keep the "prostitution" to a minimum for Dani and Kevin, bring your girlfriend, we can discuss the contradiction that is "soft-core stripping". While you're here, I'm sure one of our Hooters Girls who is a student at the University of Montana School of Journalism could help you burn edit your next article. Just come in, try it out, form a real, informed opinion, and then if you decide to write about it fine. But please, leave your assumptions at the door because I guarantee I'll prove them wrong.


  1. Eh. I see your point, but I am rather unconcerned. I believed a lot of shit in high school that I would be embarrassed to admit now.

    It's the adults, who should know better, who make these kinds of statements that are so problematic.

  2. While I agree with you that the adults are more problematic, I still feel that the blatant misrepresentations of these "articles" are still angering.

    Also, uninformed 17-year-olds grow up to be uniformed 50-year-olds. Stupid adults have to come from somewhere...

  3. He's "in a relationship", sorry Rosie Palm and her five sisters does not count.

    As far as your fact checking, you are about as credible as the Weekly World News or The Onion (And at least The Onion staff can write circles around you.)

    Stop wondering why you are constantly getting stuffed into lockers....

  4. Both of those articles remind me of Angela from The Office. "Hooters Strip Club!" These people clearly have no idea what they're writing about.

  5. This is on a newspaper?

    So we have a sinking economy, unemployment at 25-year high and rising, a global pandemic, US fighting 2 wars, and what did two, not one news editors choose to write about?



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