What NOT To Do If You Want To Get Hired At Hooters

I've seen lots of people come to interview for jobs at Hooters.  I mean people of all types.  Guys, girls, young, old, pretty, not so pretty - you name it, I've seen it.  Some of these people got jobs and lots of them didn't for all sorts of reasons.  A lot of times people simply aren't qualified or we're not hiring, but all too often people aren't hired because they epically fail when they come in to interview or even when they come in to pick up the application.  Here I present a list of things NOT to do when applying for a job at Hooters.

1.   Don't come in at noon or 7:00 p.m. to request an application
All too often, I see people coming in at the most awkward times to pick up an application.  This totally baffles me.  If one is going to be applying at a restaurant you'd think they'd have enough sense to not come in at the busiest times to try and get a job.  Lunch is busy.  Dinner is busy.  Don't come in and get an effing application when it's busy.  You look like an idiot or at the very least incredibly inconsiderate; neither of which are desirable in an employee.  Do yourself and - hopefully - your future employer a favor and come in between 2:00 and 4:00 p.m.  Or better yet call ahead and see when the restaurant you're applying to prefers to accept applications.  Trust me, you'll look like a way better potential employee this way.

2.   Don't bring your friend/significant other/family member in with you

I have actually seen people sit down to interview with someone else in tow.  This is hardly impressive and makes you look like you can't handle your shit.  Are they going to come to work with you?  No, so why would they come to the interview with you?  Be an adult and handle your own shit.  Are you twelve?  You don't need anyone holding your hand.

3.   Don't dress like a total skank or total slob
I realize you're applying at Hooters, but please don't come in hanging out all over the effing place.  Hooters hires the "girl next door" not the slut around the corner.  While I would suggest you dress to show off your body, I advise you do so in a professional manner.  Yes, it's Hooters.  No, you don't need to be dressed up in business attire, but do look like you give two shits.  This will show that you're serious about the job and put in some effort.  Believe me, you are not impressive when you come in looking like you just rolled out of bed and put on the first slutty dress you could find.  You look like the epitome of the walk of shame.  This is not a good thing.

4.   Don't fill out the application like an idiot
While honesty is important don't list on your application that you "hated the boss" or "couldn't get out of bed" as reasons for leaving a previous position.  Yes, I've actually seen both these things on applications.  Actually, I've seen a lot of stupid things that basically scream, "I am a total ass-clown."  Trust me, no one wants to hire an ass-clown.  You'd think this would be the most obvious thing, but people seem to write whatever the hell they want on an application.  "Der, paper.  Let me scribble words on it."

Also, watch your spelling and write legibly.  Nothing says idiot like misspelling the word restaurant or waitress or writing them so sloppily you might as well have written elephant or plaster of paris.

5.   Don't forget to look good

In case you didn't notice, Hooters is image based.  As such it is important to look the part when you come in (if you're applying to be a Hooters Girl).  Wear makeup.  You'll be expected to wear it at work so wear it when you apply.  Not a lot, just enough to emphasize your best features.  You know what these are.

More important than the make up is your hair.  I.E. don't wear you hair like you just rolled out of bed after you got rammed into the headboard for the last six hours.  Sex hair/bead head/I didn't even know I had hair let alone did it/grease never, ever, never looks good.  Do yourself a favor and AT LEAST run a comb through that shit.

6.   Don't be a bitch to the girls on shift
Perhaps the quickest way to not get a job at Hooters is to be a dirty whore to the girls on shift.  Most likely they'll be the ones to take your application and the first to get an impression of you.  Odds are the manager will ask the girls if you were pretty and had the right personality to get a call back.  If you are a bitch you can be pretty sure they'll say you were a mute troll even if you're effing Megan Fox.  The girls you meet when you come in are your potential coworkers so you should treat them as such.  If you're nice to them and show a bit of personality odds are they'll report well to the manager.  Think of them as your first interview.

7.   Don't come in wearing a Hooters shirt
You look like a groupie idiot.  Seriously.  Take that shit off.  This is not an Abercrombie store; we're not impressed.

8.   Don't show up late to your interview

Seriously?!  Effing self explanatory.

Now you'd think all of this would be pretty common sense, but apparently it's anything but.  Everyday I am thoroughly entertained by idiots that come in to apply.  Are they really idiots?  Maybe not, but they certainly present themselves that way.  If you really want a job take the time to think about what you're doing and make sure that you present yourself correctly.  Trust me.  I know these things.