Sauce and Colette (or How Colette Lost his Voice)

After pictorially alluding to owning a teddy bear, I figure it's only fitting that I introduce you to the first love of my life, Colette (no offense, Dreamy).  We've been together for the past twenty-four years, so you could call it a pretty serious long-term relationship.  Oh and for the record, Colette is a boy.  I realize that makes no sense, but I was three when I named him so deal with it.  He's comfortable with his sexuality.

Here is Colette in all his handsome glory.  I'd say he has a very distinguished look to him.  Clearly I've loved him quite literally to pieces.

All this talk and thought about my first leading man reminded me of a Little Sauce story about Colette.  You see once upon a time Colette had a beautiful voice.  He could sing "It's a Small World" oh so sweetly.  But of course Little Sauce had to go ahead and ruin that.  Here is the story of how Colette lost his voice.

Colette and I were pretty much inseparable; where I went Colette was sure to be drug behind.  Or tied to the back of my banana-seat bike.  Or tucked in my backpack.  Or even once, put on a leash.  Colette and I were practically one and the same.  Only he was furry.  And not real.

One of my favorite pastimes was to dress Colette in any number of outfits.  Mom wouldn't let me have Barbies, so Colette became my doll.  He wore lots of dresses.  But my favorite outfit for Colette was one of my many matching nightgown sets.  That way we could match.  Clearly he was a very tolerant man bear.

Then one day Mom brought home a bear sized bathing suit.  It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen and wasted no time yanking and pulling the little one-piece onto Colette.  I was in love with the newest addition to Colette's wardrobe.

Soon it began to get hotter and Mom got out the kiddy pool in the backyard and my days were spent pretending to me a mermaid in the foot deep water.  I was living the good life.  One day it was especially hot and though the pool had been in the backyard for weeks, it suddenly dawned on me that Colette must be especially warm with all that fur.  And he hadn't yet had a chance to use his new swimsuit.  It seemed awfully neglectful of me.

So I grabbed Colette off my bed and ran out to the pool, Mom yelling for me to wait for her from the kitchen.  Naturally, I didn't wait and jumped in my froggy pool Colette in hand.  I was pretty sure he loved the cool water on his fur because as everyone knows bears love water.  Colette had to be no exception.

When Mom came outside Colette and I were both soaking wet in the middle of the pool.  I held up my Colette proudly to show her how well I'd cooled off my dear bear friend.  I can only imagine Mom was not impressed as she nicely told me Colette might want to sunbathe for a bit.  Of course I thought that was a grand idea.

After a good day of "sunbathing," I decided to give Colette a wind and listen to some "It's a Small World."  I turned the winder in his back.  Nothing.  I turned it again.  Still nothing.  I turned and turned and turned and still Colette wouldn't sing.  I was devastated.  Colette had lost his voice.

Mom was very sympathetic and explained that maybe Colette just didn't like swimming like most bears do.  After all Colette liked to wear clothes and most bears didn't like to do that.  Her logic made perfect sense.  

Then she dropped the bomb.  Colette would need surgery.  Major surgery.  I cried as Mom cut open Colette's back on the dinning room table turned operating bench.  Slowly she removed the music box that had made Colette sing and carefully sewed Colette's back up.  He was left with a massive scar running the length of his little back - a reminder that teddy bears don't like to swim.

I joke now that Colette is a silent, meditative bear.  He's there to quietly make me feel better without being loud about it.  That probably makes me lame.  I think it makes me awesome.