26 May 2010

Viva Las Vegas

It's been nearly a week since I got back from Vegas and all I really know is that I can't wait to go back.  It really was the most fabulous vacation of my adult life (I say adult life because Disney World when I was twelve was pretty epic) and will most definitely be repeated.  Many times.  Since I got called out on my new Formspring account I figured I'd better post something about this most wonderful journey to Sin City.  Below I present my adventure with highlights from each day.

Day 1:  Sunday
I arrived in Vegas just after 11:00 a.m.  Alone.  My friends were all flying out of Billings, a city hundreds of miles from where I currently live.  They were also arriving over eight hours after I got there.  So I had some time on my hands and due to my name not being included in the room reservation I couldn't even check in.  Slightly annoying, but I'm awesome and can handle anything.   After dropping off my bag I decided to venture out onto the Strip.  Given that I was going to be spending the trip with mostly guys, I figured this would be prime shopping time.

Staying at Mandalay Bay, my journey down the strip was a long one.  I probably walked about a million miles through and around and through again just about every casino on the Strip.  I figured I not only got to shop, but got my exercise too.  Score! 

While in the Forum Shops at Caesar's I encountered the most beautiful shoes by Guess by Marciano.  I feel in love.  Then I saw they were $178.  I cringed.  I didn't buy them.  I thought about them constantly.  I walked more.  I didn't buy anything.  So I went back and I bought the shoes.  I felt like shit as I swiped my debit card.  I regretted it.  Oh well, they're really cute.

Day 2:  Monday
We had a cabana rented on the Mandalay Bay Beach for the day.  Lucky for us Vegas decided to be a little bitch and be windy and overcast and (for Vegas at least) cold.  Naturally, they wouldn't refund our money.  Little did they know we're from Montana so we toughed it out and enjoy our cabana anyway.  So there Mandalay Bay!

Day 3:  Tuesday
I'm not much of gambler, but I decided to put a twenty in slot machine.  I was freaking in Vegas after all!  I sit down at one of those banks of machines where you can win a car.  It had a red Camero in the center.  So effing sexy.  So I put in my twenty, hit bet max and hit the button.  I hit three out of four on the first pull.  Had I hit four I'd have won the car.  I won almost four hundred in one effing pull and I cashed out.  I moved to another machine, put in twenty and twenty became fifty.  I cashed out.  I tried my hand at blackjack.  I won.  I cashed out.  I was $700 up.  I didn't feel bad about the shoes anymore.

We ended the night at Mix Bar located on top of THEhotel at Mandalay Bay.  It was the sweetest bar ever.  I mean even the bathroom had a view.  I'm talking from the toilet.  I was impressed.  While at Mix we also made some new friends.  People from Montana have a way of making best friends wherever they go.  It's a gift really.  Suddenly we found ourselves in a cab bound for the Playboy Club with a group from Indianapolis celebrating a 40th birthday.  The whole night was nothing less than amazing.

Oh and we saw Terry Fator.  Not really my thing, but talented for sure!

Day 4:  Wednesday
Today I experienced Hooters.  It was laughable at best.  Rundown and small, it was downright awful after spending time in places like the Bellagio and Wynn.  But it was certainly delightfully tack and quite unrefined so I guess they achieved their goal.  The first thing I notice was that they wore the old style shorts.  It made me feel bad for them being forced to look like total shit like that on a daily basis.  But then again the talent left a lot to be desired anyway.  I think they were probably the girls that didn't make the pirate show at Treasure Island.  Depressing. 

Luckily, I only went there to get a shirt.  With paystub in hand, I inquired if they would do a shirt swap.  I was rudely informed that they don't do that.  That is what "other Hooters" do.  Not the casino.  But I could go buy one for twenty effing dollars in the swag shop.  Ok, first off I have never seen a Hooters that sells the Lycras (Hooters speak).  And second I know that they buy them wholesale for less than six dollars.  Of course I still bought one and I'm sure they knew I would.  I bet they make bank off of Hooters Girls from around the country.  So very soulless.

That night I experienced Cirque du Soleli "O".  This can only be described as the most amazing thing I have ever seen - much more my style than Terry Fator.  I would honestly go back to Vegas just to see O again.  Go see it.  Seriously.  You need it in your life.

While walking back down the Strip we chanced upon an outdoor karaoke bar.  Of course I had to stop and sing and I performed what is quite possibly the most awesome rendition of "Don't Stop Believing" that has every escaped my lips.  I shit you not, people were stopping on the Strip and cheering and clapping.  It was amazing.  I mean it could have been for the sequined skirt I was wearing (check out that blockhead) or maybe for the inflatable guitar playing karaoke host, but I'm not really sure.  All I know is, that I loved it.  It was also at this time that I heard my name screamed from behind the crowd and ran into a fellow Hooters Girl.  In Vegas.  No prior planning.  Weird but awesome.

The rest of the night I spent partying my mind away.  I was flying out at 6:15 a.m. and I planned on not remembering that flight home.  I think I achieved my goal.  I am fairly certain that Allegiant schedules the flight that early just so the crew can laugh at people.  Haggard doesn't even describe it.

And that was my trip to Vegas very, very, very summarized.  All you really need to know is that in the end I came out $200 ahead.  Including all my expenses.  Awesome.  I actually made money.  I rock.  Now when can I go back?


  1. I'm actually in Vegas right now. Gotta say it was.probably those blue shoes that got you the cheers. Yeah, that's it, the shoes...

    Good to hear you left town up, I probably won't.

  2. They're even blue suede shoes! That obviously makes them cooler. You're right, must have been those haha.

    Fingers crossed I left some luck behind for you!

  3. Hooters?really?

  4. Thanks for leaving a bit of luck for me. I left town up about $40, so i'll call it even.

    For a shirt, you should have caught a cab out to Sunset Station where there's a Hooters Restaurant. The casino is Hooters in name only; but you found that out.



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