17 May 2011

A New Worst Kind of Tipper

So sad, so true.  CREDIT.
Once upon a time I said that the worst kind of bad tipper was the kind that was super nice, only to screw you over in the end.  I also said that a part of me wished they’d make their shittiness known initially so I wouldn’t be surprised.  Well, I was wrong.  Yes, I really am admitting I was wrong.  It’s hard for me.  But I’ve discovered something so much worse that I have to swallow my I’m-always-right pride.

During a Monday bar shift, a few gentlemen sat down and ordered a couple sodas and a twenty-piece wing.  Now sometimes, and this only seems to happen at the bar, people like to pay right away even when eating in.  I’m not really sure why people do this considering it doesn’t change the fact that they still have to sit and wait and eat their food.  Personally, I think it’s sort of weird, but to each their own.

A twenty is left on the bar and I grab it to make change for their $17.77 tab.  I count back the $2.23 and set it on the bar.  Almost immediately the change was pushed forward in an obvious “this is your tip” motion.  Before I go on, lets do the math.  That’s 12%.  While that’s not the worst tip I’ve ever received – that one goes to the ever-evil zero of course – it’s certainly not good.  It was definitely low enough to be mildly insulting.

Now how am I supposed to be inspired to not treat you like shit when you’ve basically told me I’m not worth more than your pocket change?  Do you think that generosity makes me want to give you the impeccable service I try to give to all my customers?  Nope, it sure doesn’t.  It really makes me want to punch you in the face so I can knock you out and go through your pockets for the rest of the tip I know I’ll be earning.

Of course, even knowing these guys were shitty tippers outright I still did my job even though I wanted to be a total bitch.  That certainly doesn’t mean it was easy.  Especially when they sprinkled the whole experience with slightly inappropriate and nearly wholly insulting comments.  Each glaringly made over the $2.23 I purposely left sitting on the bar.  It was my only way of making some grandiose statement about how much they sucked.  Naturally it was totally lost on them.  Though everyone else at the bar seemed to get the message.

“Wow, that was really disrespectful of those guys,” said a diner a few seats down after the two had finally left.

For the record, if other customers notice how much you suck it’s a pretty good indication that you suck extra hard.

Next time, forget the fact that I said I’d want to know upfront about your crappy tipping habits and just be sneaky as shit about it in the end.  Hide your change under your water glass for all I care.  Just don’t insult me before I’ve even had the chance to bring you your wings.  That’s just downright mean.  And no one likes a meanie.


  1. wow that sucks. not only is that a below average tip (as you've already noted) but you shouldn't tip someone until you've had the opportunity to evaluate their service. cheapskates, the lot of them!

  2. "For the record, if other customers notice how much you suck it’s a pretty good indication that you suck extra hard." <-- This is a great line!! Great blog as usual.

  3. This isn't directly related to this posting but rather your blog as a whole; I am a Hooters Girl in Michigan and reading your blog makes me appreciate the Hooters Corporation all the more. Your blog makes me realize just how much I do actually love my job and I have never been able to say that about any of my previous jobs. My store is currently in our slow season so we have all had our hours cut (6 days a week down to 2) and after reading your blog for hours (I just discovered it's existence and am most likely borderline obsessed with it) I cannot wait to get home to my Hooters store for my thursday shift!

  4. My grandmother would always pay up front, for some reason. And I'm sure those guys thought they were being extra generous--people like that have no clue, in my experience.

  5. I almost never let people pay up front specifically to avoid these moments. I always tell them that I can't except payment until they've tasted their meal and I know that it's great! (with a big cheesy smile) because people who pay up front are the same kind of people who would then complain about the food. And once you've cashed them out there's not much you can do.

  6. Hooters Girl here! This happened to me the other day... I was waiting on a party of six, and well before they got their food, they had already laid out their two dollar tip for me by the sugar caddy. For a $70 tab. Thanks, ghetto Mexican bitches! Hope you didn't need refills. :P

  7. I do not see a problem with paying "upfront". Fast-food restaurants and some dinners do this. I am beginning to see more restaurants use this pay method.

    This payment method also solves one major problem: no more "dine-n-dash". LOL

  8. i agree with you completely and work in the restaurant industry myself. back in the day, TIPS was an acronym for To Insure Prompt Service. people would tip in advance or as they go along to ensure they would get good service or service that matched their tip. so if someone wants to tell you in advance that they are cheap, don't feel you have to go the extra mile to take care of them. they're willingly giving you the green light to ignore them after you drop off their wings. you're getting screwed over but hopefully they're learning from this.



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