02 May 2011

Silverware and Wings are Not Friends

In case anyone was wondering, wings are most defiantly a finger food.  This means you actually get to pick them up with your hands and stuff them in your hungry little face.  Your fingers become your utensils.  That’s just the way it is with wings.  And it’s one of the many reasons why we love the shit out of them.

That being said, nothing makes me cringe more than when a diner asks for silverware after I drop off a plate of spicy, greasy goodness at a table.  While I’m all for my guests being happy, there is probably nothing more awkward than watching a person try to attack a pile of wings with a fork and knife.  It’s just completely and utterly unnatural.

Imagine someone attempting to hold down a hot wing with a fork as it desperately tries to roll across the plate.  In their other hand, a knife painstakingly works at cutting the meat from the little, round bones.  The whole scene is just as uncomfortable as it sounds.

Every time this happens it takes everything within me not to yell, “pick the damn wings up and eat them!”  After all there is nothing in the least bit civilized about chicken wings.  And I think that’s kind of the point.  Wings are one of those wonderful foods that allow you to forgo all manners and eat like a caveman.  You can get dirty and no one cares.  You can eat with abandon.  You can be a total pig.  It’s all so wonderfully American.

So when it comes to wings, fork and knife need not apply.  If you’re one of those “proper” sorts of people that attempt the wing cutlery combo, please remember what you’re eating.  Also remember that your server is probably laughing at you as you struggle.  Do yourself a favor and pick those wings up and dig in.  After all there’s a reason why I give you endless paper towels and wet naps.  And it’s not so you can use a stupid fork.


  1. once, i think at keno's or something, i tried to have wings with a fork and knife and gave up after about 6 seconds of accomplishing nothing but shame. sometimes you just gotta get wing sauce all over your fingers and damn the consequences!

  2. I'm actually pretty good at eating wings with a knife and fork. But then again, I do the same with pizza...

  3. Heh. Yeah, I could see people doing that. I don't get it. Though it may make a popular YouTube video.

  4. This can't possibly apply to boneless wings--those you can eat with a fork easily! Bone-in though, it's hilarious to watch someone try to eat them with actual silverware instead of their freaking hands!

  5. Yes, boneless wings are an entirely different animal. In fact lets just be honest here and call them what they really are: sauce covered chicken nuggets.

    Sauce covered chicken nuggets always come with a fork because that's how I'd expect most people to eat them.

  6. Good Post, I am a big believer in posting comments on blogs and forums to inform the blog writers know that they have added something advantageous to the world wide web!

  7. I watched one of my friends attempt to eat wings with a plastic fork... which she subsequently broke. Then she tried to tear them apart with a napkin because she couldn't bear to touch them. It was torture to watch. I was thinking "why would you get those if you aren't going to eat them right?!" between wanting to scream "just gnaw them for god's sake!"
    She didn't.

  8. What would be awesome would be to give the fool a spork. That vid would go viral in a heartbeat.

  9. this all commentators and also you cute...as your post



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