I’ve never found myself in a position where I needed to worry about being fired. Not only is doing a job poorly not in my personality, but being the daughter of two bakers/business owners who have dealt with their share of shitty employees I know what not to do. However I imagine that if I ever was going to do something fire worthy I’d be sure to go out with a bang. I’d throw shit and punch a couple customers in the throat and scream obscenities in the most profane combinations. I would be fired, but I would be a legend.
The following – which happened last week – is what I definitely wouldn’t do:
One of our newest girls had just gotten off shift when she decided to stop at the bar. Sitting down and talking to a regular, he kindly offered to buy her a drink, which she readily accepted. At this point the bartender – who had never worked with this particular girl – asked if she was old enough. Well of course she was old enough! She was 23 after all, she pointed out. She was soon enough sipping a sugary blended margarita full of body warming tequila.
Just about then the manager walked by. Though this manager had never worked with this new hire either she was pretty sure she was not 23. In fact she was pretty sure she was under 21. So she asked a few girls and finally went to the employee files. You know, where important things are kept like Xeroxes of IDs. It didn’t take long to find what she was looking for. I’ll give you one guess who was 19.
The manager approached the girl and a bit of a commotion began. Just as the drink was being taken away our owner, who happened to be sitting directly behind the underage employee in question having a few drinks with friends, overheard what was going on at the bar next to him. After he heard what had happened he fired her on the spot.
Yes, that actually effing happened. First off, how dumb do you have to be drink underage at a place where you’re employed? After all they have all your information readily available for cross-referencing. That’s just down right stupid. And that’s before you account for the fact that the man who owns the restaurant is close enough to smell the tequila on your lying breath. I’m sorry, but that’s pretty much one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard.
Of course as the story began to spread around the restaurant like wildfire it became apparent that she’d not tried to drink at work once before, but twice. She went from plain stupid to downright slow as shit. I’m still amazed at the IQ deficiency that sort of decision-making would require.
And as far as the bartender goes, who wouldn’t believe a fellow employee who so adamantly claimed she was old enough? Honestly, I think I would have served her too in that situation. It would never have crossed my mind that she’d lie with two managers and our owner milling around. My guess is she probably didn’t even think about it. Or didn’t care.
So that’s this week’s top way to get fired. I’m sincerely hoping no one tops it. For this week at least.