23 May 2011

Or Maybe Corporate Isn't Coming

After all of that cleaning and scaring the absolute shit out of the new girls, corporate isn't coming after all.  It seems that sometimes air travel just doesn't want to cooperate with flying across the country.  With delay after delay, it just didn't make sense for our trainer to trek out to Montana just to turn around again and leave.  I am both disappointed and entirely ecstatic.

Imagine my carefully made up dismay when I arrived to work only to find out there would be no visit.  Not only had I bought a brand new top and pouch for the event, I'd painstakingly cleaned my Sketchers to make them as white as possible.  Beyond that I had gone the extra mile and went full on glamour with fake eyelashes.  Now I love fake eyelashes, but I don't love them enough to get my ass out of bed to wear them in the morning without a damn good reason.  Sleep wins over 100% eye perfection every time no matter how good that shit looks.

Needless to say I was looking like a slice of Hooters Girl perfection.  Wasted on a Monday morning.  At least my customers probably thought I looked amazing.  Or entirely overdone for a Monday morning.  Either way.

So guess who gets to teach Image and Renegade Service class during the season finale of her all time, totally nerdy, favorite show tomorrow?  Yup, this eyelash wearing, overachieving, total corporate ready girl.

You just wait till next time, my corporate friends.  I've been eating like a champ and lost 2% body fat after my first month of bootcamp.  I'm getting toned as shit.  Add that to the eyelashes and I'll be so corporate ready it'll hurt their eyes.  See you soon.


  1. I don't know why, but the whole eyelash thing [I love them, but not enough to get my ass out of bed for them] just cracked me up.

    Sorry corporate wasn't there to appreciate your fabulousness [seriously, that stinks] but thank you for the post. I am still laughing.

  2. Heh. I totally understand the way you felt when they had to cancel. We had an audit a couple months ago of some documentation and I'm responsible for our part of it--always makes me nervous. Fortunately they auditors weren't looking to talk to me so I just had to answer a couple minor questions from my boss and that was it. Whew! I had boned up on our corporate policies and procedures, though. Just in case.



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