A New Worst Kind of Tipper

So sad, so true.  CREDIT.

Once upon a time I said that the worst kind of bad tipper was the kind that was super nice, only to screw you over in the end.  I also said that a part of me wished they’d make their shittiness known initially so I wouldn’t be surprised.  Well, I was wrong.  Yes, I really am admitting I was wrong.  It’s hard for me.  But I’ve discovered something so much worse that I have to swallow my I’m-always-right pride.

During a Monday bar shift, a few gentlemen sat down and ordered a couple sodas and a twenty-piece wing.  Now sometimes, and this only seems to happen at the bar, people like to pay right away even when eating in.  I’m not really sure why people do this considering it doesn’t change the fact that they still have to sit and wait and eat their food.  Personally, I think it’s sort of weird, but to each their own.

A twenty is left on the bar and I grab it to make change for their $17.77 tab.  I count back the $2.23 and set it on the bar.  Almost immediately the change was pushed forward in an obvious “this is your tip” motion.  Before I go on, lets do the math.  That’s 12%.  While that’s not the worst tip I’ve ever received – that one goes to the ever-evil zero of course – it’s certainly not good.  It was definitely low enough to be mildly insulting.

Now how am I supposed to be inspired to not treat you like shit when you’ve basically told me I’m not worth more than your pocket change?  Do you think that generosity makes me want to give you the impeccable service I try to give to all my customers?  Nope, it sure doesn’t.  It really makes me want to punch you in the face so I can knock you out and go through your pockets for the rest of the tip I know I’ll be earning.

Of course, even knowing these guys were shitty tippers outright I still did my job even though I wanted to be a total bitch.  That certainly doesn’t mean it was easy.  Especially when they sprinkled the whole experience with slightly inappropriate and nearly wholly insulting comments.  Each glaringly made over the $2.23 I purposely left sitting on the bar.  It was my only way of making some grandiose statement about how much they sucked.  Naturally it was totally lost on them.  Though everyone else at the bar seemed to get the message.

“Wow, that was really disrespectful of those guys,” said a diner a few seats down after the two had finally left.

For the record, if other customers notice how much you suck it’s a pretty good indication that you suck extra hard.

Next time, forget the fact that I said I’d want to know upfront about your crappy tipping habits and just be sneaky as shit about it in the end.  Hide your change under your water glass for all I care.  Just don’t insult me before I’ve even had the chance to bring you your wings.  That’s just downright mean.  And no one likes a meanie.