Silverware and Wings are Not Friends

Yum?  CREDIT.

In case anyone was wondering, wings are most defiantly a finger food.  This means you actually get to pick them up with your hands and stuff them in your hungry little face.  Your fingers become your utensils.  That’s just the way it is with wings.  And it’s one of the many reasons why we love the shit out of them.

That being said, nothing makes me cringe more than when a diner asks for silverware after I drop off a plate of spicy, greasy goodness at a table.  While I’m all for my guests being happy, there is probably nothing more awkward than watching a person try to attack a pile of wings with a fork and knife.  It’s just completely and utterly unnatural.

Imagine someone attempting to hold down a hot wing with a fork as it desperately tries to roll across the plate.  In their other hand, a knife painstakingly works at cutting the meat from the little, round bones.  The whole scene is just as uncomfortable as it sounds.

Every time this happens it takes everything within me not to yell, “pick the damn wings up and eat them!”  After all there is nothing in the least bit civilized about chicken wings.  And I think that’s kind of the point.  Wings are one of those wonderful foods that allow you to forgo all manners and eat like a caveman.  You can get dirty and no one cares.  You can eat with abandon.  You can be a total pig.  It’s all so wonderfully American.

So when it comes to wings, fork and knife need not apply.  If you’re one of those “proper” sorts of people that attempt the wing cutlery combo, please remember what you’re eating.  Also remember that your server is probably laughing at you as you struggle.  Do yourself a favor and pick those wings up and dig in.  After all there’s a reason why I give you endless paper towels and wet naps.  And it’s not so you can use a stupid fork.