06 June 2010

2010 Minus 1988

This is a college town.  As such it's pretty normal to encounter kids that will try pretty much anything to get a drink before they're twenty-one.  Nearly everyday at jumpstart we are cautioned to check IDs and told about police stings and grilled on the "on or before date."  Basically we are frightened into checking IDs.  It doesn't scare me, I ID lots of people.  After all, Hooters has a policy of IDing anyone thirty-five and under and I don't have any qualms in doing so.  Some girls are worried they'll offend people.  I'm sorry if I offend you for doing my job.  Oh wait, no, no I'm not sorry.  Now give me your effing ID.

The other day, one of my fellow Hooters Girls had a table of three men.  They were obviously over twenty-one and most likely over thirty so she didn't worry about carding them.  I wouldn't have either most likely.  So she brought them a pitcher along with their glass and two extra glasses for friends that would be joining them.  This was hardly unusual. 

However, what happened next was hardly normal as the two aforementioned friends took their place at the table.  First off they were young, hardly close in age to the thirty-somethings already at the table.  Second, while one seemed totally down to be drinking the big pitcher of dark beer, the other was incredibly hesitant.  So hesitant that he conveniently waited until his Hooter Girl had left his immediate vicinity to fill his glass.  It was evident to me nearly right away that this boy was just that - a boy.  Clearly he was NOT over twenty-one.

Walking up to his Hooters Girl I enquired if she'd checked his ID.

Hooters Girl:  "Well I want to, but now he's already drinking and I don't want to make it awkward."

Sauce:  "Yeah, but it'll be a lot more awkward if you don't and something happens.  I mean you don't want to get in trouble because you were afraid to ID him."

The conversation went back and forth in the same general direction until finally she decided to card him.  Going up to the table Hooters Girl carefully asked to see his ID.

Hooters Girl:  "I know that you're already enjoying that beer, but I still need to see your ID.  Sorry to be a pain!"

Dumbshit:  "Oh man, I think I left my ID in the car.  I'm total twenty-one though.  My birthday is January 30, 1988.  See twenty-one."

Hooters Girl:  "Um, that would make you twenty-two."

Dumshit:  "No, '88.  Twenty-one."

Hooters Girl:  "Yeah, I just turned twenty-one and I was born in 1989.  '88, twenty-two.  I'm sorry, but I can't let you drink that without an ID even if you are twenty-two and born in 1988.  How about a soda?"

Head hung in shame to hide his embarrassment as well as his blushing face, he asked for a water that Hooters Girl quickly brought.  Within minutes everything was forgotten and the table was laughing and enjoying their meal as if it had never happened.  Even Dumbshit.

Moral of the story?  First off I'm probably going to card you no matter what.  Get that idea figured out now.  Second, if you're going to try and bullshit me at least have your fucking math right.  Yes, we work at Hooters but we do actually know how to add.  A strange but true fact.  Nice try.  Now enjoy your water.


  1. I love this! I work for Red Robin and we card anyone 39 1/2 and under... yeah i know random age but I card anyone. So good for you and Good for her for carding. I just wish people didn't treat their waitress like we're dumb blonds

  2. Recently our hostess asked a man for his ID and he completely flipped shit on her. Then he yelled at his server, who in turn yelled at the hostess. Then I stepped in and yelled at the server and the man.

    State law: You HAVE to show your ID if you want an alcoholic beverage.

    State law: The person who served you an alcoholic beverage if you are underage will be fined $750, and receive 6 months probation.

    State law: If you are involved in an accident after drinking either too much or drinking underage, the person who served you can be held responsible.

    Restaurant policy: If you serve someone underage you lose your job.

    So show your ID or get lost.

  3. haha what a dumbass!! That was halarious to read. Some kids are so stupid! In the UK we have the same thing were we need to be 18 to drink but 15 year olds try and get away with it - silly children haha. Well done for standing your ground =]



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