15 June 2010

Not So Smart Girl and the Wedgie

When I began my journey at Hooters I figured I'd spend a fair amount of my time defending my job.  Perhaps not even so much as defending my job, but rather defending my own intelligence and substance.  Defending myself as an individual.  And it turns out that yes; I have had to do my fair share of proving myself in a way.  I've had to show people that I am not some stereotype and that - perhaps more importantly - that stereotype doesn't really exist.  But you know all this. 

What I wasn't really prepared for when I began at Hooters was the fact that my family would also have to defend my job.  This leap is understandable, but it's not something that really crossed my mind until the first time I watched my Mom defend me in front of a particularly nosey and outspoken neighbor.  You know the type; we all have one in neighborhood.  It was then that I realized my family had to escape the Hooters stigma too. 

My sister has perhaps done the most in defending my job.  When at a party, she encountered a girl speaking about one of her classmates.  I'm not sure of the full content of the conversation, but I know it was punctuated by "and get this, she freaking works at Hooters" and other such negative things.  The girl she happened to be talking about was Ariel and my sister just so happens to adore her.

Sister:  "Oh you know Ariel?  She is so perfect and gorgeous and smart.  Did you know she's a philosophy major?  And on top of being pretty and smart she's generally awesome too."

Score, sister, score.  But that altercation is not the most heinous thing my dear sister has encountered.  The most awful thing happened in class.  In a university meant to be a bastion of higher learning.  You know, a place where people are supposed to smart.  Apparently admission standards have really gone downhill.  Anyway, there she was one day in class discussing something or other that was generally educationally when this happened.

Not So Smart Girl:  "Well Hooters has the highest fecal matter of any restaurant because the girls there are always having to pick their wedgies.  That's why I'd never eat there."

Naturally, my outspoken, opinionated, awesome sister went on to shut this girl down because she is - as I mentioned - awesome.  And actually has a brain.  That's important to note as well.  I love you, dear sister, thanks for further illustrating the splendid thing that is our gene pool. 

So, Not So Smart Girl, lets break this down shall we.  First off, I don't pick my wedgies at work.  Believe it or not, nylons are rather taut and as such I don't get many wedgies.  I have to say, the whole not having wedgies thing is a pretty nice feeling.  Second, if I did pick a wedgie at work I'd likely follow said wedgie picking with hand washing.  Mainly this is because I'd probably be picking my wedgie in the privacy of a bathroom.  As hot as picking nylons and shorts out of my crack on the floor would be I don't think my customers would really appreciate it.  Finally, why on earth would there be fecal matter involved at all.  I'm pretty sure the best way to pick a wedgie is from the outside, not the inside, of the situation.  Why on earth would I randomly have my hand down the inside of my nylons in my butt crack?  That's right, I wouldn't.  So this leaves me with the idea that you somehow think that I have poop all over the outside of my shorts.  How the hell did that get there?!  That's just awkward.

Don't worry, Not So Smart Girl, my hand did not go from my crack to your Daytona wings.  I'm pretty sure I know about basic hygiene.  Or at least I know a lot more about it than you know about basic logic.   


  1. Not one of those women in that picture has a wedgie, that stupid girl is just jealous, because you need a nice body to work at hooters, something she probably does not have!

  2. hahahahaha this is hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh, I needed that

  3. love to read your thoughts. v. funny! some people's brains never fully develop!

  4. oh my gosh what a rude, judgey girl! but good for your awesome sister lol!

  5. I hate that people judge you without considering the whole of your personality. At the same time, they only know what they've heard or what they've seen.

    An acquaintance of mine used to work for a Hooters where they measured thighs, hips and waist regularly. Any girl that didn't fit the measurements was fired.

    I suppose that's warranted because you have to maintain the body, but if I heard that story and how it made her feel, imagine the number of other stories floating around.

    I encourage you to see both sides of the coin, even though you've chosen to remain with the chain. Not all critics are closed-minded, right?

    Just the weird ones that rail about wedgies! LOL

  6. I agree with you that there are some horrible stories like the one you mentioned associated with Hooters. I guess my main point is the criticism that is relate to judgement due to some stereotype of the girls themselves. This is the criticism I personally can't stand.

    I also agree that not all critics are closed-minded. But the problem is that for some reason it seems that lots of critics have no idea what they are talking about. If you have an educated, informed negative opinion resulting from some valid experience then I have no problem with you having a poor opinion. In fact I hope that opinion would be shared in the name of educated debate and discussion.

    I am all for people saying what they want, when they want. I just wish more people would be informed when they do so.

  7. I have to defend my job too, but not for the same reasons. It's really annoying but for you it's even worse. I didn't realize Hooter's girls had such a stigma. I read a book called "SLUT! Growing up female with a bad reuputation." Basically, that negativity is how those other girls deal with feeling inadequate compared to you.

    Also---maybe Not so smart girl should consider not soiling herself everytime she has a wedgie. They're not that scary!

    Like the blog. And it'd be awesome if you could check mine out sometime: withmonsters.blogspot.com

  8. I just discovered your blog recently, so I hope you won't mind my commenting on a past entry. With that out of the way, I want to say that I think your sister is pretty awesome.



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