Are You Smarter Than a Hooters Girl?

She has glasses.  Obviously smart.

Wednesdays are trivia nights at my Hooters.  We call it “Are You Smarter Than a Hooters Girl?”  Feel free to make any jokes now.  I know exactly how that sounds.  Way back when we started doing trivia the name was just that – a name.  At no point did you actual play against a Hooters Girl.  This also meant that at no point did you get to find out if you were smarter than any Hooters Girls.  Unless you count the fact that I got the joy of writing all those trivia questions every week.  I’d say that made me a pretty smart Hooters Girl.  And one that totally hated Wednesdays.

Then a miracle happened.  In December we got Buzztime Trivia.  You know, that fancy on the TV trivia with the little blue answer boxes you can play at some restaurants and bars.  That meant that I never had to write another trivia question.  All these months later and I still haven’t had to write even one question.  It’s pretty much amazing.

What has changed however, is there is actually an “Are You Smarter Than a Hooters Girl?” game.  Of course we usually don’t play that.  It’s not that it’s not a good game, it’s that the crowd doesn’t like it as much as regular hosted trivia.  Hosted trivia is not only longer, but involves me as a host rather than a contestant.  Which people love.  I’m just loveable I suppose.

Of course this doesn’t mean that “Are You Smarter” has been totally avoided.  It’s been played a few times – mostly when our owner is around – including this evening.  And tonight, just like the other times we’ve played, it’s ended the same way.  I won.  In fact I am currently undefeated in “Are You Smarter Than a Hooters Girl?”  I suppose that means that no one is in fact smarter than this Hooters Girl.

While my success proves that fact, people instead see my winning as nothing but cheating.  It is assumed that I have seen the questions and answers before hand.  It is assumed incorrectly.  Believe it or not it is possible for a Hooters Girl to be smarter than you.

All my winning and all the subsequent whining has made it pretty clear that people don’t think smart and Hooters Girl go together.  Obviously this isn’t news to me, but it still pisses me right off.  Just because some girls aren’t the brightest bulbs doesn’t mean I’m one of them.  I’m lit up like a damn runway.  It also doesn’t mean I’m a cheater.  Guess what?  I’m smart and honest.  That’s just a few of the things that make me totally awesome.

Next time I kick your ass at trivia rest assured it’s totally reliant on my own laurels.  Yes, I really am smarter than you.  And look great in ultra tan pantyhose.  It’s a gift.